Racebook: What they should be typing
Status updates from NASCAR's finest, as interpreted by ESPN.com's Marty Smith.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.
Tony Stewart: Thanks to Tim Allen and everyone at "Last Man Standing" for having me on the show. I couldn't help but ask him what it was like to work with Eddie Gossage on "Home Improvement."
Carl Edwards: After I lost the championship, I thought long and hard about pulling out my Sprint Samsung Galaxy 2 cell phone to call Dr. Phil. (Did you know you can see the person you're talking to on that thing?) I thought about UPSing myself to L.A., but I just pulled out my mountain bike and rode across the country to see him instead. Fortunately there were plenty of Subways along the way.
Kevin Harvick: Shopping at Baby Gap with DeLana. Saw Mother Function's entire spring wardrobe. #Schmedium
Matt Kenseth: Diaper Duty Or is it Diaper Doo-dy Haha Go Packers.
Brad Keselowski: When a guy hollers "Break a leg!" at you, listen to him.
Jimmie Johnson: Watched some guy lose $1.5 million at the craps table in Vegas. Thought to myself: Now he knows how I felt at Martinsville.
Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Dear friends: answering EVERY question with "You and me both, Junior," is not funny.
Jeff Gordon: BREAKIN' IS ON TBS!!!!! "Come on sucka, right now!"
Denny Hamlin: My boy MJ is getting married again. Reception at Butter!
Kurt Busch: Just found out my Daytona 500 car is the one Brad K won Dega in. Note to self: No two-car draft with Carl Edwards.
Kyle Busch: That naked M&M from the Super Bowl inspires me to come out of my shell this year.
Kasey Kahne: I'm such a boob sometimes.
Marty Smith is a contributor to ESPN's NASCAR coverage. He can be reached at ESPNsider@aol.com. Follow Marty on twitter at @MartySmithESPN
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The 54th running of the Daytona 500 is in the books. What started as a new season of hope for all ended its first chapter with one of the most memorable events in NASCAR history.