Racebook: What they should be typing

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Status updates from NASCAR's finest, as interpreted by ESPN.com's Marty Smith.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Tony Stewart: Thanks to Tim Allen and everyone at "Last Man Standing" for having me on the show. I couldn't help but ask him what it was like to work with Eddie Gossage on "Home Improvement."

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Andrew Weber/US PresswireCarl Edwards knows how to get his point -- and sponsors -- across.

Carl Edwards: After I lost the championship, I thought long and hard about pulling out my Sprint Samsung Galaxy 2 cell phone to call Dr. Phil. (Did you know you can see the person you're talking to on that thing?) I thought about UPSing myself to L.A., but I just pulled out my mountain bike and rode across the country to see him instead. Fortunately there were plenty of Subways along the way.

Kevin Harvick: Shopping at Baby Gap with DeLana. … Saw Mother Function's entire spring wardrobe. #Schmedium

Matt Kenseth: Diaper Duty … Or is it Diaper Doo-dy … Haha … Go Packers.

Brad Keselowski: When a guy hollers "Break a leg!" at you, listen to him.

Jimmie Johnson: Watched some guy lose $1.5 million at the craps table in Vegas. Thought to myself: Now he knows how I felt at Martinsville.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Dear friends: answering EVERY question with "You and me both, Junior," is not funny.

Jeff Gordon: BREAKIN' IS ON TBS!!!!! "Come on sucka, right now!"

Denny Hamlin: My boy MJ is getting married again. Reception at Butter!

Ryan Newman: Excited about Outback Steakhouse deal. I hope they let me record a Christmas album like Dale Jarrett and John Madden did.

Kurt Busch: Just found out my Daytona 500 car is the one Brad K won Dega in. Note to self: No two-car draft with Carl Edwards.

Kyle Busch: That naked M&M from the Super Bowl inspires me to come out of my shell this year.

Kasey Kahne: I'm such a boob sometimes.

Marty Smith is a contributor to ESPN's NASCAR coverage. He can be reached at ESPNsider@aol.com. Follow Marty on twitter at @MartySmithESPN

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Marty Smith | email

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• ESPN NASCAR lead reporter
• Former NASCAR.com senior writer
• 15 years covering NASCAR