Chat with Page 2's DJ Gallo
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Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the award-winning sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He is also a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion. His first book -- "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck" -- is in stores now.
Send your questions now and join DJ to chat on Monday at 2 p.m. ET!
Gallo Archive: Columns | Chats
DJ Gallo (2:03 PM)
Hello, SportsNation. Great to be back. I hope you are ready to welcome me and your new Steelers overlords. Do not worry, Steely McBeam will be gentle. Let's begin ...
Kevin (Springfield, MO
In all seriousness, the Cards final snap: fumble or incomplete pass? You gotta at least review that, right?
DJ Gallo (2:05 PM)
I have no idea. It doesn't matter how many times I see the rules, they don't make any sense to me. I thought Warner's earlier fumble/incompletion was a clear fumble. Apparently it was not. And I thought his second one was more questionable. Again, I have no clue. If anyone out there says something like the tuck rule makes sense, they are either a smarter man than me or a Patriots fan. Actually, they're just a Patriots fan.But I saw on the ESPN scroll this morning that the booth did review it and ruled it a fumble.
Matt (East Hartford via Albany)
DJ, thanks for saying that you were creeped out by Bruce's crotch slide into the camera, too. I still feel dirty for having seen that and getting no reaction from Bruce. Just odd all around.
DJ Gallo (2:06 PM)
Obvious cod piece. No man can take a hit like that from a camera and not feel pain. I know! I'm often hit by cameras down there!
Donnie (Indy)
Is Roethlisberger the worst two-time Super Bowl winning QB of all time?
DJ Gallo (2:07 PM)
No. But I do think Terry Bradshaw is the worst four-time Super Bowl winning QB.
Marty (Danville, PA)
DJ - which post SB celebratory moment was more cringe-worthy as a Steelers fan? The Cowher family high five at XL, or last night when Dan Rooney thanked Obama as his first order of business upon receiving the Lombardi Trophy?
DJ Gallo (2:08 PM)
The Cowher Family high-five by a mile. Not even close. And that's fully admitting that the Obama shout-out was weird.I'm confident that the Cowher's do that all the time. "Who enjoyed their cereal this morning? Everyone on three ... high-five!"
Jordan (Western PA)
Hey DJ, Tom Brady got MVP of Super Bowl 36 despite more than 100 yards LESS than Ben Roethlisberger and NOT making the game-winning play...meanwhile, Ben has only even made one pro bowl...what does he have to do to get the credit he really deserves??
DJ Gallo (2:11 PM)
It could have gone to Roethlisberger, Holmes or Harrison. They were all deserving. But yeah, the quarterback usually gets it in that situation. And Brady DEFINITELY would have gotten it in that situation. For whatever reason, there are just different rules for different players.Watch, if Brady plays Week 1 next year, he will be named Knee Surgeon of the Year by "Surgeons Magazine."
Jeremy (Columbus, OH)
What's more disappointing: the fact that Michael Phelps was caught smoking pot or the fact that his hat wasn't slanted in the picture?
DJ Gallo (2:13 PM)
Definitely the hat. Look, no one should be surprised he was smoking pot. He has been partying it up across the world since August. And the guy got a DUI when he was 19. So there's nothing to be surprised about there.But the sad part is he didn't stay true to himself. It's bad enough that he doesn't swim in a sideways hat. But to also not get high in a sideways hat? For shame, Phelps. For shame.
Bob (Boston)
The MVP of the superbowl should've been bernard pollard. He is the only reason pittsburgh won the superbowl. Rooney should've thanked pollard and no one else.
DJ Gallo (2:14 PM)
Boston, ladies and gentlemen. Boston. Let's hear it for Boston.
Jim (Steeler Nation, MD)
No question, just a statement: I threw up in my mouth a little when Fitz scored his 2nd TD.
DJ Gallo (2:15 PM)
I take it you are not a regular reader of the Minnesota Spokesman Recorder.
Sean (Philly)
Maybe he had smoked enough that he thought his hat was sideways.
Pablo (BCN, Spain)
I was having and argument with my friends. Federer's tears: A beautiful, touching moment or a pathetic one? It's OK to cry when you lose or you have to 'man-up'?
DJ Gallo (2:17 PM)
I say it's okay to cry when you lose a championship. If you lose in an earlier round, it's not okay. So okay for Roger Federer to cry, not okay for Adam Morrisson to do what he did. (Even if it was in the championship game.)
Bill Bidwell (Phoenix)
Did we win? How many home runs did we hit?
Mark (EB NJ)
Maybe we need to smoke enuff so that we think his hat is sideways.
BJ Slade (Charlotte)
Apparently, viewers in Tucson saw several seconds of a porn film during the Super Bowl. Don't you think Steely McBeam would make a great name for a porn actor?
DJ Gallo (2:19 PM)
My goodness. And the Cardinals still can't get good ratings for games?
Donnie (Indy)
Any thoughts on Cris Carter not making the HOF?
DJ Gallo (2:19 PM)
All he does is not get elected to the Hall of Fame.
Ben Omaha
Which MLB player would be the best first pick of the fantasy draft?
DJ Gallo (2:21 PM)
Shane Victorino. You have to have a glue guy and it's good to reward that kind of play with a top pick to show the rest of your team how you want them to play. But then Hanley Ramirez. (Note: this is only if you have the first and second pick. If you only have the first pick, go with Ramirez.)
Nate (Washington DC)
Is Keith Olberman gigantic? Or is Tiki Barber just tiny?
DJ Gallo (2:22 PM)
I think Olbermann was just standing on the remains of the GOP.
TO (Dallas)
Kurt should have thrown me the ball! I'm a playmaker!
DJ Gallo (2:23 PM)
This is one reason to watch the Pro Bowl. The other reason is ... hmmm.
Cosmo (Anytown, USA)
Isn't the appropriate reaction from the other guys at the table to roll their eyes whenever Matt Millen says anything?
DJ Gallo (2:26 PM)
Honestly, you can almost sense that when he talks, everyone else is almost about to crack up. Or just do one of those coughBScough things. But, in fairness, everything he says is right on if you just take the exact opposite of what he says.
Bob (PA)
What the heck happened to Brenda Warner? She went from college softball player to college volleyball player fairly quickly?
DJ Gallo (2:27 PM)
Not to get religious here, but I think it shows what the power of prayer can do.
Ben (Madison, WI)
You're a bum, but I love you anyways.
DJ Gallo (2:29 PM)
Thanks. But do you mean "bum" as in lazy. Or "bum" as in hobo. If it's the latter, those are fightin' words. I'm going to ride the rails all the way out to Madison and make you take that back.
Brittany (Indiana)
Any suggestions for ways to handle my football withdrawal over the coming months?
DJ Gallo (2:30 PM)
Perhaps you are new to this world, but I believe 24-hour NFL draft coverage has already begun. They actually didn't take a lot of time to review Warner's fumble at the end of the game in order to cut to NFL Draft show.
Andrew (PA)
I don't recall if you watch The Office or not, but did you catch the 1-hour special after the SB? Michael Scott was rockin' the turtleneck, so I wondered if you had any thoughts on his choice?
DJ Gallo (2:31 PM)
What?! No, I DVR'd it. I was watching Super Bowl post-game on ESPN. Now you ruined it. So he starts wearing a turtleneck and takes on superpowers and saves the world, right? That's just how I always imagined it will happen.
Tyler (Lawrence, KS)
Please tell me why James Harrison was not ejected last night?!
DJ Gallo (2:32 PM)
Would you like to tell James Harrison that he has been ejected from the Super Bowl?
Mike (Seattle)
I was watching the game at my local Scrapplebees and all of us there were wondering with all of the defensive attention that Boldin and Fitzgerald got why Warner didn't look more to Jerheme Urban?
DJ Gallo (2:33 PM)
He's clearly an anti-scrapite.
matt (Chicago)
Im glad to see a coach use his challenges to keep his team in the game like i did yesterday. Do you think Andy Reid or Lovie Smith learned anything?
DJ Gallo (2:34 PM)
I prefer when Andy Reid uses up his challenges on things like "Whaddaya mean the hot dog vendor is out of chili dogs? I challenge that!"
Hobo (pittsburgh)
So last night 10:15 I'm just minding by business on a street corner, when, all of the sudden, thousands of people run into the street and burn all my stuff. Do you know why this happened?
Bill (Baton Rouge, LA)
A couple of goal line stops by the Cards. Couldn't Tomlin have thrown The Bus in, for just one play!
DJ Gallo (2:35 PM)
I honestly think he could still produce in short-and-goal situations. The problem would be transporting his body the 30 or so yards from the sideline to the huddle without him getting too winded.
Jared (Berkley, MI)
What do you think is more insulting to the city of Detroit; Congress making the big three jump through hoops to get their bailout money, or NBC referring to Matt Millen as an "NFL Expert"
DJ Gallo (2:35 PM)
I know. People who think God doesn't meddle with sports are obviously wrong. It's clear he's just screwing with Detroit for fun.
Drew (Buffalo)
DJ, good article. I know you're a Steeler fan but you stayed pretty much unbiased. Which leads me to believe you aren't really a Steeler fan. No Steeler fan would ever give credit to anyone else or any other team.
DJ Gallo (2:38 PM)
Sorry for the delay in posting for a few minutes there. I had to wave my Terrible Towel over my head for a bit.
AK (Boston)
Way to rep Boston, Bob. You're the guys that make us all look like a******s.
DJ Gallo (2:39 PM)
Props to AK for getting the right amounts of asterisks in there: six. That's just three more than the Patriots have! (BOOM!) (I kid, I kid.)
Cosmo (Anytown, USA)
What makes the towel so terrible?
DJ Gallo (2:40 PM)
The thread count. It's like hospital bed sheet quality.
Tom Brady (Rehabilitation, hopefully)
I had a pretty good game in XXXIX and they gave it to my wide receiver, who had a worse game than Santonio Holmes. So, you know, you're wrong.
DJ Gallo (2:40 PM)
That was payback for your bogus one. You know that. Now please stop asking me questions and get back to picking the bacteria out of your wound. Training camp is only five months away!
Phil (Wichita, KS)
DJ, how come you said that the Super Bowl is your last NFL hangover? You're forgetting the all important Pro Bowl!! I need to know if Jason Witten will succeed in that game without BFF Tony Romo drawing up plays for him.
DJ Gallo (2:43 PM)
Don't worry, I am already diligently preparing for the NFL Draft. I have to watch hours of tape to find player weaknesses to mock. New material doesn't just come to you. As this year proved, the Bengals won't rob and steal forever. The Cowboys won't fall apart every year. (Well, at least I got that one.)
Matt (East Hartford via Albany)
I love the visual of Brady digging at his knee with a set of tweezers trying to get the bacteria out. Thanx, DJ.
DJ Gallo (2:44 PM)
Thanks, but that's not what he does. He sucks them out with a long bendy straw.
Steve (Las Vegas)
DJ, what do you use to keep your hair dandruff-free, and so bouncy and full of life?
DJ Gallo (2:44 PM)
Shave it off.
Larry Fitzgerald (Phoeniz, AZ)
How high do I go in next year's fantasy draft? Tell me it's before Brady.
DJ Gallo (2:45 PM)
If it's any consolation, Mr. Fitzgerald, I have you in my keeper league. And I will definitely be keeping you again ... as long as Leinart isn't taking over next year. Then I will trade your for some backup defense.
Eric Hinske
Do ya see know? I few days after pittsburgh signs me they win a championship. I was the missing piece.
Greg (Boston)
Dj thanks for that straw image, i just threw up in my mouth a little
DJ Gallo (2:46 PM)
Would you like to get your lunch back? Let me offer you this bendy straw ...
Eric (Whitewater Wi)
Wait, Phelps' hat isn't sideways?
DJ Gallo (2:47 PM)
After closer inspection, the bong was sideways. So at least he didn't completely sacrifice his beliefs.
Aaron (Louisville, KY)
Thank god the Steelers were all wearing those ill-fitting craptastic t-shirts and caps after the game or I wouldn't have known they were world champions. Are their jerseys that hideous that they have to cover them up first chance they get?
DJ Gallo (2:48 PM)
Did you see after the game that t-shirts are the first eco-friendly t-shirts every given out after a Super Bowl? That's great! Of course, that also means that in some third world village right now, not only are kids getting stuck with freaking Arizona Cardinals shirts, but Arizona Cardinals shirts that will fall apart in a week.
Nick (Marshfield, WI)
How come everyone is saying the Steeler's are the greatest NFL franchise now? The Packers have 12 NFL titles, twice as many as the Steelers. 9 of them came before the Super Bowl existed.
DJ Gallo (2:51 PM)
First of all, if you don't adopt the American position of an extremely short memory, you're never going to get anywhere. Do you not know that last night's game was THE GREATEST SUPER BOWL EVER! Followed by LAST YEAR'S GAME, OF COURSE!But, seriously, Green Bay has one one title in 40 years. It's hard to say they are the best franchise, no? The Pirates have a lot of World Series titles, but you don't see me telling people how great that franchise is. (When sober.)
Josh (Knoxville, TN)
Isn't it time that the folks in Pittsburgh abandon their washcloth towels and switch to loofahs?
DJ Gallo (2:52 PM)
Loofahs truly are terrible. I realize they are exfoliating, but maybe I want to keep my crusty, four-inch thick elbows.
matt (Chicago)
what are the odds Pitt takes all major sports titles this year minus hockey but thats not a real real sport?
DJ Gallo (2:53 PM)
Not an NBA fan, Matt?NHL: 1 in 20College basketball: 1 in 5MLB: Less likely than NBA
Steph(anie)(Cincy)
Crusty elbows? I am guessing you are a single guy?
DJ Gallo (2:54 PM)
I'll have you know that many ladies are quite attracted to ashy elbows.
Hank Steinbrenner (New York)
Who did ESPN say was the greatest franchise in sports? Those guys are a bunch a morons. (*Signs more overpriced free agents*)
DJ Gallo (2:55 PM)
You forgot to add (*Loses*)
Ironhead Haywood
Got a problem with loofahs?
Greg (Philly)
Best Steelers Touchdown... Holmes, Harrison, or Gary Russell?
DJ Gallo (2:58 PM)
Well, you have to credit Russell for scoring a touchdown that didn't have to be reviewed a thousand times. From Rberger's TD run in Super Bowl XL, to Holmes' catch against the Ravens in December this year, to Rberger's (non)TD in this year's Super Bowl, and then Harrison's score and Holmes' score, the Steelers seem to have something against just running into the middle of the end zone like a normal team. Everything has to be in or out by a millimeter on the boundary of the end zone.
Josh (Knoxville, TN)
DJ, will ask Steph(anie) how to pronounce her name? I've never seen parentheses in a name before. Are they silent?
DJ Gallo (2:59 PM)
Maybe she is a rapper.
Cosmo (Anytown, USA)
Is ESPN showing a countdown timer to the draft yet on the 'bottom line'?
DJ Gallo (3:00 PM)
I don't know. But if it was up to me, all NFL-related employees would have to wear a big Flavor Flav draft countdown clock until April. As the trendsetter I am, I already have one on. Unfortunately, my headshot cuts it off.
Earl Little Rock, AR
Do you think that horsie really fetched that stick?
DJ Gallo (3:02 PM)
DJ Gallo Factoid: The guy in that commercial was Zach from "Dream Job" a few years ago on ESPN. Yes, seriously.
Rumplestiltskin (Under A Huge Tree)
I have GOT to stop taking naps. What did I miss over the last 40 years?...this internet thing is pretty cool.
DJ Gallo (3:03 PM)
Winner for the most random question I've seen so far today. Well done, well done.
Danica P. (Obscurity)
Am I relevant again?
Jon (St. Paul, MN)
Has Danica Patrick crossed into Ana Kournikova territory with her Go-Daddy commercial? Making it on good looks and zero talent.
DJ Gallo (3:04 PM)
The sad thing is that Patrick isn't even remotely in the same league as Kournikova in the looks department. (Wait, let me double-check on that ... looks up from laptop, sees Anna smiling over at him from the couch ... yep, it's confirmed.)
J.B. (Dunmore, PA)
Did Pepsi do anything with its ads yesterday that made you want to drink it?
DJ Gallo (3:07 PM)
I thought Cheetos had the commercial that most made me question the quality of the product. "So the taste of Cheetos is most loved by the refined palate of city crows? Got it." I'll have some Cheezitz then.
Steph(anie)(Cincy)
I put the parentheses because when I used just Steph, no one was sure if I was a man or a woman.
DJ Gallo (3:08 PM)
Well, that explains why I can't find you in the Hip Hop store on iTunes. And here I thought I had my first famous reader.
Prince (Pittsburgh)
Am I know justified in smacking somebody who tries to tell me Eli Manning is better than Big Ben. (I'll slap them anyway I just want your opinion)
DJ Gallo (3:08 PM)
Good luck finding such a person.
Jonny (Hardknoxville)
Reportedly, the Warner family is NOT getting a puppy because the Cards lost. On a related note, DJ, who should I vote for as the Most Valuable Puppy from Puppy Bowl V, Eli or Matilda? I think Dan Rooney voted for the Obama-dog...
DJ Gallo (3:09 PM)
I loved that there was a dog named Eli. I flipped back to the pregame show before the Puppy Bowl was over, though. Can I assume that dog eventually peed on the floor?
Jordan (Peoria)
Amazingly, DJ has that problem too, except it has nothing to do with his name...Boom, Roasted
DJ Gallo (3:11 PM)
Good one. Seriously.I know male and female Jordan's. Which are you?
Ryan (Madison, WI)
Far be it from me to question the youngest coach ever to send someone back to return a kickoff in the Super Bowl, but why does Tomlin have 250-pounders doing that? It does not make sense.
DJ Gallo (3:12 PM)
Outside of 17 offensive linemen, the Steelers should definitely focus on that in the draft.It's an interesting approach, though. With big bodies returning it and moving the pile, they never start in side the 25. They also never start with it beyond the 32 either.
Jordan (Peoria)
Damn it! Why do American parents feel the need to make every name ambiguous?
DJ Gallo (3:14 PM)
Don't worry about it. Perhaps you just post like Steph(anie) and your name is really Jordanpeoria, which sounds very feminine.
Matt Millen (Tampa)
I predict this chat will end at 3:13
DJ Gallo (3:15 PM)
What the? How did you get this right? RUUUUUUUUUUUN! The world is about to end.
Jordan (Peoria)
I made the chat twice so that is good, but I am now viewed as a girl which sucks...but hey I made the chat twice
DJ Gallo (3:17 PM)
Okay, I'm done. My arms a tired from all the Terrible Loufa waving. Steely McBeam will see you now.
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