ESPN

Buzzmaster

  (4:58 PM)

Bill Simmons will be here to chat live throughout the entire Celtics vs. Magic and Hurricanes vs. Bruins playoffs games tonight. So send in your questions and check back at 7 p.m. ET for the answers!

Bill Simmons

  (6:59 PM)

Hey everyone! I am holed up in my man cave watching 3 games at once: Sox/Angels (extra innings), Celts-Magic Game 6 (7:00) and Bruins-Canes Game 7 (8:00). This could get ugly. This isn't going to be a typical chat... think of it more like a live running diary with thoughts from readers as well, or even a Binge Twitter Session. If you keep your questions + thoughts confined to the live events, you have a better chance of cracking the chat. One more thing: Stay thirsty, my friends.

Bill Simmons

  (7:00 PM)

Before we get into this, I want to thank the NHL for making me pay $79 to see tonight's Bruins game.

Bill Simmons

  (7:00 PM)

I had been holding off from getting the package out of principle: I mean, you're making people pay $79 to see your struggling league? That's your big plan to get hockey going in America again?

Bill Simmons

  (7:01 PM)

"The NHL: Where fans can only see one of two Game 7's unless they pay $79 happens."

Milan Lucic (Boston,MA)

I must break everyone.

Bill Simmons

  (7:03 PM)

Have to confess something that I have been meaning to confess for awhile...

Bill Simmons

  (7:04 PM)

I converted a two-car garage into an office last month. During the whole process, as I was figuring out where to put my TV, I realized that there was room for two smaller plasmas right next to it, and then a third on the far left of the wall.

Bill Simmons

  (7:05 PM)

What I'm trying to tell you is this: I have 4 TV's hooked up to separate DirecTV receivers.

Bill Simmons

  (7:05 PM)

Which means we'll be watching Ducks-Pens tonight as well. Good God, when did Spike give Michael Irvin a TV show?????

Brian (Uniontown, Ohio)

Need some visuals -- how many screens in this man cave? I visualize BS in a Dr. Evil-like lair, petting a hairless cat....

Bill Simmons

  (7:06 PM)

OK, so the big one is on the right. Two smaller ones atop each other to the left. And in the left corner, above shelves for all the receivers, a 4th one.

Bill Simmons

  (7:07 PM)

Hold on, I have an announcement: Stan Van Gundy dressed like he was presenting an AVN in Game 4. In game 5, he was dressed like he was attending a Sopranos casting call.

Bill Simmons

  (7:08 PM)

In Game 6? He's dressed like the manager of your local Louise's Trattoria.

Bill Simmons

  (7:09 PM)

Did we ever figure out if the whole "everyone wears the same color" gimmick works? It's kinda cool in hockey... but... in basketball?

Bill Simmons

  (7:10 PM)

Dwight Howard... the worst great player ever? Discuss.

Ben (Denver, CO)

Hey Bill, whose job is it on the Celtics bench to alert Kevin Garnett when the camera is on him so that he knows when to look intense?

Bill Simmons

  (7:11 PM)

Are you kidding? It's amazing KG hasn't charged the court yet! They have to hose him down after games.

Bill Simmons

  (7:12 PM)

Doc keeps his streak alive of "starting Big baby., then pulling him 90 secs in because he got a foul." Why start him???

Bill Simmons

  (7:13 PM)

Rondo should have made 3rd team All NBA... how did Shaq get on it? Put up an 18-8, team missed the playoffs, they couldn't give him away at the deadline, he got a coach fired. That's 3rd team All-NBA? And why were Gasol and Duncan considered forwards?

Matt (Colorado)

Dwight Howard is becoming the most overrated player in the league, and everyone is starting to realize it. What can he do on offense beside dunk? Then he calls out his coach, when it's the team's fault for the choke job, he has a lot of work to do to become a premier center in this league in my mind.

Bill Simmons

  (7:14 PM)

My issue is that he's not getting better, and also, he gets worse at the end of games. He's like Ben Wallace with a jump hook.

Michael (San Mateo)

You're saying Rondo should've gotten it over Parker, Bill? Come on. Are you that xenophobic?

Bill Simmons

  (7:15 PM)

No way. I would have had LeBron, Wade, CP, Howard, Kobe (1st team), Billups, Roy, Dirk, PP, Duncan (2nd), Yao, Gasol, Melo, Parker, Rondo ((3rd). last time I checked defense and wins mattered.

Eric (Waterloo Ontario)

LBJ and D Ho are the 2 athlethic freaks of the league. Too bad the latter never plays like he has anything on the line.

Bill Simmons

  (7:16 PM)

So far in his career, he is a frontrunner. Absolutely awesome when he's up 15. Disappears in the last five minutes as leads are collapsing. I think it's salvageable though.

Bill Simmons

  (7:16 PM)

I am hoping that Stan Van Gundy realizes that Rashard can get any shots against Baby and Scal during game 8.

Bill Simmons

  (7:17 PM)

13-8 Celts and both PP and Rondo look like they have their legs> This looks promising. Timeout, Ron Jeremy.

Bill Simmons

  (7:18 PM)

By the way, I boned up for this chat by doing some real-time writing on Twitter this week. Here's the link: https://twitter.com/sportsguy33. Don't think I won't rehash a couple of those jokes tonight. Do NOT put it past me.

Bill Simmons

  (7:19 PM)

My flip-flop on Twitter tranks among my greatest flip-flops ever - you'd have to go back to me liking the Joe Forte pick in 2001 and then turning on it for a comparable 180.

Bill Simmons

  (7:20 PM)

Sox-Angels: 4-4, 2nd and 3rd, 2 outs, Napoli vs. papelbon

Bill Simmons

  (7:20 PM)

How fitting is it that Patrick Ewing coaches Dwight Howard? That's like Keanu Reeves taking Paul Walker under his wing.

Jason C (Rancho Cucamonga CA)

Well apparently, you can't have three guards on the first-team.

Bill Simmons

  (7:21 PM)

But why not? The best 5 guys this year were Bron, Kobe, Wade, Paul and Howard. Those 5 guys beat any other 5 guys. Why can't that be the first team? Just play Kobe at small forward.

Bill Simmons

  (7:22 PM)

How many Spa Days do you think JJ Redick had this year? I say the over/under is 4.5.

Jamesa(ottawa)

Do we consider you a bandwagoning Bruins fan?

Bill Simmons

  (7:23 PM)

How dare you. I loved the B's as much as the Celts and Sox and Pats once upon a time. The owner pushed me away. Now we have a salary cap and he can't screw us anymore. I have been quietly easing back the past 2 years. It still hurts and I still hate him.

Bill Simmons

  (7:23 PM)

Speaking of hate, did I mention that the NHL charged $79 to see both Game 7's tonight?

Bill Simmons

  (7:24 PM)

Wrote this on Twitter today: Is it possible that one of Cristal Taylor's 8 aliases is "Gary Bettman?" She does have a checkered history of stealing money from people.

Bill Simmons

  (7:25 PM)

That reminds me, I bought the 2007 NBA MVP Trophy on EBay for $350 from a CTaylor41 last week... do I have to give it back?

Andrew (Guelph, ON)

Gary Bettman; "One Bill Simmons dollar! Two Bill Simmons dollars! Three Bill Simmons dollars . . ."

Dan (phoenix)

Can't you write that $79 off on ur taxes? U r sort of a sports writer.....BURN!

Bill Simmons

  (7:25 PM)

That's not the point. WHY SHOULD THE NHL GET THAT MONEY??????? Screw them.

Dan (Cambridge, MA)

Ok, Bill, serious question here. I was at the Bruins game for Game 5, and it was awesome. Insanely loud. When the sucker punch happened, the place erupted. I'm sitting in the upper section along one of the blue lines, two rows from the top, and this guy in the row in front of me chucks his water bottle in disgust. The bottle landed in CENTER ICE. From three rows from the top of the upper deck. It started the mass garbage throwing from everyone else, which was also awesome, but my question is, is that even possible, or was it a glitch in the Matrix or something?

Bill Simmons

  (7:26 PM)

You just reminded me: Tonight is the night that the Bruins are Michael Corleone and Scott Walker is Carlo. "It's time to pay for Santino, Carlo." It's time to pay for Aaron Ward.

Bill Simmons

  (7:28 PM)

Horrific offensive charge on Rondo by Danny Crawford. Just horrific. Celts 18, Magic 15, timeout. Sox-Angels in the 13th.

Bill Simmons

  (7:28 PM)

By the way, the Boston teams nailed the 3-0 Trifecta on Sunday and Tuesday. Odds of a 6-0? 48-1. I am too dumb to calculate the odds for 9-0.

Scott (Boston)

Speaking of glitches in the matrix: Julio Lugo has 5 hits today? Pardon?

Bill Simmons

  (7:29 PM)

And 17 crotch pulls. Quite a day for Lugo.

Bill Simmons

  (7:29 PM)

They just ran the Bird/DJ Amazing commercial. I'm woozy. I need some OJ.

Bill Simmons

  (7:31 PM)

My son is staring at me through a glass door right now. He's giving me the stinkeye like Reggie Miller gave the stinkeye to Ray Allen for the first five Round 2 games.

Bryon (San Diego)

You realize that after Kobe and Lakers finish off the Rockets that he is going to Colorado for a couple of pressure packed games, right?

Bill Simmons

  (7:32 PM)

I'm feeling a big Eddie House game tonight. Can't explain it.

Armen Soudjian (Los Angeles, Ca)

honestly, where do you stand on the dream of having KG miraculously coming back for the Eastern Conference Finals and NBA finals while putting his career on the line?

Bill Simmons

  (7:32 PM)

Please listen to today's BS Report with Will Carroll - he explains KG's knee injury in gory detail. I don't see it happening.

Andrew (Louisville)

Hey Bill, what would be the funniest moment in NBA history to see in one of the "slo mo - black and white Amazing" commercials?

Bill Simmons

  (7:32 PM)

The Artest Melee.

Bill Simmons

  (7:33 PM)

bases loaded, 1 out, Pedroia up, Big Papi's cadaver on deck.

Bill Simmons

  (7:33 PM)

Scal for three!!!! I think the concussion headband gave him super powers.

Bill Simmons

  (7:34 PM)

Can it really be good for KG's popelitus tendon to be smushed into a tiny seat on the bench like that?

Bill Simmons

  (7:35 PM)

Pietrus for three, Boston by 1. We should have signed Pietrus this summer and instead spent the money on Tony Allen and Patrick O'Bryant. I'm still bitter.

Bill Simmons

  (7:35 PM)

House for 3, Boston by 3, end of 1st quarter. Meanwhile, Papi up, bases loaded, 2 outs, 4-4 top if 12th. I am so wired that I feel like I just freebased.

Bob (Seattle)

Ortiz 0-6 based loaded, two outs. You pinch-hit, right?

Bill Simmons

  (7:36 PM)

Ouch.

Mike (Atlanta)

Bill, any way you can pull some strings so ESPN can pick up hockey before the night is over?? VERSUS is killing the sport. Here it is, Game 7, Carolina-Boston, and I'm forced to wait until the Detroit-Anaheim game is over before I can watch it. Nice planning by VERSUS. Are they intentionally trying to kill the sport? Whose bright idea was it to plan 2 games at once?

Bill Simmons

  (7:37 PM)

You can't blame Versus. The NHL controls the times of these games, and this is the same league that charges casual fans $79 to watch Game 7's.

Eric Manhattan NY

You are going to need a 5th plasma for Hard Knocks: BENGALS

Steve (Marlborough, MA)

DEAR GOD. Ortiz has made the third out in the 4th, 6th, 8th, 10th and 12th innings, leaving runners stranded in scoring position each time. This reminds me of when I was a kid and my dog got so old that she couldn't make it up and down stairs anymore. What's the over/under on games before Ortiz gets a phantom injury and a trip to the DL? (Yes I sent this before Ortiz was officially out, but we both knew it was coming)

Kenny (San Diego)

Come on, 0-7, you can do it! The triple platinum collar awaits!!

Bill Simmons

  (7:38 PM)

Papi just ended the inning with a 10-foot grounder. I will now light myself on fire.

Bobby, Melbourne

How can we change the NBA awards system? It's really messed up, and they get it wrong every time. I mean did you see some All-NBA votes went to Okur, Boozer and Iguodala? And I'm a Pacers fan, and happy for Granger, but Most Improved? He went from being very good to being great, I'm not too sure that's in the true meaning of the award.

Bill Simmons

  (7:39 PM)

It's unclear whether people who actually follow the league vote. I mean, Shaq made 3rd team ALL NBA!!!!

Bill Simmons

  (7:39 PM)

Coach interview: You guys will be happy to know that Doc Rivers "loved our pace." Meanwhile, score Red Wings!!!!!!

Bill Simmons

  (7:40 PM)

Is it a bad sign that our 2009 Defensive Player of the Year can't keep Kendrick Perkins from getting an easy 5 foot jumphook?

Bill Simmons

  (7:40 PM)

Boston 31, Orlando 22 - Celts have their legs and swagger tonight. I would not feel good if you have Orlando minus-7

Tom (Austin)

Is there a worse basketball announcer than Reggie Miller? I'm not just making fun of him here, I am actually asking you if there is one or if there has EVER been one. Well??

Bill Simmons

  (7:41 PM)

Whoops! Didn't mean to post that. Um...

Adam (Boston)

Remember when Perkins' ceiling was decent defending/rebounding big as a constant offensive liability? What happened this year? Or is it this series? He is truly owning Howard!

Bill Simmons

  (7:42 PM)

Can someone send me their stats through 5 games? It feels like Perk has almost played him to a draw.

Scott (Charleston, WV)

So when does Stan Van Gundy try to sub in the kid who got owned by Big Baby in Game 4 to put up more of a defensive struggle against K-Perk than Howard is offering tonight?

Pete (Ramstein AB, Germany)

Dirk is the best player on a professional sports team in Dallas. That crazy dude he dated was the hottest chick that he could get? Only in America.

Bill Simmons

  (7:42 PM)

"She's a stripper with 8 aliases and a record, he's a former NBA MVP from Germany, and I'm Maury Povich. Welcome back."

Bill Simmons

  (7:43 PM)

Sorry, I plagiarized myself from Twitter again. Couldn't help it.

Adam (New Rochelle, NY)

Bill, have you ever seen a team chemistry that has soured so dramatically so fast as we've seen from the Magic in the last 2 games of their series with Boston?

Bill Simmons

  (7:43 PM)

It really started with the Anthony Johnson/Van Gundy incident in Game 3... even though they won that was pretty goofy even for the NBA.

Teddy (Los Angeles)

Bill, this sorta has something to do with the live games. Did you watch the Sox-Angels game last night and catch Daniel Bard's debut? He looked pretty good, and that fastball is electric. Remember K-Rod in the '02 playoffs? You're looking at the '09 version with Bard.

Bill Simmons

  (7:44 PM)

I've had him on my League of Dorks team for 3 years. He throws 102. Thats always a plus. Angel on second, one out.

Max (NH)

Do you think SVG realizes yet that Pietrus should start over JJ Reddick yet? Or should we just never tell him?

Bill Simmons

  (7:44 PM)

Shhhhhhhhhh.

Chris (San Diego)

I realize you are busy with all of these games, but please, any reaction to the Lost finale last night?!?

Bill Simmons

  (7:44 PM)

Yes, when things calm down a little...

Bill Simmons

  (7:46 PM)

Walkoff single, Angels. Didn't take me long to jinx the third straight Trifecta. I'm such an ass. What was I thinking?

Bill Simmons

  (7:47 PM)

Look at Van Gundy's outfit tonight! My god! I can't get enough of it. He looks like he's on the sixth day of a cheap cruise and tonight is "Expensive Dinner" night.

Tony (Gainesville, Fla.)

Hey, some of us haven't had a chance to watch the Lost finale yet, so if you comment, PLEASE make sure to give a spoiler alert (you're pretty good about that but want to make sure). Thanks!

Bill Simmons

  (7:48 PM)

I promise: We won't talk about Sawyer killing Jack until LATER.

Bill Simmons

  (7:49 PM)

Jameer Nelson is dressed like he's one of the ushers for El Debarge's wedding to Janet Jackson in 1985. Great night for bad NBA outfits.

Bill Simmons

  (7:49 PM)

Shard just killed Scal: Tirico called it "no contest." I think SVG is Boston's MVP in this series. It should be over already.

Greg (Peterborouh, Ontario)

WHERE 8 MORE MINUTES OF SCALABRINE THIS HALF HAPPENS!

Alexander (Pittsburgh, PA)

actual odds of 6-0 trifecta is 64 to 1 and 9-0 trifecta is 512 to 1

Jay (Orange County)

Here's to Big Baby Davis, Ron Artest, and Von Wafer looking like modern day velociraptors with those hideous haircuts.

Bill Simmons

  (7:50 PM)

It's a 4-way tie for Worst Mohawk Ever along with Kooch from Vision Quest.

Bill Simmons

  (7:51 PM)

"Night of the Museum 2: Just When You Thought Ben Stiller Had Nothing Left To Sell Out."

Patrick (Meriden, CT)

Can we stop showing Kobe amazing commercials? Can we? Please? We get it. He hit a last second shot against Phoenix. Great.

Bill Simmons

  (7:53 PM)

Check out Jameer's suit!

Bill Simmons

  (7:54 PM)

This seems like a good time to mention that one of the 3 referees in this game is 68 years old.

Daryl Morey (Houston)

OF COURSE IVE GOT THE STATS FOR YOU. IM A NERD! Howard: 16pts 16.4 rebounds 1.4 asts .6 stl 2.2 blk 2.8 TOs 4PFs -3.4 +/- Perk: 10 pts 11.2 rebounds 1.8 asts .4 stls 2.2 blks 1.6 TOs 4 Pfs -3 +/-

Bill Simmons

  (7:54 PM)

Thanks Dork Elvis!

John (St. Cloud, MN)

Our campaign for you to save our floundering NBA franchise didn't work. Are you now going to be rooting against the Wolves for a long time, or will you root for Al?

Bill Simmons

  (7:55 PM)

I wish the Wolves best of luck in the lottery for the next 10 years. Eddie House for 3!!!!

Bill Simmons

  (7:56 PM)

Scal for three! Celts by 7. Amazing story. Seems like yesterday when he was begging fans through the paper not to mockingly chant his name anymore... now he's banging clutch playoff threes.

Bennett (Dover, NH)

Jameer looks like hes waiting to be drafted

Jay (Boston)

Micheal Rappaport is on FIYAH!

Matt (Los Angeles, CA)

KG's trash talking from the sideline is classless. It's one thing if he's on the floor...

Bill Simmons

  (7:57 PM)

I keep telling people: I can't condone KG's behavior. I would love to, but I can't.

Scott (Lowell, MA)

That Scal/House sequence was freakin' AMAZING. Celts want this *tonight*.

Bill Simmons

  (7:58 PM)

Agreed. Celts look hungry. It's helping that SVG refuses to play Shard-Hedu-Pietrus-Lee-Howard which is his best lineup by far.

Ryan (Denver, CO)

Are you kidding!? The Kobe commercials are the best ones purely because of Walton. 3 seconds left, he drops back behind the arch, AND CALLS FOR THE BALL. "Mr. Bryant i'm open! Mr. Bryant!" Absolutely hysterical. Unintentional Comedy Hall of Fame imo.

Matt (Richmond, VA)

Can someone tell Hubie to stop pronouncing Scalabrine's name: Scalabreen

Bill Simmons

  (7:58 PM)

Cut him some slack, he's older than Jacob on Lost.

Bill Simmons

  (7:59 PM)

My Dad can't even pronounce my name at this point and he's younger than Hubie.

Bill Simmons

  (8:00 PM)

How have we not seen an injury-racked playoff team start an Anthony Johnson-Flip Murray backcourt yet?

Bill Simmons

  (8:00 PM)

Ray Allen is doing a David Ortiz impersonation tonight.

Bill Simmons

  (8:01 PM)

What coffee table book would be shorter: "Dwight Howard's Most Effective Low Post Moves" or "Stan Van Gundy's Nicest Suits?"

Bill Simmons

  (8:03 PM)

Went with a veteran move with the TV Wall: Moved Ducks-Wings to left corner, Celts-Magic to middle top, Bruins-Canes to middle lower, and Celts-Magic on the big main TV. That way I can toggle between B's and Celts and know when either game came back from commercial. I'm a professional. Don't try this at home.

Sunny (Vancouver, BC)

I never got the JJ Redick perfect styling of the hair before a game. I mean it's a freaking elimination game that you are starting in, and you spent at least 20 mins getting your 'do just right. Maybe this is why there isn't more white guys in the NBA

Jared (Houston, TX)

You just haven't seen SVG's good suits yet; you have to catch him either on the set at Vivid or on Olive Garden Wednesdays.

Keith (Blacksburg, VA)

Both those coffee books would be epic volumes compared to "Times Bill Simmons Thought Better of Making a 90210 Reference"

Bill Simmons

  (8:04 PM)

How dare you.

Geoff (Boston, MA)

Fun Fact: The Bruins are trying to come back from 3-1 in a series for the first time in franchise history, their 0-20 all time.

Karma (Everywhere, USA)

Sorry, I can't stay and type very long. I need to get back to haunting Dwight Howard.

Kevin (Sioux Falls, SD)

Dan Aykroyd just announced they're making Celtic Pride 2. The plot involves making sure SVG gets to the game on time.

Casey (Dallas, TX)

The shortest coffee table book would be "Games SVG could keep a lead."

Bill Simmons

  (8:05 PM)

You guys are more on fire than House and Scal.

Matt (South Boston, MA)

How does the Sports Gal feel about the plethora of TV's currently in use?

Bill Simmons

  (8:05 PM)

I wouldn't use the word "delighted."

Paul (Berlin, Germany)

What happened to Ray Allen in this series?! It is sad to see him play with so tired legs, when he was the most important player in the bulls series... May be he could ask mikki moore, if he could borrow his legs, since he doesn't need them any time soon...

Bill Simmons

  (8:06 PM)

The Celts need rest. They're at the 200-game mark since Nov. 2007 and this is their 39th playoff game in 2 springs. They've played every other day for like a month. They need 2-3 days off.

Bill Simmons

  (8:07 PM)

Perk just broke the 1,500 mark for Consecutive Screens Wthout His Feet Set. He's 250 away froM Karl Malone.

Cason (Chapel Hill, NC)

I was at Game 6 of the Bruins-Hurricanes and Michael Irvin came up on the video board yelling "Let's go 'Canes. Give it up for the HURRICANES!" Everyone in the arena immediately knew that Karmanos had stolen from a college team, a dirty one at that. Is the NHL this broke? I challenge Boston to produce a video at intermission that features Reggie Miller, Kevin Love, Kareem or Bill Walton chanting "Let's go Bruins." The ball's in your court.

Danish (Toronto ON)

"They need 2-3 days off?" You mean like the Cavs have right now? Lebron is going to crush your squad.

Bill Simmons

  (8:08 PM)

Look... we know. We just want to get there. And then, hopefully, LeBron will sprain an ankle or blow out a hammy. By the way, the goal is to defend the title.

Bill Simmons

  (8:11 PM)

Danny Crawford just swing this game with the pushoff foul on Perk's followup. Seven point swing. Now it's tied. By the way, name a big guy who doesn't push off with their left arm when they dunk. The list is zero.

Mike (From the Garden)

Nothing like Rene Rancord singing the anthem!

Bill Simmons

  (8:12 PM)

Agreed. Bruins game just started, This is the best 79 bucks I spent in awhile.

Eric (Lindenhurst, IL)

Will Versus be able to satisfy America's desire for shots of Jim Belushi and Kid Rock during a Blackhawks-Red Wings series?

Will (San Diego)

Without getting fired can you comment on the 'Kobe Doin' Work' doc that you saw a few weeks back?

Bill Simmons

  (8:13 PM)

No.

Noam (Israel)

Can we just pencil in Lebron for the next 5 titles and agree that the competition is only for where he plays?

Bill Simmons

  (8:13 PM)

(silently nodding.)

George (NY)

The NBA Finals need a better name.

Bill Simmons

  (8:14 PM)

And it can't happen until they get a better trophy.

Bill Simmons

  (8:16 PM)

Halftime: Boston 46, Orlando 45. Stats that jumped out to me: Rondo has an 8-10-4-3 going ... Boston 1-9 for 3's ... only 19 team fouls combined ... big game for Peitrus off the bench (8 points, +6, 8 mins, SVG too stupid to play him) ... 12 and 9 for Howard

Scott (Newmarket, NH)

No matter what SVG or Dwight say tonight, the quote of the day has got to be: "I'm Milton Bradley, you know what I'm saying?"

Tom, New York

Halftime, just enough time for SVG to tell his team exactly how to gain the lead only to blow it in the 4th quarter, and also shoot two low budget films and polish off a cheesesteak.

Mike (Cranston, RI)

My cat thinks Chuck Kobasew will score the game winner.

Allen (Boston)

With Baby on the bench, who's gonna shove that pudgy 12 year old over when we win?

Bill Simmons

  (8:18 PM)

Is the kid there? I forgot to look. I wish Big Baby had shoved him harder - little kids should not be sitting courtside at NBA games. That's bad parenting. period.

Bill Simmons

  (8:19 PM)

Here's where I make my nightly joke that B's coach Claude Julien looks like either a bellhop or a maitre d at a mediocre French restaurant

john (boston)

Bad parenting is locking your self in a room watching sports for 4 hours while your kids.... wait...do you know where your kids are?

Bill Simmons

  (8:20 PM)

Who?

Bill Simmons

  (8:21 PM)

Scooooooooooooooooooooore!!!!!!!!!

Bill Simmons

  (8:22 PM)

Who had Byron Bitz in the office pool?

Rich (Worcester, MA)

so i'm flipping channels at commercials and along with potential clinching games in boston night it is also Tom Hanks night. Cast Away on FX and The Da Vinci Code on TNT

Bill Simmons

  (8:22 PM)

Oh boy. Cast Away is going on one of the four TVs. Hold on.

Bill Simmons

  (8:23 PM)

Uh-oh... Chuck Noland is getting on the plane...

Matt, San Diego

Bitz has been HUGE this playoffs. And possibly the best last name in hockey since Zhitnik.

Arturo (Mayaguez, PR)

Hey, You think we can get a petition going to get "Big Papi" a grandfather exception on the juice like they did with spitball pitchers in the 1920's?

Craig S (Warren, Rhode Island)

Best thing about cast away on one of your tvs is that you dont need sounds. i think there are three pages of total line in the whole script

Bill Simmons

  (8:24 PM)

Exactly. And I already memorized the 3 pages of lines. Serious question: in real life, is there any way Chuck survives the plane crash?

Roby D

Why do you care if your celts win the right to get swept by the Lebron's

Bill Simmons

  (8:25 PM)

because we're the champs! when you're the champs, you defend the title - that's what sports is all about. You don't roll over like the 1984 Sixers did.

Kevin Huntington Beach CA

Bill, when the hell do the sox move Big Papi down in the order or bench him? he was 0-7 today in the angels-sox game. bases loaded and he check swings a little dribbler!!!!! what the hel????

Bill Simmons

  (8:26 PM)

He should be batting 7th. But Francona is notoriously stubborn about showing faith in his players... even as they are decomposing.

Bill Simmons

  (8:27 PM)

Chuck's plane is going down. I made the mistake of watching this scene with my daughter once. It went over about as well as SVG's sub of Redick for Pietrus with 4 mins left in game 5.

Bill Simmons

  (8:28 PM)

Did you guys see that the Lakers line moved 3 points tonight? They're favored by 9 now. Crazy. Vegas does NOT believe in the Dork Elvises.

lancter (Boston)

odds of KG coming back for the cavs-celts series?

Bill Simmons

  (8:28 PM)

Will Carroll said it on the BS Report today: Four to one.

Ahad (Houston, TX)

The favorite topic of the postseason has been how players like Lebron and Melo learned from Kobe's intensity and work ethic over the summer, where's the mention of Dwight Howard's lack of these attributes?

Bill Simmons

  (8:30 PM)

Great question. If you remember, it's not like he lit the Redeem Team on fire. OK, what are the odds that this propeller doesn't kill Chuck Noland?

Lil Swen (Newton, MA)

Nice to see Mike Tyson getting some work in the "The Hang Over". Do you think they just paid him by giving him the tiger they used for the hotel room scene?

Bill Simmons

  (8:31 PM)

He was a last minute replacement for Pete Rose, who got diarrhea from the chicken fingers at the Monte Carlo's sports book.

Jaob (LOST Island)

I officially condone KG's behavior on the sideline.

Miner (San Francisco)

I read an SI article about Dwight Howard that talked about how he and his boys get all decked out, go out to the clubs and bars, and don't drink at all. I don't like him anymore.

Bill Simmons

  (8:32 PM)

I'd like to give a shoutout to Andy Brickley's killer Boston accent on the NESN telecast. I miss home.

Bill Simmons

  (8:33 PM)

Who would be the funnest female celeb who could marry Christian Ruutuu?

Jeffrey (Florida)

SG, if i had told you at the beginning of the playoffs that Brian Scalabrine would play 19 minutes in the first half of a game 6, would you have believed me?

Bill Simmons

  (8:34 PM)

No. No way. Not in a million years.

Brian (In my Allen jersey with Shuttlesworth on the back)

Don't worry, Lisa Salters just reported that SVG's game plan is to get Dwight Howard as many shots as possible.

Bill Simmons

  (8:37 PM)

Hubie just said that he liked the strategy of fouling Howard over giving up dunks, forgetting that our 3 big men are Perk, Baby and Scal.

Brad, Bloomington, IN

Could Ron Jeremy have coached the Magic better this series?

Brian( Phill)

What your take on Olivia Wilde being #1 on Maxim's list I don't see how anyone beats JLH

Bill Simmons

  (8:38 PM)

In my OC column from 2005, I GUARANTEED that she would be a bigger star than Mischa Barton. Very proud day for me.

Bill Simmons

  (8:39 PM)

Canes scored. 1-1. Nobody said this was gonna be easy. My Lord, Shard can go by Baby every time. How dumb is SVG????

Scott (Newmarket, NH)

Ruutuu answer: Crystal Taylor, of course

Bill Simmons

  (8:40 PM)

Good point. I demand a Cristal Taylor reality show. Wow, nobody picks up dumber fouls than Dwight Howard.

Jerry (upstate NY)

Check it out - Provetti is decked out in bright yellow - looks like a school bus. And the seats around him are empty. Who knows how to clear a room better?

Isaac (MT)

Why hasn't more been said about Powe going down? Think about how different this series would be if Powe was playing instead of Scalbrine, or if you had an extra 6 fouls to guard Howard.

Bill Simmons

  (8:41 PM)

Agreed. He was ahead of Baby in the rotation. Celts up 6, Rondo taking over.

Bill Simmons

  (8:42 PM)

Also in trouble: Chuck Noland. He just washed up on shore.

Jordan (RI)

Can we think of a name for rondo's fake-behind the back pass move that he loves?

Bill Simmons

  (8:42 PM)

Hmmmmmmm.

Bill Simmons

  (8:43 PM)

Someone just emailed me that Papi left 12 guys on base today. Just looked it up. On speechless. I almost want to cancel the chat. So bummed out. http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=290514103

Scott (Northern Virginia)

The Rondobout

Bill Simmons

  (8:44 PM)

Winner winner chicken dinner!

Jamie (Norwalk, CT)

Are you going to keep this going during the Lakers/Rockets game?

Bill Simmons

  (8:45 PM)

Depends on how happy/unhappy I am ... and also, if the Sports Gal cooks.

Bill Simmons

  (8:46 PM)

Another dumb foul for Dwight Howard. He seems like the kind of guy who gets a lot of tickets for not fully stopping at a stop sign.

Bill Simmons

  (8:47 PM)

B's just blew a power play, Celts by 10. I need some Adderall.

Brad (Kirksvile, MO aka Tornado Alley)

I swear to god, it's my parents wedding anniversary and Van Gundy is dressed almost exactly like my father did. My dad likes to go mock turtleneck as opposed to the polo-esque shirt under the blazer however.

Gary (Sacramento)

Do you ever wonder how horrible it would be to be stranded on an island with one last pair of contacts, no solution and no glasses?

Bill Simmons

  (8:49 PM)

I have thought about this 2500 different times at least. I'd be so useless on an island. I want to be cast on Useless Survivor. RONDO!

Noam (Israel)

Rondo with 11-13-6-4 in the middle of the 3rd? Are you f-ing kidding me? Does USA basketball even have room for another big-time PG?

Smoker (Portland)

Least plausible scene in all of LOST - episode one, when Sawyer gets mad and crumbles up and throws his cigarettes away in disgust. Plane has crashed, no idea how long you're going to be there, and you chuck your cigarettes away. Uh-huh.

Bill Simmons

  (8:52 PM)

They just showed trhe Amazin' commercial from 2000 Shaq-Kobe alleyoop... that's the only Kobe haircut I ever liked. He's had more bad hairdos than Mike Fratello.

Bill Simmons

  (8:53 PM)

Hanks was unbelievable in Cast Away. This was like his MJ/1993 season - no MVP, but arguably his best performance. Who else could have pulled off scene after scene of nothing?

Bill Simmons

  (8:54 PM)

I swear, I think Hanks' three best performances were Cast Away, Turner and Hooch and Big.

Jerry (upstate NY)

Who else could have pulled off scene after scene of nothing? - Other than Papi you mean... Thanks, Ill be here all week.

Bill Simmons

  (8:55 PM)

That hurts.

Bill Simmons

  (8:55 PM)

Redick had to shoot 2 for his last 256 for SCG to finally pull him for Pietrus.

Sully Sullenberger (US Airways)

I could have landed that plane for Chuck Noland. I need a new challenge after conquering the Hudson.

Bill Simmons

  (8:56 PM)

Dick Bavetta just got the memo from DS: "I want you to foul out Perkins and do it right now."

Joe (Bristol)

Um, you're not including Hanks' world class turn as Charlie Wilson? That was a HOF performance for so many reasons.

Bill Simmons

  (8:57 PM)

Great point. That was a potentially great movie that Julia Roberts murdered like SVG murdered Orlando's 2009 season. 15 rebounds for Rondo!

Eric (NYC)

Bigger mistake by a TV executive: Charging $79 for the playoffs or blurring Dunbar's diary?

Bill Simmons

  (8:59 PM)

By the way, thanks to everyone for keeping the chat lively tonight. Really appreciate it. I'm doing the best I can but now it's starting to get tense... keep the one-liners coming... thanks

Elan (Vancouver, BC)

Did you just see Rafer Alston kiss the top of the Ref's head? Looks like Orlando are desperate enough at this point to do "anything" to try and win this series

Bill Simmons

  (9:00 PM)

Come on ESPN - watch the Hedu closeups!! He already broke my HD tuner twice this spring.

Bill Simmons

  (9:01 PM)

Does that Vegas movie with Brad Cooper and Zack G looks horrendous or is it just me? They gotta remake that trailer.

Bill Simmons

  (9:02 PM)

Orlando posts up Shard on Scal, Shard gets fouled. We need to simulate this series with other coaches to see if Shard would have averaged 39 a game with anyone else coaching.

Bill Simmons

  (9:03 PM)

Truck Party to Baby for two!

Bill Simmons

  (9:04 PM)

I gotta hand it to Howard tonight: He is playing like he gives a crap. 9 offensive boards so far. The question remains: Why didn't he do this every game? It's the playoffs!

Sasha (Omaha, Ne)

The Ducks-Wings game is Awesome!! give it some love

Bill Simmons

  (9:04 PM)

Hold on, Chuck is burying one of the pilots... it's getting dusty in the Man Cave.

Abu (Pakistan)

When do we hear "Tony Allen is in for defensive purposes"?

Bill Simmons

  (9:06 PM)

That's not funny. Boston by one, end of the third. SVG interview coming. Watch how he repeats everything 3 times.

Scott (Somerville, MA)

I can't think of a single reason to wear anything other than a collared shirt under a suit jacket. Except, of course, to coach a pro sports team on national television.

Brad (Harrisburg, PA)

Did you just post Abu's question to show you have a reader named Abu from Pakistan? I'm allowed to ask that, right?

Bill Simmons

  (9:07 PM)

Come on, I'm huge in Pakistan!

KG (Orlando)

I am in a glass case of emotion!

Bill Simmons

  (9:08 PM)

It's been awhile: I forgot to mention that the NHL wanted their fans to pay $79 to see both Game 7's tonight. CROOKS! CROOKS!!!!!!!

Bill Simmons

  (9:09 PM)

Do you think the Heineken execs told their ad company, "Make us a commercial where it seems like designated driving is the most fun thing ever?"

Bill Simmons

  (9:10 PM)

If it was a real life ad, the guy would be driving while the girl in the passenger's seat threw up out the window and two people were dry humping in the backseat.

Bill Simmons

  (9:11 PM)

No SVG interview! He stiffed them. Oh boy, what made Chuck Noland think he could make it over the waves in the life raft???

Bill Simmons

  (9:11 PM)

JJ Redick just announced that he's leaving Orlando to play football at Syracuse.

Terry (Los Angeles, CA)

Did Chuck Noland work for UPS? DHL? I couldn't figure it out while watching.

Bill Simmons

  (9:15 PM)

Ducks just scored. 3 tied games right now.

Jordan Wv

That Hedu and Marbury skiff goes way back to the age old Istanbul and Coney Island beef

Steve Huffman Chicago, IL

Reason this is one of Hanks's greatest performances: he makes you care that a freaking volleyball got lost at sea.

Bill Simmons

  (9:16 PM)

I gotta say, Truck Party can go by Orlando's PGs any time he wants. God forbid we cleared out for him. OK, I am getting testy.

Bill Simmons

  (9:18 PM)

Orlando just missed 2 threes for the lead ... uh oh, Carolina scored ...

Bill Simmons

  (9:18 PM)

Pierce's jumper is flatter than Mary Kate Olsen.

Bill Simmons

  (9:19 PM)

Rondo for 3!!!!!!!!! He's on pace for a 26-20-10

Bill Simmons

  (9:20 PM)

Hubie just decided that he likes it when Rashard Lewis has the basketball in this series. Did Lewis' 10 straight uncotested drives tip him off?

Erik (Toronto) [via mobile]

Anaheim-Carolina is the worst possible Stanley Cup matchup. Is there any doubt that it's destined to happen?

Bill Simmons

  (9:20 PM)

The NHL deserves it... maybe Versus could PPV it for another 79 dollars.

Jeff (Rocklin, CA)

Would you rather see Tony Allen enter a game or Jacob join you for a cab ride?!!

Bill Simmons

  (9:21 PM)

I'd take my chances with Jacob.

ck, jersey city, nj

this celtics-magic game is the "cast away" of playoff basketball games. not much is happening, but it's tense throughout.

Bill Simmons

  (9:22 PM)

That's well put. is it just me or does Paul Maurice look like he should be hanging around a playground in a van?

Dewey (Boston)

thoughts on that last nike comercial with the puppets?

Bill Simmons

  (9:22 PM)

Debating...

Bill Simmons

  (9:23 PM)

FYI: if the announcers are praising you for being "super aggressive" in a playoff game, odds are you were mailing it in.

SVG

NO!!! STOP PASSING TO RASHARD!!! STOP IT!!!! HE'S SCORING TOO MUCH!!! I TOLD YOU, GIVE THE BALL TO MARCIN GORTAT!!!

Bill Simmons

  (9:24 PM)

Notice that orlando is playing that lineup I was afraid of? and winning all of a sudden? How dumb is SVG?

Bill Simmons

  (9:25 PM)

Shard for a drive and 2, Lewis by 5. I cannot believe Orlando hasn't clinched this series already. Their best five guys are Lee, Lewis, Pietrus, Hedu and Howard and I think it's the first time they played all of them together. It's amazing... so amazing... it's amazing...

Bill Simmons

  (9:26 PM)

That reminds me, Things I'd Do If I Were A Rapper, Vol 1: Record songs with choruses like "40 Games In 40 Nights," "Where Amazin' Happens" & "My Fab Five."

Jeff (Atlanta)

You know there is a problem with flopping in the NBA when an 8 year old kid stands his ground better than 6+ feet tall, 200+ pound, grown men.

Seth (Denver)

NBA is rigged as shown by nike puppet commercial.

Bill Simmons

  (9:29 PM)

Celts down 3, six to go...

Bill Simmons

  (9:29 PM)

Pierce again... he's heating up! His legs are dead for the playoffs but he can heat up for little stretches

Bill Simmons

  (9:30 PM)

Pierce for three!!! HEART OF A CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!

Eric (Storrs, CT)

Ice water

Sean (Orlando)

TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex (Randolph, MA)

Who found Pierce's Defibrulator?

Sam (Chapel Hill)

How can the Magic be this bad so many games in a row in crunch time. You'd think just by probability they'd eventually finish a game.

Bill Simmons

  (9:31 PM)

Kimmel just e-mailed me, "Has there ...ever been a basketball team with less muscle tone than the current Celtics lineup?" Sure. The 1957 Fort Wayne Pistons.

Cosmin, New York

Watch SVG put Reddick in now!

Bill Simmons

  (9:31 PM)

This would be funny.

Bill Simmons

  (9:31 PM)

This would be funny.

Richard Alpert, Parts Unknown

The celtics must lead the league in toe on the line jumpers. Dont they have the presence of mind to know where they are on the floor. So frustrating

Bill Simmons

  (9:34 PM)

My buddy Sully reports that that John Cena was sitting courtside wearing a Celts jersey and now he's wearing a Magic jersey - Orlando must have made him change it because they gave him the tix. Stay classy, Orlando.

Bill Simmons

  (9:34 PM)

SVG Wired: "LISTEN! LISTEN WE GOTTA MAKE PLAYS! LISTEN!!!!" He might never work again.

Bill Simmons

  (9:35 PM)

Wings 4, Ducks 3, 3 mins left...

Evilgrin72 (Orlando, FL)

I'm going to beat the rush and start putting For Sale signs in SVG's yard right now. BRB.

LT (seattle)

I think Orlando is running their 'deer in the headlights' offense right now.

Bill Simmons

  (9:37 PM)

Ray-Ray missed a three. Celts down onbe, 2:30 to go... I didn't think we'd see a worse Bos. performance than Papi's 12 LOB but we're getting close

Bill Simmons

  (9:38 PM)

Scal blocks Shard, PP gets fouled on the other end. You read it correctly: Scal swatted Shard.

Bitterville, usa

Get him a wheelchair!

Bill Simmons

  (9:38 PM)

Stop it...

Ray's Mom (Boston)

Ray Ray is 0-5 from 3 point land. That' just means he's hitting a game winner from deep. You watch, that's my baby out there!

JT (Phoenix, AZ)

4-3 Wings - Gary Bettman just took his oxygen mask off.

Bill Simmons

  (9:39 PM)

PP missed both. Crap.

Bill Simmons

  (9:40 PM)

That one hurt. I'm officially bitter. Chat could be ending abruptly.

Mack (Indianapolis, IN)

The Belushi-Kid Rock series is officially a GO!

myrtle beach, sc

ray ray will hit a jumper to close out orlando. have faith in jesus simmons

Bill Simmons

  (9:40 PM)

Good handshake line happening right now. I love the handshake line.

Bill Simmons

  (9:41 PM)

Bill Simmons

  (9:42 PM)

Just switched Cast Away to Yanks-Jays - I need to make A-Rod jokes to feel better

Bill Simmons

  (9:43 PM)

Celts fall asleep and forget that Hedu's only move is the stepback three. What an atrocious performance down the stretch. So ticked off. Orlando by six, 1:25 to go.

Bill Simmons

  (9:43 PM)

Orlando shoots 37.5 percent and gets outrebounded by 9 and they're winning... great...

Bill Simmons

  (9:45 PM)

I am a huge Paul Pierce fan but that's literally the 15th time at least that he's missed HUGE free throw(s) in a tight playoff game.

Bill Simmons (L.A.)

I'm already down the street walking Rufus.

Bill Simmons

  (9:46 PM)

don't laugh

Bob (Philly)

Yeah but 30-13 in FTs and 16-9 in Turnovers...Orlando is being more aggressive (can I get a commentator gig now?)

Bill Simmons

  (9:47 PM)

Actually, 31-13 FT advantage. I can't even complain, they attacked the rim all game.

Bill Simmons

  (9:48 PM)

Game time. What a collapse. Thought we had it. The good news: Celts have 2 days off before Game 7. They need it.

Bill Simmons

  (9:49 PM)

By the way, what a cover by Orlando... they somehow covered the minus-7. Final: 83-75.

Nate (Des Moines, IA)

Celtics are going to play their 5th game 7 in 13 months on Sunday, your theory that they're drained is warranted.

Bill Simmons

  (9:50 PM)

Mike Milbury's suit is cheering me up. Do I go with Versus or NESN for the 3rd period? I think NESN

Ryan W (Ottawa, ON)

It would be nice if you could watch the NHL on the network you work for.

Jeremy (Charlotte)

Final thoughts on how Howard played?

Bill Simmons

  (9:53 PM)

Really, really well. A 23-22 + hit 2 huge FT's...

Rufus (LA)

You wanna get the leash or should I?

Brian (San Diego)

NESN is a good choice since it's blacked out on Versus right now... Good job NHL! And by Good Job, I mean, "you suck"

Bill Simmons

  (9:54 PM)

Get your credit card out - for $79 you can watch the third period.

Rob, Boston

SG, who's your favorite NESN girl? Heidi or Kathryn?

Bill Simmons

  (9:54 PM)

I am a Kathryn cardholder.

Mike

Stay with NESN. You never know when Jack Edwards is going to go insane on the air. Seriously, look him up on Youtube

Nick M. (Atlanta, GA)

My wife of six months and I just bought a 52 inch LCD Samsung. We got the 120HZ because the salesguy said sports were incredible on it. So is this 2 hour Grey's Anatomy I'm being forced to watch. I love being married.

mike: detroit, MI

I just saw Don Cherry's jacket on CBC and I have a headache. Holy roses batman!

Bill Simmons

  (9:55 PM)

Is CBC on DirecTV? What channel?

Bill Simmons

  (9:56 PM)

Sign up to follow me on Twitter as a thanks for four hours of chatting. http://twitter.com/sportsguy33. Just do it. I need to pass William Shatner for followers.

Bill Simmons

  (9:56 PM)

Shatman, I am gunning for you!

Dan (Nutley, NJ)

What do you expect out of Ray Allen on Sunday?

Bill Simmons

  (9:56 PM)

I am hoping for a pulse. I do think the extra day off will work wonders for him.

mike (brighton)

All of SG nation wants to know if youre coming out for game 7? And you going to be celebrating with us at Sullys? (knock on wood)

Bill Simmons

  (9:57 PM)

Of course I'm coming back.

Bill Simmons

  (9:58 PM)

Wow... Canes almost scored. Off the post. Edwards: "Bruins dodged a cannonball."

Bill Simmons

  (9:59 PM)

Repeating myself from Twitter: If Lucic legally changed his name to Billy Murphy or Seamus Sullivan, he'd rule Mass. like Joe Kennedy did.

Joe (Los Angeles, CA)

For those who didn't fork over the money, and are "local" to Anaheim, VS still hasn't switched over to the Bruins.

Bill Simmons

  (10:02 PM)

Actual quote I just said to my daughter: "Honey you have to go - Dad has to make money to buy your Scooby Doo DVD's."

Bill Simmons

  (10:02 PM)

I think she gets confused when I am sitting on the sofa online in jogging pants and claim that I am working.

Nate (Des Moines, IA)

Again, Manny Ramirez didn't have an RBI in the ENTIRE 2004 ALCS Series against the Yanks. All you New York fans who want to say the World Series MVP is tainted: we didn't need him to smoke you after being down 0-3!!!!!

Bill Simmons

  (10:03 PM)

Don't know where that came from, but... YEAH!!!!

Bill Simmons

  (10:03 PM)

Rockets 10, Lakers 1. COME ON LOOCH!

tony - portland, me

bill, isnt it too early for this bruins team? they are extremely green and are facing an experienced carolina team. dont get me wrong, i think the bruins have some great years ahead of them, but this team is verrrrryyyy young.

Bill Simmons

  (10:04 PM)

Possible. You gotta sow your playoff oats so to speak... but a home Game 7?

Bill Simmons

  (10:04 PM)

There it is!!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOCH!!!!! 2-2 game.

Eric (Storrs, CT)

LOOCH....ASS KICKER!!!

Brian (Philly)

Billy Murphy/Seamus Sullivan with the GOAL!

ryan (denver)

GOALLLLLLLLLLL

Ken (Boston MA)

SCORE! Milan Billy Murphy Seamus Sullivan Lucic!

Milan Lucic (Boston, MA)

I will have my pick of the hottest chicks in Melrose tonight!!!

Bill Simmons

  (10:05 PM)

We need to keep Looch away from Ulf Samuelsson Jr.

Bill Simmons

  (10:06 PM)

A game-winner from Looch followed by him cold-cocking Walker in the handshake line would make him the new Paul Revere in Boston.

Eric (Storrs, CT)

There must be 5 people in this chat. I have been trying for 4 years to get into a chat/mailbag and never have. I got 2 tonight. GIMMME THE HAT TRICK BABY!!!!!

Bill Simmons

  (10:07 PM)

There it is! Actualy we've had 29,000 questions/submissions in 3 hours... the readers are on fire.

George (Philly):

It's getting late in the 3rd....say this thing goes 3-4 OTs you sticking it out with us? (I know, I know, I jinxed it)

Bill Simmons

  (10:08 PM)

Oh Lord no...

Bill Simmons

  (10:08 PM)

Scott Walker - KILL HIM! KILL HIM!

Bill Simmons

  (10:09 PM)

chatting during a playoff hockey game: near impossible. afraid to even look at my laptop screen

Steinmetz(CT)

You should get 1 point for scoring on Gasol

Bill Simmons

  (10:10 PM)

17-3 Rockets.

Robert (Huntsville, Al)

Do you feel any shame for saying you won't root for the B's until the owner is gone, and here you are rooting for them? I feel for you, I'm a Redskins fan. Every year I disown them because of Snyder but always end up rooting for them... Just wondering...

Bill Simmons

  (10:11 PM)

The salary cap has made him irrelevant though. There's no way for him to be a soul-less miser. I hope we win the Cup, and then, as he's hoisting it over his head, he knocks himself unconscious with it.

Brian Foley (Stafford, VA)

Can we mention how well Jason Bay is playing? He has been Boston's most clutch/ best player. How important is re-signing him?

Bill Simmons

  (10:13 PM)

Hold on, Carolina turned it up a notch... yeeeesh. Playoff hockey should be sponsored by Marlboro Reds.

Matt (Detroit)

I thought Rod Brindamour was dead . . . or is this his grandson?

Robbie (Pound Ridge, NY)

On a scale of 1-10 how much more interested are you in this game if it's the whalers v. bruins? BRING BACK THE WHALE!

Scott (Northern Virginia)

You know, playoff hockey is just fantastic. Heartstopping, bonecrunching, unpredictable, and super super fast. Why doesn't the NHL just get out of its way? Why?

Bill Simmons

  (10:14 PM)

I know I've been watching too much hoops cuz Savard got cross-checked after the whistle and I was waiting for them to call a flagrant 2.

Robert (Toronto)

1-10 -- How annoying is Dameshek going to be if it's B's/Pens

Bill Simmons

  (10:15 PM)

A 10. And he's coming on the BS Report tomorrow whether the B's win or not. We might just throw down. Have an actual fight. I want to pull his size XL Lemeiux t-shirt over his head and pummel him.

Jeremy Jacobs (East Aurora, NY)

I'm a soul-less miser, still. It's just that the NHL makes me spend most of that $79 we just got from you on player salaries. And it *kills* me to do it.

Bill Simmons

  (10:17 PM)

I have a Tribe-Rays game on one of the TVs and there's like 75 people there at Tropicana. So much for baseball taking off in TB.

Bill Simmons

  (10:18 PM)

This is too much. Too tense. So bad for chatting. I can't even spell.

Paul R. (allentown, pa)

Bettmans thought: How can my NHL make as few people as possible aware that the Chicago/Detroit serious will be amazing and so will the B's/Pens

Bill Simmons

  (10:19 PM)

Seamus Sullivan Murphy Looch is all over the place. Possessed.

Bill Simmons

  (10:20 PM)

Recchi almost stuffed it in. By the way there is like 10 old timers in this game. I think Rod Brind'amour was on the '79 Habs.

Bill Simmons

  (10:21 PM)

The NHL just announced that each OT will have an ala carte price: $4.99 per OT, or you can buy three at once for $9.99.

Rug (Yellowknife, NT, Canada)

Seriously, as a sports fan and sports writer, how could you possibly have given up on this sport??? Other than because of Bettman's obvious attempt to alienate the league from the entire American population.

Bill Simmons

  (10:23 PM)

BECAUSE MY OWNER WAS AN EFFING CHEAPSKATE!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe (LA & Danvers, MA)

Lucic is like a rusty steak knife cutting through a well aged steak

Bill Simmons

  (10:23 PM)

Samsanov is like Jacob on Lost - he's in every scene. Does this guy rest?

Bill Simmons

  (10:24 PM)

oh my god

Bill Simmons

  (10:24 PM)

my god

Bill Simmons

  (10:24 PM)

god

Bill Simmons

  (10:24 PM)

god

Luke (Syracuse, NY)

Holy poop.

Brick Tamland (Whale's Vagina)

I LOVE HOCKEY

Dan [via mobile]

This Boston team has everything you could possibly want in a Stanley cup winner. The biggest player in league history (chara) a career minor leaguer who's gonna win the vezina trophy this year (Thomas), a 20yr old budding star who's already a cult hero (Lucic) a cancer survivor (kessel) a former superduperstar on his last legs (recchi) and the most anonymous future hall of famer ever (savard). Team of destiny?

Rich (Pittsburgh)

Is hbo doing hard knocks on the Bengals their way of replacing Oz...minus the sodomy... I think.

Danny (Boston)

I'm on my 11th beer of the 3rd period...i can't take this anymore

John (Philly) [via mobile]

Does Rufus get another walk if the B's lose this game?

Bill Simmons

  (10:25 PM)

To Sacramento

Jim (J-ville)

I have to poop so bad but I'm refusing to go until the end of regulation. Playoff hockey, we make you hold your poops.

Bill Simmons

  (10:27 PM)

Can we make Samsanov pee in a cup before OT?

Bill Simmons

  (10:28 PM)

A Game 7 overtime potentially... I mean, there's just nothing fun about Game 7 OT. Nothing. Even winning: Not fun. Like water torture.

Geoff (Boston, MA)

That's not a bad idea with Samsonov considering this guy was done with Boston four years ago

Bill Simmons

  (10:29 PM)

Bruins havent gotten a good shot in eons... not feeling good... under a minute

Bill Simmons

  (10:30 PM)

Best email from a friend to make me feel better about Celts loss: "2 more days now for KG to heal"

Bill Simmons

  (10:31 PM)

I can't do OT. I want to end the chat. Talk me into it...

Bill Simmons

  (10:32 PM)

Holy mackerel. Sudden death winner takes the series. Insane. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Joe (East Haven, CT)

Is it just the Boston fan in me to expect Samsonov to score in overtime just to make all of us even more upset we let him go play for the habs and the whalers...our 2 biggest rivals (yes i called them the whalers)

Bill Simmons

  (10:32 PM)

No, I thought the same.

Rufus (end of the couch)

I'm stretching. I AM READY TO WALK! I am in a walking mood. What, OT. Let me out in the yard to pee.

Bill Simmons

  (10:36 PM)

My Dad's take: "They're playing a little better than we are."

Mike (Toronto)

Game 7 OVERTIME. Nothing more intense in all of sports. Pour yourself a rye and coke to take the edge off Bill!

Jody (Springfield)

god I'm absolutely shaking right now playoff hockey is the best and the worst of sports wrapped into one sphincter tightening package...

Tom (Vermont)

So at what point are you going to a Bruins game? Conference finals? Stanley Cup Finals? Jeremy Jacobs Memorial Night?

Bill Simmons

  (10:37 PM)

I was supposed to go to Game 5 of B's-Habs with my Dad. Was super pumped. Then they swept. Never thought i'd be slightly disappointed by the Bruins sweeping Montreal.

Marc:( Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)

Two scenarios will result in the winner. A great chance by one team leads to a rush by the other to win it. Or a random shot from 35 feet out somehow finds its way in.

Bill Simmons

  (10:38 PM)

This is how tonight's game will end: With Looch as Rob Lowe. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rWJqeCMNC8

Bill Simmons

  (10:39 PM)

Trying to think of the last Bruins sudden death Game 7... Buffalo 1983? Brad Park?

Joe, Summerside PEI

Regarding Samsonov- he was absolutely brutal in Montreal, then the Blackhawks picked him up and they couldn't wait to put him in on waivers, now all of a sudden he's clutch? This is his fourth team since he left Boston. Knowing Samsonov, he'll either score the winner, or the B's will score the winner off one of his trademark turnovers.

Dale (st. paul mn)

can we please have some more shots at vs/nhl for being unavailable to poor saps like me? you mean you can't put a game 7 on nbc instead of tv reruns?!?!?

Bill Simmons

  (10:40 PM)

Sure. Send your complaints right now about how much the NHL sucks for screwing this up.

Will (NYC)

You cannot tell me you have not snuck a cigarette in at some point tonight. I have RUN outside my building to take 2 in the last 30 minutes.

Bill Simmons

  (10:41 PM)

I am done. Have not touched a cig in 2009. Now I just get a buzz by looking at Mike Milbury's suits in HD.

Paul, Evanston

I would never be able to constantly write while watching my teams in incredbly close and pressure-filled playoff games. I was going to congratulate you on being able to do that, but you do this for a living. F*&k you.

Zach (New York, NY)

Are you going to comment on the LOST finale? I have spoken with a bunch of friends who watch it and their responses are like people who see Fight Club. They either love it and will punch you if you don't, or hate it and will punch you if you do.

Bill Simmons

  (10:42 PM)

Im gonna wait - thinking about a Lost podcast on Monday or Tuesday. Not everyone has seen it.

Patrick (Kansas City, MO)

Never been around, seen, or been interested in NHL before. You piqued the interest, but when I turned on Versus there was a recap show on. How do they not turn on the overtime of the Boston/Carolina? This is probably the NHL's one shot for me, and they're blowing it like McGrady in the clutch

Chris (Jersey)

Just my luck...I effing hate the NBA and watch back to back games to be able to participate in this chat, and now its all geared towards the NHL playoffs which I cant watch...I give up Simmons.

Bill Simmons

  (10:43 PM)

You sounds like quite a sports fan!

Dan NY, NY

What a phony you are for not watching the Bruins all regular season and pretending to be super nervous right now.

Bill Simmons

  (10:44 PM)

That's total BS. I absolutely watched the Bruins this season - I watched more hockey than I let on. Remember, I have 4 TVs.

Mack (Indianapolis, IN)

For Patrick in KC --- there is a 15-minute intermission between periods...stay the course and the OT will be on your screen in a few.

Eric (Blacksburg VA)

Since you won't comment on Lost then how bout commenting on HBK vs. Undertaker from Wrestlemania...unless you plan to do a podcast on that, which would be cool as well.

Bill Simmons

  (10:46 PM)

I finally saw it and loved it. An old-school match with old-school pacing... shades of the Backlund Era. Michaels now might be the second greatest wrestler ever behind Flair. Also, Undertaker's Botox or eye lift or whatever he did was phenomenal.

Kyle (Omaha, NE)

Bill, I for one am glad you are following the nhl again... regardless of their screwy t.v. deal... Chris from Jersey can shove it

Bill Simmons

  (10:48 PM)

thanks Kyle! I didn't like the product or my franchise... now the product is SO much better and my franchise can't be cheap anymore... I enjoyed Caps-Pens as well. Stayed away from the West although Chi-Det will suck me in.

Chris (hartford, ct)

If the B's don't come back, will Boston hating fans be able to purchase autographed pictures of you on your couch tonight, like Buckner signing stills from Game 6?

Bill Simmons

  (10:48 PM)

that hurts

Jason (Houston)

Or how about commenting on the craptastic reappearance of Kim Bauer. I never thought I would be against seeing Elisha Cuthbert but I am.

Bill Simmons

  (10:49 PM)

She's brutal. By the way I had a reader claim that Luis Scola looks like South American Adam Carolla and it's kinda true.

Bill Simmons

  (10:49 PM)

Here we go... thanks for sticking with the chat.

Jeff (Norwalk, CT)

If the Bruins lose, I'm going to drive down to Versus in Stamford and put Bill Patrick in a full nelson.

Jordan (Boston, MA)

Holy crap, timmy thomassssssss!!!!

Andy in BC

The main reason I have trouble watching the NBA...the refs! My God, this is brutal

Bill Simmons

  (10:52 PM)

That is the NHL's biggest advantage - the players decide games for the most part

Jason (NJ)

Another beauty of OT hockey, you need to commit borderline murder to get a penalty called now.

Steve: Torrance, CA

Can we get a full column about the state of NBA officiating? We have commentators OPENLY questioning the horrible calls every game. It needs its own column. It really does. Please?

JT (Phoenix)

Does Dunkin' Doughnuts sponsor everything in Boston? Are they sponsoring this chat?

Bill Simmons

  (10:54 PM)

Sadly no - but they do sponsor everything. And with reason. What's better than D and D?

Bill Simmons

  (10:54 PM)

Sorry my posts hyave dwindled but Sports Gal brought me food and I am chowing down like a Survivor contestant right now

Bill Simmons

  (10:55 PM)

Samsanov is quadruple shifting... TEST HIS URINE!

Bill Simmons

  (10:56 PM)

Gotta say, Canes have dominated last 10-12 minutes

Bill Simmons

  (10:57 PM)

A game-winner by Scott Walker would have caused the biggest riot since 1776.

Bill Simmons

  (10:58 PM)

Yessir! Ward just knocked two u's out of Ruutuu.

Rhys (Toronto)

You know what that means, when one team is dominating but not putting it away, the other team wins it. This is rule #1 of OT.

Bill Simmons

  (10:58 PM)

The whistles have been tucked away.

Tim (East Berlin, PA)

Concord and Lexington were 1775, c'mon, you're better than that.

Bill Simmons

  (11:01 PM)

Hubie Brown loved that timeout by Claude Julien.

Greg, New York

Sadly this chat is how I am getting updates on the hockey game. Thanks VERSUS

Brant ( Markle, IN)

Whats it say about hockey, when the only game I have 'watched' in 5 years, was watched twitter style...

KB

Nice job of TSN bringing up the 0-20 stat. Even Canada likes to torture Boston fans

Corey (Cape Cod, MA)

Goalie Stick Changes = Never Good

Zo, (Arlington, VA)

Bill, do you think that Pau Gasol was named Paul as a kid, but some kid out-rebounded him for the the 'L' during a pick up game?

Andre Vancouver, BC

The NHL needs to rework the TV deal, no matter what the penalty is. This is simply unacceptable.

Jim, Boston

How different is Basketball if you can sub on the fly? I'm intrigued.

Steve (Chicago, IL)

do you think anyone in the world was looking forward to watching Sports Soup on Versus tonight and just got really disappointed to see that this game is on?

Bill Simmons

  (11:04 PM)

Matt Iseman's family?

Nathan, Colorado Springs

The NHL must hire the same sage to advise its marketing dept. as Dirk does to give love life advice.

Bill Simmons

  (11:06 PM)

No offense to jack Edwards, but Fred Cusick would have left me a withering panting incoherent mess if he was doing this game

Bill Simmons

  (11:06 PM)

Thomas just stoned Lucifer Walker.

Jo (Cranford, NJ)

when the canes are buzzing like this, all i hear is duke yelling "STAY AWAY FROM HIM!"

Jason Iseman (California)

No, I'd rather watch this.

mauch (Detroit, MI)

SAVE BY THOMAS!!!!!!! On his knees. Let's go Red Wings. Sorry, too pumped up.

Bitter Bruins Fan - Boston

Isn't it about time for Glen Wessley to send a backhand over an empty net?

Geoff (Killingly, CT)

we want it...best chant ever

Bill Simmons

  (11:11 PM)

OK, just finished eating - I have more energy than Samsanov after a new shipment of female fertility drugs

Jay (Syracuse, NY)

I just cant cheer for a hockey team dressed like the little girl in that Blind Mellon music video

Greg (Boston

Everytime Walker touches the puck near the net, rage boils in my heart hoping it won't end like this...

Bill Simmons

  (11:12 PM)

From Jacko: 'Paul Maurice looks like an extra in Apollo 13, got to be hard to coach while trying to figure out how to get the astronauts back safely."

Mark (Lancaster, Ca)

No TV time outs in OT? WOW Quick someone call the NHL and tell them to get a sponsor then. As in "This ot is brought to you by Patron and Captain Morgan."

Bill Simmons

  (11:12 PM)

they don't need sponsor money - they got my 79 dollars.

Bill Simmons

  (11:13 PM)

No idea how the Canes didn't score there... looked like a lock. B's losing steam. Crap.

Nick (New York, NY)

I think the Bruins just committed 12 penalties during/after that rush.

Casey (Dallas, TX)

OHHHH!!! Only rules now are icing and offsides...

Leigh san jose [via mobile]

The sports gal is an absolute saint. She watches two YOUNG children while you watch 4 tvs in the man cave and she brings you food?

Bill Simmons

  (11:14 PM)

She's an MVP.

Bill Simmons

  (11:15 PM)

Edwards called Axelsson behind the net "in Gretzky's office." That's forcing it. Can't we bring Fred Cusick back for the second OT? Revive him like Locke? Do we have to bring his body to the old Boston Garden?

Beau (Ames, IA)

Rocky music!!!

Bill Simmons

  (11:16 PM)

He's right - this is a good sign. Have a good feeling.

Bill Simmons

  (11:17 PM)

Good energy from B's - I vote for Rocky music during every timeout. Give us the start to Rocky 2 - come on.

G.Miller (Montreal, Canada)

Am I the only one who noticed that Brind'amour went to the locker room after getting hit in face with the puck while on the bench?!

Mike, Bruins Nation West

So proud of the Bruin fans! They're bringing it!

Augie, New Jersey

Hockey is crazy, grown men flying around on ice-skates with no regard for their teeth or their bodies.

Bill Simmons

  (11:18 PM)

And beards. You forgot beards.

Hurka (Philly)

Rocky is a Philly movie, I don't care how much you quote it. Boston doesn't get to use that. Not for their hockey team that no one cared about before this season.

Bill Simmons

  (11:19 PM)

Try to sell 10,00 tickets for a Sixers playoff game and you can give us crap.

Bill Simmons

  (11:20 PM)

Canes have had some GREAT chances in this OT. At least four heartstoppers.

Bill Simmons

  (11:20 PM)

Can we get Jack Edwards some coffee? What about a danish?

Josh (Hoboken, NJ)

Bill-- just thought I'd bring up that every player on the ice tonight have as many HR's as David Ortiz...

Bill Simmons

  (11:21 PM)

Please stop. No more. I am waving the flag.

Dave (Boston,MA)

Is there anything Philly isn't bitter about?

Bill Simmons

  (11:23 PM)

You gotta be kidding me.

Bill Simmons

  (11:23 PM)

Worst.

Bill Simmons

  (11:23 PM)

Case.

Bill Simmons

  (11:23 PM)

Scenario.

Bill Simmons

  (11:23 PM)

Time to go walking... thanks everybody.