ESPN

DJ Gallo

  (2:02 PM)

Hello, SportsNation. I hope you are enjoying the Senior British Open. All credit to Tom Watson for how well he is playing. But can you imagine what Tiger Woods will do to this course 17 years from now when he is 50?

Steve (Minneapolis)

I work in costomer service, I answer phone calls from people all over the nation, all day long. Every once in a while I get a sports junky who wants to talk about his team. Even mor rarly the sports fans is from Wisconsin and wants to talk about the Packers! Is it wrong for me to gently and politly tell the Packer fan off?

DJ Gallo

  (2:04 PM)

First of all, please don't lie. There is no Minneapolis, India. As for your question, there's no reason to be mean to a Packers fan. Unless they start telling you how good Brett Favre is. Then blow an air horn into the phone.

MS (philadelphia)

what celebrity do you think you resemble?

DJ Gallo

  (2:06 PM)

You tell me and I'll tell you if I've gotten it before. (Of course, I've been told I look like all of People Magazine's Sexiest Men Alive since 1974, so no need to mention those.)

Jeremy Mayfield (via mobile)

Dear Mr. Manners: Is it rude to take the batteries out of your friends stuff because you uh, need them for your flashlight?

DJ Gallo

  (2:07 PM)

I don't know. I do know, however, that your step-mom is a whore and a murderer. (Just quoting you, of course. High five!)

BRETT s. (TAMPA)

can you talk about your new Scrapplebees location? IT NEVER GETS OLD GALLO!!!!!!!

DJ Gallo

  (2:10 PM)

I have some bad news. All Scrapplebees franchise locations are closing. It turns out Lenny Dykstra -- namesake of the dykstraws in all of our drinks -- was the Scrapplebees CFO. Wayne Chrebet -- namesake of our Jalapeno Chrebites -- has been summoned to save things financially. But it may be too late.

Evan (Lexington)

Who wins in a hilariously terrible, grossly pedofilic, and overall just... sad beard contest between Sidney Crosby and Adam Morrison?

DJ Gallo

  (2:11 PM)

Good question. This demands a beard-off. Sidney, Adam ... start growing your beards ... NOW! (Okay, when I have a chat in December, we'll check in on them to see how their peach fuzz is coming in.)

greg (LA)

any truth to the rumors that the new sportspickle.com (now updated daily!) is run by a team of hobos you have spent the last 3 years teaching web design?

DJ Gallo

  (2:13 PM)

Actually, yes. That was my secret. The Obama Administration touted "shovel-ready" jobs with their stimulus package. But I'm the only one who offered any "bindle-ready" jobs.

Terrell (Buffalo NY)

Dr Mr Manners : When can I stop this awful charade I have to put on for my new fans and team mates to like me?

DJ Gallo

  (2:14 PM)

How about the first time Trent Edwards overthrows you in a regular season game?

Dave (DC)

Is there any athlete who would have a rougher time on Deal or No Deal than Marian Hossa?

Matt Kolodziej (Pittsburgh)

so you hate the Ravens, often target the Bengals, actually know a good bit of information about the Pirates, and have a link to Mondesi's house on SportsPickle's homepage... What is your connection with Pittsburgh?

DJ Gallo

  (2:16 PM)

WHA?! I hate the Ravens?! Target the Bengals?! Why, I never! I am a JOURNALIST. I have no biases. (My family is originally from Pittsburgh. And I'm not a journalist.)

Andrew (Cleveland)

Is exchanging the carcass of Ben Wallace for the carcass of Shaq really going to help LeBron?

DJ Gallo

  (2:17 PM)

Let's be fair: Shaq's is a much bigger carcass than Ben Wallace's. Few will want to enter the lane with such an intense smell of rotting flesh.

Dave (Alexandria, VA)

Since CollegeHumor runs cute college chick of the day on their site, can you please run cute hobo chick of the day on your site?

DJ Gallo

  (2:17 PM)

I still say Rickey Henderson's HOF induction speech is the must-see sports event of the summer.

Drew (Plainville, MA)

Hey DJ,Would a relegation/promotion system (like European soccer) benefit the MLB? Or would your beloved Pirates be busted down to Cape Cod league ball too fast for you to even complain?

DJ Gallo

  (2:21 PM)

I love the way they do it in European soccer. How cool would it be if, say, the Salt Lake Bees won the PCL and got moved up to the majors while the Nationals got bumped down? Very cool. There's your answer. Very cool. The slow-pitch softball league actually does this, too. Finish last in your division, you drop down one. Win, and you move up. So, I would say the two premier sports leagues in the world are European soccer leagues and my slow-pitch, recreational softball league. No question.

Hampton Stevens (Awesomeville, USA)

The Chiefs signing Matt Castle (sic) to a multi-decade, gillion dollar deal. What the French, Toast?

DJ Gallo

  (2:22 PM)

Cassel? I thought they signed Scott Mitchell. Either way, bad deal.

Jeff M (Pittsburgh, PA)

Dear Mr. Manners: My girlfriend wants to go to a concert next Friday, but the Pirates play the Natinals that night and I can't possibly miss it live. I think Jeff Karstens may be the starter for the Buccos. How can I possibly see this epic battle without getting dumped?

DJ Gallo

  (2:24 PM)

Just explain to her how hot Karstens is: http://serah.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/captcb769c14668b489381ef262c94152db5marlins_pirates_baseball_pagp102-252x300.jpg. She won't want to miss that.

Matt (Jacksonville)

Will the PGA change the cut rules if Tiger misses the cut?

DJ Gallo

  (2:25 PM)

Not change the rules. I think they'll just flip all of the Turnberry leaderboards upside-down. Hey, lookie there! Tiger's almost in first!

fred (omaha)

do you know where the buzzmaster lives, i want to go see him

DJ Gallo

  (2:26 PM)

The Buzzmaster lives inside all of us.

Dave (Alexandria, VA)

Your celebrity look alike: http://tinyurl.com/n8xm6e

DJ Gallo

  (2:27 PM)

From the neck up, not counting the face part ... TOTALLY!

Craig G. (Fairfield, CA)

Hey D.J., what's your favorite mascot in all of sports?

DJ Gallo

  (2:27 PM)

It's a tie between Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden.

Scott (Peoria, IL)

DJ, what did you have for breakfast today?

DJ Gallo

  (2:28 PM)

An iced coffee. I forgot to eat anything. I had a slice of leftover pizza and an apple for lunch. Maybe I'll schedule a chat for tonight to update you on dinner.

Andrew (Cleveland)

Tell Jeff in Pittsburgh that events like that usually qualify as community service. Girls usually are willing to go along, particular if it helps feed the needy Zimmerman family.

Michael Strahan (FOX Sports)

I dont have any manners. dont you remember when I got snarky with that reporter a few years back and i was yelling at him with food in my mouth?

DJ Gallo

  (2:31 PM)

I'm sure you weren't being rude. I'm sure you were justing testing out your sure-to-be HI-LARIOUS character on your new Fox sitcom.

frankg (metroplex)

What's your take on Martellus Bennett's new olympic feats in self-idiocy?

Eric Stoltz (montgomery al)

so is there any talks of any teams outside of the sec actually trying to win the bcs this year?

DJ Gallo

  (2:33 PM)

You have to try pretty hard to go down as the dumbest Dallas Cowboy in history.

DJ Gallo

  (2:33 PM)

Based on the non-conference schedules I've seen, no.

BobbyJ (Houston)

Obama's first pitch? Bush's threw a strike --off the mound -- under immense pressure in Sept 2001. Obama bounced it.How does that makes you feel?

DJ Gallo

  (2:34 PM)

Worst things about the opening pitch: 1) Fox's camera work; 2) Barry's mom jeans; 3) the actual pitch.

Craig G. (Fairfield, CA)

Most ridiculous hair in all of sports? I think it's a 3-way tie between Hasheem Thabeet's mohawk, Ryan Franklin's beard and Chad Zaveda's mustache.

DJ Gallo

  (2:35 PM)

In fairness, Thabeet's "mohawk" is not really a mohawk. It's just that the hair on the side of his head was rubbed off from opposing players' legs as they jumped over him to dunk.

Jack (Chicago)

What has a better chance of seeing a 5th week, Strahan's FOX show or Daunte Culpepper?

DJ Gallo

  (2:36 PM)

I actually think that's the concept of the show. It will just keep adding washed-up NFL players who get released. Daunte Culpepper will be on one week. Fred Taylor a few weeks later.

Jennifer (New York)

More played out: Twitter, or old people making jokes that they don't know what "A Twitter" is?

DJ Gallo

  (2:38 PM)

I'm actually going to have to go with the latter. @oldpeople - y so lame?

Barack Obama (Air Force One)

You forgot about the part where I was wearing ASICS. A Japanese shoe from 1994? What, I couldn't find my British Knights?

DJ Gallo

  (2:38 PM)

Good point. At least you could have supported an American shoe company like LA Gear.

Mike (Iowa)

Hey RJ, er, Mr. Manners, I pulled a Brock Lesnar here at work, and finished it up by telling my boss his wife's corn salsa sucks. I went home feeling better than ever. What was your problem dissing Brock?

DJ Gallo

  (2:40 PM)

Where did you eat his wife's corn salsa? (Not a euphemism.)

RAY GORDON REID ( JACKSONVILLE FLA 32207)

QUESTION TO DI GALLO AT 2.55PM HI DJ GALLO WHOS YOUR PICK TO WIN NFC EAST

DJ Gallo

  (2:41 PM)

ANSWER TO RAY GORDON REID AT 2:50PM HI RAY GORDON REID PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

DJ Jr. (Pottsville, PA)

I follow both your twitter accounts, I read sportspickle daily, I constantly scan ESPN for new articles from you. What can I do to be a bigger DJ Gallo fan?

DJ Gallo

  (2:44 PM)

A DJ Gallo tattoo would be nice. Make it big and on your neck to look like a turtleneck.

Matt (Jacksonville)

"At 59 years old, it's almost as good as having sex." Too much Tom Watson

DJ Gallo

  (2:45 PM)

Whaaaaat? Please say he didn't really say that. Frankly, Watson ... you're making me sick to my stomach.

John (Dallas)

IS IT TRUE THAT IF YOU POST A COMMENT IN CAPS IT WILL GET ANSWERED?

DJ Gallo

  (2:45 PM)

no

Sports Headline Writers (Everywhere)

With Watson in the lead, and Holmes 3 shots back, and the event in Scotland, could our jobs be any easier this weekend?

DJ Gallo

  (2:46 PM)

It's just too bad Tiger's last name isn't Wang.

Scott (Peoria, IL)

Why don't you put out those great full season, day by day predictions for the MLB season anymore? Those were some of your best work.

DJ Gallo

  (2:47 PM)

Really? I tended to think they were quantity over quality. I want to focus more on lack of quantity AND lack of quality.

Rigidy (Hartford)

How many hours a day are you spending writing at this point? It seems like you have been doing more articles for page 2 and are now updating sportspickle daily. I mean, if you add that to the limited amount of actual sports research that you need to do for your job, do you ever get out?

DJ Gallo

  (2:49 PM)

In some ways my sportspickle time commitment is actually less now 'cause I can post the stuff to the site myself and write stuff whenever I think of it, not just for Wednesdays. As for ever getting out, I was going to do something super awesome and cool today at 2 pm. But then I was asked to chat. Oh well.

Mark L (East Brunswick NJ)

We need more pictures with captions from you. You should have your own tab on Page 2

DJ Gallo

  (2:50 PM)

I actually have tabs all around the country charged to Page 2. ZING-a-ZING-ZING!!!!!

Kevin (Atlanta)

I wanted to read your chat, but have been too busy playing with john daly's pants on the front of page two (also not a euphemism)

Brett Favre (Minnesota)

Is it really wise of me to play for another year or should I just go back to Heaven and resume my old job?

Paul (Pittsburgh)

How rediculus is it that the buccos are actually considering bringing back wilson and freddy?

DJ Gallo

  (2:52 PM)

Well, I do think they are the best 2B-SS fielding combo in baseball. So it will be sad to see them as old guys making errors and dooming the Pirates season four years from now when the rest of the team is good.

Dudzik (Hartford)

Honestly, how many respected professionals do you know with an abbreviation as their first name?

DJ Gallo

  (2:52 PM)

JD Salinger. Gen. Patton.

Sports Headline Writers (Everywhere)

We are still bitter Hunter Mahan didn't catch Tiger a couple weekends ago

DJ Gallo

  (2:53 PM)

Hunter in the hunt. Hunter lurking. Hunter on the prowl. Tiger being chased by Hunter. Hunter nearing Woods.

Matt (Jacksonville)

McLouth-Sanchez-Bay-Aramis Ramirez-Xavier Nady-Doumit-Jack Wilson. That's a pretty good lineup the Pirates could have

DJ Gallo

  (2:55 PM)

The Aramis Ramirez trade has to be Top 10 worst in baseball history. The Pirates got Bobby Hill for Ramirez and Lofton. And not even the cartoon Bobby Hill. At least that would have been funny.

Dave (Alexandria, VA)

John -- I'm more concerned that RAY GORDON REID posted that 15 minutes in the future than that he posted it in all caps. At least we know what zip code to avoid.

DJ Gallo

  (2:56 PM)

TO RAY GORDON REID AT 2:53PM HI RAY GORDON REID PLEASE TELL ME WHAT STOCKS I SHOULD BUY NOW AND THEN SELL IN 30 MINUTES.

Jim Hendry (Chicago)

Ummm, you mean in the Top 10 best trades.

Nick (Dayton, Oh)

What is your go to choice of garb on a night out trying to slew the ladies?

DJ Gallo

  (2:58 PM)

I go with the John Daly line.

Craig (Quincy, MA)

Have you ever challenged Keith Law to a snark contest?

DJ Gallo

  (2:58 PM)

A snark-off? Intriguing.

Matt (Jacksonville)

I think you are forgetting the immortal Jose Hernandez was also sent to the Pirates in the Ramirez deal. He was like Mark Reynolds except without any of the good qualities

Ben (Charlotte)

Have you seen Harry Potter yet?

DJ Gallo

  (3:01 PM)

I have never read the books or seen the movies. But the actors are pretty old now. Is there a hardcore sex scene in the new movie? There should be. JK Rowling can afford a few lawsuits.

frankg (metroplex)

Why do athletes/musicians think that they're immediately funny by osmosis just because they hang out with comedians? i.e. John Mayer he ain't funny

DJ Gallo

  (3:02 PM)

So does John Mayer also hang out with musicians who don't make me want to shove a screwdriver into my ears?

Roland (London, Ontario)

Is Marino going to make up for never winning a Superbowl by winning the British Open?

DJ Gallo

  (3:02 PM)

His Isotoner golf glove is pretty sweet.

Matt (Pensacola)

Is JK Rowling a MILF? I say yes.

DJ Gallo

  (3:03 PM)

I, of course, have NO idea what milf means. BUT ... JK Rowling is another initial person. I.R.! (That stands for Initials RULE.)

Bob (Lowell)

Was the 11:00 am chat about fantasy injuries a jab at hypochondriacs?

Tom (Chicago)

DJ, in all seriousness (worth a shot), what percent of Caribbean baseball players lie about their age? Why does Tom Watson get so much hype for performing at age 59 when Jose Contreras is doing the same?

DJ Gallo

  (3:06 PM)

Nice. In all seriousness, I don't quite see the shock over a 59-year-old guy being good at ... GOLF. I play golf. I'm not a golf hater. But Tom Watson winning the British Open is not quite the same as Dr. J leading the Sixers to an NBA title next year.

Dudzik (Hartford)

Ok, so you came up with 3. I still don't see DJ Gallo on that list...

DJ Gallo

  (3:07 PM)

Well, I'm the obvious one. But I try to at least pretend I'm humble. For example, JD Salinger ... what have you done for me lately? Have you written a snarky column answering fake questions from athletes? Uh ... no, he has not.

Drew (Plainville, MA)

I have an hour before I leave work, I'm trying to do as little as possible while still appearing busy. That is why I'm typing this. Keyboard noises = hard work. The effort it has taken me to type this out is far more work than I've done in the past few hours. Thank you for allowing me to waste my afternoon with you.

DJ Gallo

  (3:09 PM)

You get to leave work at 4? Does your e-mail address end in .gov?

Andrew (Cleveland)

Did you know Megan Fox has toe thumbs?

DJ Gallo

  (3:09 PM)

Gross! I know I would kick her out of bed for eating crackers with her toe thumbs.

John (Dallas)

Wait, are you saying the John Ellway isn't coming back to QB for the Broncos?

DJ Gallo

  (3:10 PM)

He may. But he would still have no chance to win without Terrell Davis, same as before.

Dave (Alexandria, VA)

I like Drew's style. I'm only here because my boss left right after he realized Tiger was missing the cut at the British Open.

DJ Gallo

  (3:11 PM)

I hope your company has a generous grieving allowance. Poor guy.

John (Dallas)

Wow, I wonder what she could do with her feet?...........

DJ Gallo

  (3:12 PM)

I'm all toe thumbs when I get close to an attractive woman.

Tyler (Illinois)

you guys know that the all-star game was the most watched baseball game in 10 years (including any play-off performances) thats insane.

DJ Gallo

  (3:14 PM)

Well, yeah! When homefield in the World Series comes down to a face-off between all-time greats such as Adam Jones and Heath Bell ... PEOPLE WANT TO WATCH!!!

duck prosecution (Baltimore)

DJ, who are better athletes, baseball players or NASCAR drivers?

DJ Gallo

  (3:15 PM)

Baseball players. But NASCAR drivers are more adventurous drug users.

Adam Jones (Baltimore)

Before long, I will be an all-time great. Watch what you say initial boy.

DJ Gallo

  (3:16 PM)

Maybe. You're young. But speaking of initials ... you're someone who really needs to go with them. Adam Jones?! Come on, man! Don't you get tired of people ducking and screaming every time you introduce yourself?

Barry Bonds (San Francisco)

You realize I played baseball right? How many drugs can you inject in your butt. The answer is 7. Thanks for playing.

DJ Gallo

  (3:17 PM)

Good point. Is a steroid used to improve the muscle quality of cattle > = or < than meth?

Matt (Pensacola)

How many bad "Ernest and Julio" jokes do you get per week?

DJ Gallo

  (3:19 PM)

A few. But not nearly as many bad turtleneck jokes. Never wear a zip-up in a picture that will post as less than an inch-by-inch. That's what I tell all the kids. Second: lay off the meth.

Rigidy (Hartford)

Honestly, how much would you pay to watch a shaq - lesnar fight?

DJ Gallo

  (3:20 PM)

Meh. I'd pass. I would get a sense of the fight from following Shaq's twitter feed: ... OW! My arm! ... I think I'm dying! ... Gut punches hurt! Y I never do situps? ...

Fred (Cincinnati)

Speaking of JK Rowling, how long until you write another book? Or better yet, when does your first book get its own movie deal?

DJ Gallo

  (3:22 PM)

Unfortunately my first book was a bit too light on the wizards and people flying around on brooms. Big mistake. My next book will be out soon. It has wizards. (Really.)

Bobo the Hobo ((Hobotown))

Hey DJ, did you catch the Hobo All-Star game last week? Crazy game. The Hobo from Philadelphia threw a no-hitter. Of course, no one had a ball of any kind, so hitting was naturally rough going.

Sean (Philly)

Does Michael Jordan count as a Wizard?

DJ Gallo

  (3:25 PM)

Thanks a lot for the reminder, jerk. There goes five years of counseling.

matt (fort collins)

t.j. lavin, d.j. mbenga, a.c. slater, m.c. hammer. You're probably right in the middle somewhere.

aaron (PA)

who was your favorite baseball player as a kid? why?

DJ Gallo

  (3:27 PM)

Tony Pena. He had all kinds of funky ways to crouch behind the plate. And then Barry Bonds. Later he had all kinds of funky ways to take steroids.

Jonathan (Kentucky)

My uncle was a hobo - literally. He is featured in some of my earliest memories. He'd show up every year or two when I was a kid, and crash in our garage or on the family room floor if he'd bathed fairly recently. That is, until he showed up soon after my youngest brother was born, and puked all down the hallway. Then he was sent out to the yard to sleep it off under an oak tree.

DJ Gallo

  (3:27 PM)

I really have nothing to add. Other than that I would like to visit your family sometime.

nathan (nashville)

hey guys, im a fifteen year old kid who is playing ina fantasy league with my uncles. any idea on who is going to have the best D this year?

DJ Gallo

  (3:29 PM)

Pittsburgh is a safe bet. Easy schedule. And in-division they play against the Bengals, the Browns and the now Derrick Mason-less Ravens. Unrelated, how may uncles do you have? Enough for a fantasy football league? Are you one of the Jacksons?

Sean (Philly)

JB Jolmes, DJ Trahan, KJ Choi, WC Liang (?) are all initials on the British Open leaderboard.

Chuck Norris (Texas)

Nathan, the best Defense is not to offend. Right Guard

Fred (Cincinnati)

You're last book had Wizards, the Chosen One, and brooms (courtesy of Chicago Cubs opponents). How come that wasn't as successful as Harry Potter?

DJ Gallo

  (3:31 PM)

Good point. But the Harry Potter books came out before my book. I'm only a few tens of millions behind.

Dave (DC)

KD Lang, RW McQuarters, HR Puff 'N Stuff, Tylenol PM, etc.

DJ Gallo

  (3:33 PM)

Okay, people. I'm heading out of SportsNation. Enjoy your weekend and the conclusion of the Senior British Open. I hope to be back for another chat around the time of the Senior PGA. Old men playing golf ... CATCH THE FEVER!!! (But not a real fever, hopefully. Old people's immune systems aren't so good.)