ESPN

DJ Gallo

  (12:03 PM)

Hello, SportsNation. Good day. Apparently there is a NASCAR race on ESPN right now. I'll let you know if there are any cool crashes you should step away for. Let's begin ...

Mike (Boston)

Throughout ESPN (.com and TV) we hear all this talk about "DISTRACTIONS" . Please explain to me how the legal trouble of Pierce is going to distract Eli Manning. Is he gonna be so worried about the legal trouble that he is not going to be able to learn plays and make the correct throws????

DJ Gallo

  (12:05 PM)

I disagree. There can be distractions. For example, Eli could be worried that if he throws a particularly awful interception, Pierce will be less likely now to grab the ball and hide it to cover the evidence.

Evan (Lexington)

I know a lot of people think Shaq will really help the Cavs, but when I see him and Lebron next to eachother I can't help thinking that when Lebron inevitably upstages him, shaq will just eat him to feel like he won. And then he will probably rap about it... poorly.

DJ Gallo

  (12:06 PM)

New lyrics to Shoot, Pass, Slam: Do you want me to shoot it? (No!) Do you want me to pass it? (No!) Do you want me to run up the court without stopping to catch my breath? (Yay!) Get out the way, get out the way, get out the way ...

Josh (orladno)

please start... I can hardly wait!!!

DJ Gallo

  (12:08 PM)

Why is everyone asking why I'm late? I'm not late. Maybe Orladno is just in a different time zone.

Jim (Houston, TX)

Have you stopped hanging posters of your favorite Pirates players in your mom's basement because they will only last for half a season before they're traded?

DJ Gallo

  (12:09 PM)

My dear mother was kind enough to buy me one of those digital picture frames. So I can just rotate all the old players out when they get traded. Does anyone have a good, high-res photo of Jeff Clement I can have? (No, I didn't think so.)

dale (cincinnati, oh)

you are planning your bachelor party in las vegas. in honor of the overnight success of "the hangover," you decide to bring three dudes and drug them into true inhibition. which three athletes do you choose?

DJ Gallo

  (12:10 PM)

I'd probably just save money and bring along three athletes who are already self-medicated into true inhibition. That leaves more money for me to gamble with.

Craig (Stafford, Va)

DJ, Who is the best coach in the NFC East and why?

DJ Gallo

  (12:13 PM)

Let's look at the candidates. Jim Zorn can really wear a pair of tight, baseball shorts well. Wade Phillips is great at holding a job until a better candidate is available. Andy Reid has taken many talented teams to NFC Championship Games. Tom Coughlin has actually won a Super Bowl with a marginally talented team ... and for bonus points did it without any credit going to Tiki Barber or Jeremy Shockey. So I'll go Coughlin. Also, I DEMAND PUNCTUALITY!!!

Jared (Virginia Beach)

When are writing another book? I need more toilet paper

DJ Gallo

  (12:15 PM)

I hope you are extremely constipated. Almost fatally constipated. Because it's not coming out until February '10.

Hobo (Train Station, Anywhere)

My WiFi is about to go out... will you model our hobo-themed turtleneck/knapsack?

DJ Gallo

  (12:16 PM)

Now I know you're not a real hobo. Hobos don't have access to WiFi. Hobos use carrier pigeons. Only they first kill and eat the pigeon's meet. Then they write a message on a rag, tie it to the pigeon's carcass and then throw it in the direction of the intended recipient.

Craig (Stafford, Va)

is this Sports Nation or the Food Network

Chris Hansen (New York)

I recently hinted on my Facebook page that "To Catch a Predator" might be coming back. The jig is up, Gallo.

DJ Gallo

  (12:19 PM)

Oh, I don't think so, Hansen. My question is: Where have you been all this time the show has been on hiatus? Doing some "research"? Hiking the Appalachian Trail with a Boy Scout troop, Hansen?! Out with it! Admit it!

Kris (Baltimore)

DJ, how do you think T.O will destroy the Bill's locker room?

DJ Gallo

  (12:20 PM)

I think he'll be on his best behavior this year. Really. I think Buffalo's demise will be when they try to run plays and his teammates stop him to get an autograph. They don't see a lot of stars up there in suburban Toronto.

Jim (Houston, TX)

Cincinnati last had riots in 2001. How long until Chad OchoCinco spearheads the next riot... but from the comfort of his own living room... and only through Twitter.

DJ Gallo

  (12:22 PM)

Much of the political uprising in Iran was fueled by Twitter. I almost wish for a revolution here just to read some of the intellectual gems Ochocinco would tweet.

Ed Hochuli (Chat Ref)

We've got a 5 yard delay of chat penalty on DJ Gallo. We're going to need you to pick up the chat pace. Repeat 2nd down.

Jim (Frederick)

Any word on if the Pirates are still charging full price at the gate or should I just be happy with a Jason Kendall bobblehead they're using behind homeplate?

DJ Gallo

  (12:23 PM)

You might have something there. A Jason Kendall bobblehead would spend less tie on the DL than Ryan Doumit. I'm passing this idea onto Neil Huntington.

Mike (Charlotte)

Over/Under on whether Steve Smith punches Peppers and/or Jake while in camp? Also, who has the better inter-conference record at the end of the year, the AFC East or the NFC South?

DJ Gallo

  (12:25 PM)

I still say that Steve Smith should be suspended if he does NOT punch Jake Delhomme this camp. Or at least the front office exec responsible for giving Delhomme a contract extension. These are the things that make the average fan think they could be a successful sports GM. And for good reason.

Dave (Alexandria, VA)

Do you have any advice on starting a Twitter site? Considering you have two mildly successful pages of your own and all.

DJ Gallo

  (12:27 PM)

You mean @thatdjgallo and @sportspickle ?? "Mildly" successful?!?! Ha! (Double-checks followers ...) Why, ... what an accurate description! Advice: You know that part of Twitter where it says "What are you doing?" where you write something? Ignore that. No one cares what you are doing.

dale (cincinnati, oh)

boxer rob newbiggin is getting a sex change, and as mercedes, wants to box women. a) should he be able to? and b) should he have to change his last name also?

DJ Gallo

  (12:29 PM)

This just sounds like someone who likes to abuse women but found a loophole in the system. So... a) No. and b) Yes. Because Newbiggin has to be a fake name to begin with.

Jack Wilson (elsewhere)

Free at last! Thank God Almighty we are free at last!

DJ Gallo

  (12:30 PM)

I think MLK dreamed a lot bigger than playing for the Mariners. Sorry, Jack.

Chris (Phoenix)

Hey Deej, serious question here....Where do you get off?

Matthew (Bogota, NJ)

If it ever comes out that Ken Griffey Jr. also used steroids do you think the MLB should invest in a Deneuralizer from Men In Black and completely erase all of our memories of this past baseball era?

DJ Gallo

  (12:31 PM)

Eh, I don't think anyone cares. But if it ever comes out that Ken Griffey, Jr. used steroids, I think he should sue the manufacturer. Because they didn't work.

Kenny M (Boston)

How awesome would a Lakers/Celtics Finals series be??????!!!!!!!!!!! Who's ur pick??

DJ Gallo

  (12:33 PM)

As awesomely anti-climactic as the Finals was two years ago. My pick for the winner: Boston/LA metro areas. My pick for the loser: the rest of us.

Kevin (Cleveland)

Are you a real DJ? Like a [wikki-wikki-wakka] DJ, or just an acronym'd guy?

DJ Gallo

  (12:34 PM)

Just an acronym'd guy. But, oddly enough, my parents named me Disc Jockey Gallo. Weird, huh?

Matt (Houston Tx)

DJ - as Texas fan, should I be sending Sam Bradford little hats and chihuahuas?

DJ Gallo

  (12:36 PM)

Tom Brady needs to start hosting a football camp.9:00 a.m. -- check-in; stretching9:30 a.m. -- biking with tiny dogs in your front basket10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. -- SHOP-PING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stacey (Pittsburgh)

DJ you are my hero! Someday I'm going to marry either you or Ben Roethlisberger. He has a burger named after him and two Super Bowl rings. What do you have that might give you the edge in beating him out for my hand in marriage?

DJ Gallo

  (12:37 PM)

When I ride my bike, I wear a helmet AND use training wheels. I win.

Dave (Alexandria, VA)

Which SEC quarterback has a more embarrassing penis story? Tim Tebow and his circumcisions or Joe Cox and his Sporting News centerfold?

DJ Gallo

  (12:39 PM)

That was quite the unfortunate photo spread. Although, maybe Joe was just trying to reaffirm his brand. I mean, his name is Cox. And at closer inspection ... yep, it appears Joe grew up poor in Indonesia around the time Tebow was there.

Jon Simpleminds (1985)

Hey, don't you forget about me

Rob (Boston)

I'm kind of hungry. What is it about you that makes me crave a sandwich?

DJ Gallo

  (12:41 PM)

I have no i-sandwich-dea. I guess it's some-sandwich-thing about my an-sandwich-swers to the question-sandwich-s.

Chris (Phoenix)

I'm 31, when can I expect to stop thinking Najeh Davenport jokes are funny?

DJ Gallo

  (12:42 PM)

Never. That's why it's a shame that Najeh is out of the league now. It should really be a league rule that the first team to get eliminated from playoff contention has to sign him just for the jokes.

Adam (Jersey)

Tampa Bay is bringing back the creamsicle jerseys for a game this year -- What are your thoughts on Bucco Bruce?

DJ Gallo

  (12:44 PM)

It's 2009. I just hope Bucco Bruce is ready to be more open. It's time for a mascot to take that step. I will support him. I hope you will, too.

Jim (Houston, TX)

My friend just moved to Cincinnati against his better judgment and my strong advice. I've requested that he tweet as much as Chad OchoCinco... how much time will he actually have left in the day to keep his new job?

DJ Gallo

  (12:45 PM)

As long as he also has a job in which he only really has to work every Sunday for three hours, he should be fine.

Bernadette (Clearance, I mean Cleveland, OH)

I've gathered from previous columns that your a Pittsburgh fan, and I am from the land of MLB salary dumping. How long do we have to wait to see which young genius - Huntington or Shapiro - did a better job? Will humans still be wandering the earth?

DJ Gallo

  (12:47 PM)

Well, Shapiro has already rebuilt that franchise once. The jury is still out on Huntington (although I like what he's doing so far). I'm sure the nation can't wait to see the Indians and Pirates play every three years in interleague action? AM I RIGHT?!

Tony Romo (Dallas)

Hypothetically--if the girl I just dumped bought me a $100,000 boat--am I required to give it back--and if not--is it in bad form to take out six of her friends in bikinis in the boat she bought me?

DJ Gallo

  (12:49 PM)

You should do with your boat like you reportedly did with your car. Just take her out for a drive and then stop the boat and tell her to get out. Don't worry. She'll be fine. She has flotation devices. (<--- That last sentence was sent to me by Joe Simpson. Honest.)

Dick (Vegas)

I can't believe someone still goes by the name "Bernadette"......

Nick (Pittsburgh)

How about James Harrison rolling into training camp in a Smart car?

DJ Gallo

  (12:51 PM)

I hadn't heard that. Easier to navigate the crowded streets of Latrobe, I guess.

Justin (Chicago)

I used to hate you and think you were a tool. After this chat, and maybe 1 other chat, I still think you are a tool, but with some humor. Congrats, you've gone from a 1 out of 10 to a 3 out of 10 in my book.

DJ Gallo

  (12:52 PM)

Thanks so much! You have no idea how much your opinion means to me. (Answer key: it's very little.)

Brett (San Diego)

Did Cleveland just claim as land of salary dumping? Have you not heard of the Padres? I mean, yeah, I live in San Diego and not Cleveland so at least i got that, but i also have to put up with watching a AA team every day

DJ Gallo

  (12:53 PM)

I'm just angry the Padres ruined the comedy screenplay I was working on about a pro baseball team that was broken apart due to the divorce of the team owner. I guess I neeed to make it more absurdist.

Stacey (Pittsburgh)

You're right, I'll marry you. But before I do, I have one request that you have to fulfill for me. Can you grow dreadlocks that look as good as Troy Polamalu's? This could be a deal-breaker.

DJ Gallo

  (12:55 PM)

Well, my hair is currently about a quarter of an inch. What do you say we get engaged for now, I'll grow it out and then we can decide in a 6 or 7 years? Also, let's make out.

Brookes (Atlanta)

Is Michael Crabtree holding out for a solid gold toilet or $300 million?

DJ Gallo

  (12:56 PM)

Looks like the Raiders were right to draft Heyward-Bey from Maryland before Crabtree. (No, I'm just kidding. That was still incredibly stupid.)

Justin (Chicago)

Well, if you're a columnist/writer, the opinion of your readers, or could-be readers, should be pretty important.

DJ Gallo

  (12:57 PM)

Oh. Good point. Well, in that case, I sincerely do care.

dan (pennsylvania)

How many years until andrew mccutcheon and garrett jones are battling it out for the triple crown?

DJ Gallo

  (12:58 PM)

Yes We Can.

Matt (IN)

See, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum from Justin. I used to think you were cool and your chats great, but you've been stinking up the joint for quite awhile now. Congrats, you've gone from a 3 out of 10 to a 1 out of 10 in my book.

DJ Gallo

  (12:58 PM)

See, now that one hurts because I had just started really carrying thanks to Justin from Chicago's good advice.

Barack Obama (DC)

I'm afraid SportsNation will no longer be covered under my health care plan.

DJ Gallo

  (12:59 PM)

And that should have been "caring" not "carrying." The tears are making my keyboard quite slick.

Brian (Lexington, KY)

If you were cool and your chats great and only got a 3/10, what does it take for Matt to rate someone a 10?

DJ Gallo

  (12:59 PM)

Matt?

dan (oxford, ohio)

I'm a Pirates fan. I'm not exactly sure why, but I actually like the Pirates' lineup better than I did before they made those 74 trades. Your thoughts?

DJ Gallo

  (1:01 PM)

There in a much, much better place than they were two years ago. Now they just need some of their new 74 prospects to pan out. And statistically -- even with Pirates math -- that has to happen. Now they just need to please the casual Pirates fan by signing someone awesome like Jeromy Burnitz or Derek Bell.

Matt (IN)

Ok, dangit, I'm sorry. I can't quit you DJ Gallo

mike (pittsburg)

is having jeff karstens as the face of your franchise a good thing?

DJ Gallo

  (1:03 PM)

I think these trades at least gave Karstens a beard. A beard that can hide his lack of chin.

DJ Gallo

  (1:03 PM)

I think these trades at least gave Karstens a beard. A beard that can hide his lack of chin.

Brandon (Harrisburg, PA)

"There in a much, much better place than they were two years ago." "There" in a much better place?! C'mon, DJ, you're better than that.

DJ Gallo

  (1:04 PM)

This is similar to many of the e-mails I get from readers, that end like this: "Your stupid." I wish I was kidding.

Bob (Seattle)

Hey - it's that time of the year again. Discovery's running their annual Snark Week!Who do you have in the 10 deadliest snarks pool? Keith Olbermann, Dennis Miller, yourself?

DJ Gallo

  (1:05 PM)

Hmmm. Idiotic blowhards of the left AND the right! I can be the guy in the middle! It's time we have a third party.

john (panama city bch, fl)

Idiots...it's spelled "ur stoopid"

Manny (LA)

Do you have any recommendations for a good breast pump?

Brett Smith (la habra, ca)

When do we hear a new update about "Scrapplebees"?

DJ Gallo

  (1:07 PM)

Unfortunately, there's nothing new to report. Scrapplebees is still in Chapter 11 thanks to Lenny Dykstra being the CFO. Which is a shame. Because I could really go for a White Receiver Truffle Cake right now.

Tim Tebow (FL)

Would Scrapplebees have a Tebow's Virgin Pina Colada?

DJ Gallo

  (1:08 PM)

Hey, all credit for Tebow for practicing what he preaches. But with today's shocking revelation that he is nearsighted ... I'm a bit worried he's going to end up with an ugger.

Bob (Seattle)

Garrett Jones - Shane Spencer or Kevin Maas?

DJ Gallo

  (1:09 PM)

c) Chris Shelton ... No, I kid. I kid. He's the greatest player ever. (Tied with Andrew McCutchen, of course.)

john (panama city bch, fl)

Tebow might a dessert- Humble Pie...ROLL TIDE (this year)

DJ Gallo

  (1:10 PM)

Ohhhhhhhhhhh ... dessert smack.

Jim (Houston, TX)

Ummm... if Tim's nearsighted... what happened to all those kids in Southeast Asia? This might require a "where are they now?" special

DJ Gallo

  (1:12 PM)

Common mistake, Jim. Nearsighted means you can see things that are near. Those kids are fine (outside of the fact that a non-licensed "doctor" was slicing them). Unless he was doing it from afar by chucking scalpels at them. And, who knows ... foreign countries have some weird reality shows.

David Ortiz (here)

I'm not taking steroids anymore, DJ. I mean, the team had 23 hits yesterday and I had none of them. I'm clean now.

dan (harrisburg, pa)

could you post this question at the very end of the chat and let us all know how many questions were asked about stephon marbury? It is very pertinent information and I think I can speak for everybody when I say we all would love to know. Thank you.

DJ Gallo

  (1:14 PM)

None. Unbelievably ... none. I guess everyone is over on Marbury's ustream watching him ... communicate with his ... fans. (Please, someone who knows Stephon Marbury, stage an intervention. I'm not joking. This is the only thing I'm not joking about. Get the man some help.)

DJ Gallo

  (1:17 PM)

Okay, dear ones. I'm done. Have a good day. I'm going to continue watching me some Monday NASCAR. Don't look now, but there's a STOPPAGE!