Chat with Bill Simmons
Welcome to SportsNation! On Friday, the one and only Sports Guy, aka Bill Simmons, enters the chat world to see what's on your mind.
Bill is ready to discuss the Winter Olympics, curling cougars, LeBron's future home, the 2010 NBA title picture, March Madness, his recent column about fixing the NBA.
Send your questions now and join Simmons at noon ET Friday!
Buzzmaster (11:33 AM)
The Sports Guy aka Bill Simmons stops by SportsNation at noon to answer whatever is on your mind.
It's only right to start with a moment of silence for Boner Stabone
Bill Simmons (12:02 PM)
All right, let's get started. Thanks to everyone for joining.
Bill, with a gun to your head right now...who's the 2009-2010 NBA Champ?
Bill Simmons (12:04 PM)
The Cavs. That team has an answer for everything - they can go fast, slow, big, small, doesn't matter. The only guy who can stop them is Mike Brown. And don't put it past him
Ron (somewhere cold)
Who's the better 2nd pick overall? Thabeet or Darko?
Bill Simmons (12:06 PM)
I guess the question is this: if the D-League existed in 2004, would Darko have been demoted there? My answer is: yes. So I'd still say Darko. They passed up Melo-Bosh-Wade in succession for him. Memphis passed up Harden-Tyreke-Rubio.
Look into your crystal ball and sort out where the big free agents are going this summer!
Bill Simmons (12:08 PM)
If I had to guess at gunpoint: LeBron and Bosh (Chicago); Wade and Amare (Miami); David Lee, Joe Johnson (New York); Rudy Gay (Clippers).
Bill Simmons (12:10 PM)
Forgot about Boozer: We'll give him to Dallas in a sign and trade for Dampier's contract that can be waived and other goodies.
Do you think Denver has a good chance of beating the Lakers or the Cavs with Melo and a good scoring bench
Bill Simmons (12:12 PM)
Absolutely. They're one big body short, but other than that, they have everything I'm looking for in a legit contender. My 2 questions are these...
Bill Simmons (12:13 PM)
1) When is Chauncey going to realize that he hasn't been Mr. Big Shot in about 4 years? When he waved Melo off vs. Cleveland last week to brick a game-winner, I was in shock. Melo has to get the ball in all big situations. So until they solve that alpha dog issue, I can't buy in.
Bill Simmons (12:14 PM)
2) George Karl teams just have a habit of beating themselves in dumb ways in big playoff series. I worry about them playing a 7 game series against LAL in which they'd win 3 and give away 2 more... a little like the 2002 Kings.
Drew (Wichita, KS)
What did you think of Wojokasldf;dhgf;adl column about LeBron, Wade, and Bosh coming together in NYC?
Bill Simmons (12:17 PM)
He ignored 2 big points. First, you can't have LeBron and Wade on the same team - it would be like the 2010 All Star Game all over again. No team has ever won a title that didn't know who The Man was on the team. it wouldn't work. I don't think Wade would take a back seat and neither would LeBron obviously. More importantly, to expect these guys to give up that much money to play together is just not realistic. Athletes don't leave that kind of money on the table.
Bill Simmons (12:18 PM)
The only scenario in which the Knicks (or anyone) could get 3 guys is if it were 3 Nike guys. For instance, Bosh-LeBron-Joe Johnson could work - they'd take less money but Nike could agree to build a $100 million compaign around "The New Big Three" and make up the difference that way. Yes, that would be legal.
Landon Donovan playing great for Everton. Ready to jinx it for him?
Bill Simmons (12:19 PM)
It's very tough to root for anyone but Everton right now in EPL when they have Donovan and Tim Howard. I am an EPL sports bigamist - like Everton and Spurs.
Barrie (Upper East Side)
ENOUGH NBA says your female fans. Tell us what you think about LOST Season 6! :)
Bill Simmons (12:20 PM)
I'm starting to feel like it's the last minute of the Sopranos, only it's happening over the course of 4 months.
Rasheed (Boston, MA)
Do you know where the weight room is?
Bill Simmons (12:21 PM)
Go thru that door and take a left. Also, please stop at the salad bar.
Tiller's Ulcer (Dallas)
In Dallas, there are local reporters who claim that Cuban/Donnie purposely structured Dampier's contract to use for this Summer (believable). What my friends and I debate though, is there any shot of the big 4 FA's just DEMANDING to play in Dallas w/ Kidd and Dirk, and the Mavs using Damp and Caron as sign and trade? As in, can a 3 year run in Dallas be appealing enough for those guys?
Bill Simmons (12:22 PM)
Dallas is the sleeping giant this summer. Big city, Cuban, no state tax, Damp's contract for sign and trade purposes (for instance, if LeBron decided, I AM PLAYING IN DALLAS, Dallas could offer Damp's contract, Butler, $3 million and the French rookie.
Bill Simmons (12:24 PM)
One other LeBron/Dallas wrinkle: They could play 6-8 regular season games and a couple of playoff games in the football stadium. Cuban mentioned this 2 days after the All Star Game... didnt mention LeBron specifically, just something about 'enticing free agents' that way. Hmmmmm.
Bill Simmons (12:25 PM)
FYI: They changed ESPN's chat engine since the last time I did one. It's less efficient, put it that way. Sorry for the delays.
Thoughts on the Canadian women boozing it up on the ice after the gold medal game?
Bill Simmons (12:25 PM)
I loved it. I am all for booze celebrations after championships. I want the Canadian curlers to do keg stands after they win today
Why isn't the no state tax brought up more often. Do NBA players have to pay taxes in every state they play in prorated, or does Miami, Houston and Dallas have an after tax salary cap extension?
Bill Simmons (12:27 PM)
It's a great question. For instance, let's say Dallas and Cleve did that sign and trade that I just mentioned. LeBron could make 6 years at the max... only he'd be making it in Texas. That's his biggest money bonanza by far. And Dallas is the only team that has real sign and trade assets. The ability to waive Dampier's contract before the start of the season is a major major asset.
Bill Simmons (12:29 PM)
Definitely Ali for next Bachelorette. That's why they rigged that whole "she has to choose between Jake and her job!" episode - they told her, "Hey, if you do this and walk away from Jake, you're the next Bachelorette." I am convinced.
Mike (San Diego)
You realize that Cavs fans saw your idea of what they'd get back for LeBron and threw up in their mouth a little, right? I'd call that a big pot of poop gumbo!
Bill Simmons (12:31 PM)
But if LeBron says, "Look, I am going to Dallas and that's how this is going to play out," what can Cleveland do? Everyone keeps forgetting that LeBron will decide where he plays this summer - cap space doesn't matter. if he wants to play in Boston, then it will be Boston. Dallas, it's Dallas. Lakers, it's the Lakers. Doesn't matter. He is holding the cards.
Do you think James on Survivor is having serious roid-rage? and how long before he kills someone?
Bill Simmons (12:32 PM)
James has gone heel like nobody we've seen since Hollywood Hulk Hogan. What happened to that guy? I think so many people made fun of him about getting voted off with 2 Idols in his pocket that last time that he went crazy.
Bill Simmons (12:35 PM)
Ok... Cavs (5-2)... Bulls (5-2)... Knicks (7-2)... Mavs (5-1)... Clips (10-1)... Nets (12-1)... Rockets (25-1)... Lakers (25-1)... Celtics (100-1).
Are you going to buy Jay McGwire's book?
Bill Simmons (12:36 PM)
Absolutely not. But I thought McGwire's response was funny. "I'm not gonna dignify that, I've already answered questions about this." You have? Your bro said you gained 30 pounds of muscle, but you said you only did steroids to stay healthy... um... I still have questions, Big Mac.
If giving the chance (assuming ESPN would let you take 39 days off), would you do SURVIVOR?
Bill Simmons (12:37 PM)
I'd be awful on Survivor - I wear contac lens, my allergies would bother me, and I turn into a homocidal maniac if I don't eat.
Bill Simmons (12:38 PM)
I have been pushing my wife to do Survivor. She'd dominate the challenges but eventually get kicked off because she turns into a homicidal ax murdering serial killer if she doesn't eat.
Bill Simmons (12:39 PM)
Basically, if one of us ever kills the other, just assumes it was because we didn't eat.
Matt K (NJ)
Did you think the Knicks deadline moves were effective or short-sighted? (Throw in token unprovoked shot at Kareem because we are talking about the NBA)
Bill Simmons (12:40 PM)
Kareem is a ninny. Look, the Knicks did what they had to do - their fans are on board, they needed to play the "illusion of regret" card and that's what needed to happen. The only thing that confused me was that Houston was the only suitor for Jefferies' contract. Where was Memphis? Where was Minnesota? Where were the OKC Hijackers? Plus, it's not like Jefferies sucks - he's a very good defensive player.
Matt I (Cincinnati, Ohio)
Your Durant crush has to be at an all time high. Can the Zombies win a playoff series?
Bill Simmons (12:42 PM)
Depends on what seed they get. This week cooled me on their Round 1 chances just a little - they choked away the Suns game, then the Spurs pulled the "old dog teaching the young buck new tricks" routine on them. You forget how young they are and how hard it is to make the leap from "wait, we're good!" to "all right, we gotta be good every night." Same thing that happened to Portland last spring.
USA hockey this afternoon, are you in?
Bill Simmons (12:43 PM)
Yes! In fact, I panicked because I read the start time wrong and thought this chat was going head to head against it - it would have taken the Simmons Chat Jinx to new heights, I would have been deported.
Patrick B (NC)
Just finished "Outliers". Which NBA player would be least likely to show up in "Outliers II"?
Bill Simmons (12:44 PM)
Mike (San Diego)
If there was a line in Vegas of LeBron career MVPs vs Durant career scoring titles and the line was LeBron MVPs -1 1/2, which side are you betting?
Bill Simmons (12:45 PM)
Durant's scoring titles. I think he has 7-8 in him easy. It's Year 3 and he's already at 30PPG. He will settle somewhere between 34-35 PPG as he hits his mid-20's and his 3FG goes up. Every year. Nobody is beating that.
Who will be the next MLB player to be accused of using PED's
Bill Simmons (12:45 PM)
Ben (New York)
Do you think the Red Sox will even make the playoffs this year?
Bill Simmons (12:47 PM)
I've talked myself into the 2010 Red Sox. Gotta say, I liked what they did - the more I'm looking at it, it's like the opposite of what the Pats did. This was a transition year for them (a little anyway) and they found a way to keep this year's team competitive while saving money flexibility for 2011 and beyond and also keeping the door open for an Adrian Gonzalez trade. Only question is whether this team will be fun to watch. We're headed for a lot of 2-1 and 3-2 games. Not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just not used to that for 6 months.
Ryan (Southborough MA)
Odds David Ortiz gets at least 30 HRs and 100 RBIs next year?
Bill Simmons (12:48 PM)
I'd say even. His power numbers for June-July-Aug-Sept were basically there. By the way, we're not allowed to discuss RBI anymore - the stat nazis have declared that they no longer matter.
You wrote Damon off as on his way to washed up when he joined the Yankees. How do you feel he will contribute in Detroit?
Bill Simmons (12:50 PM)
I thought he was the best winter bargain when you consider Abreu got 2 years for $19 million... Damon got 1 year for $8 million... which guy would you rather have? I wish the Sox had him at that price over Mike Cameron.
Richard Brown (lawrence, ks)
How many more teams will Drew Gooden play for before his career is over?
Bill Simmons (12:51 PM)
He's already at nine! That's the underrated stat of 2010. And if the Clips buy him out, it could be 10 by the spring. And he's only 28. He's the new go-to guy for the "gets passed around like a bong" joke.
Elliott (Baton Rouge)
What's your favorite generic Spring Training story? I love the guy who "hasn't felt this good in years!" even though he's coming off a season where he hit .220.
Bill Simmons (12:52 PM)
I wrote a whole column about this once in 2002. http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020219
Bill Simmons (12:52 PM)
My favorite is "The Guy Who Always Wanted To Play Here." That's a Boston staple. Always good for a mini-feature in the Globe.
If you owned the Celtics, what would be the first change you'd make?
Bill Simmons (12:53 PM)
I would plant 20 pounds of pot iN Rasheed Wallace's trunk, then make an anonymous tip to the police.
Matt (Fort Worth)
Is it possible PEDs are being used in the NBA?
Bill Simmons (12:54 PM)
Very. Extremely. I would cause a digital riot if I gave my complete arsenal of opinions on this. Let's move on.
If you had your choice of owning the Patriots, red sox, bruins, or celtics, which would you choose?
Bill Simmons (12:56 PM)
Come on... Red Sox! What could be better than owning a big market baseball team? You'd get to go to 81 home games per year, sit in the first row and have a gigantic competitive advantage over 80% of the league. Sign me up.
2 college students (Chicago)
MR SIMMONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would like you to know we are skipping our 5 courses today to participate in this live chat with you. Our question is: Why do you like Gallinari so much? Is it because he lives by the GTL code?
Bill Simmons (12:56 PM)
Of course. And he can make his own meat sauce.
How would you define sports hell?
Bill Simmons (12:57 PM)
Cleveland if they lose the 2010 title and then LeBron leaves. I actually think we might see fire and brimstone if that happens.
When will the Celtics realize that in addition to Garnett, Pierce and Allen getting older that Doc Rivers isn't a very good coach
Bill Simmons (12:59 PM)
I thought he did a terrific job in the last 2 rounds of the 2008 Playoffs. But it's easy to forget that, if PJ Brown didn't get hot in the last quarter of Game 7, Doc Rivers would have been Jeff Van Gundy's partner these last 2 seasons on ABC and ESPN. It's true.
Matt (Ithaca, NY)
Heard your podcast with JackO, did anyone explain to you after how curling is actually scored? (diiferent coloured rings don't earn different amounts of points) Or were you joking?
Bill Simmons (1:00 PM)
I was actually kidding. my plan was to convince him that this whole fake scoring system existed, but the prob was, as we were talking about it, something else got us sidetracked and I forgot to go back to it... it was actually funny how it turned out, we sound like 2 idiots.
sports fan (BC)
where's the curglar discussion??
Bill Simmons (1:01 PM)
Let's start one! I need a run of curling and Curlgar questions.
Why do other teams seem convinced they have a realistic shot at signing Zydrunas Ilgauskas? Just because one side is interested doesn't make it mutual
Bill Simmons (1:03 PM)
A few mailbags ago, I remember writing a riff about "Stories That Just Need To Stop Being Covered Until We Get An Official Answer Because They're So Freaking Boring To Begin With." I think this qualifies. Just tell us when Z signs, and where. if he's playing more than 12 mins a game for your team in the playoffs, you're going home before mid-June.
Shivam Amin (North Royalton, OH)
In honor of Boner Stabone, who would be your all-time top 3 favorite tv best friends?? (i.e. Boner Stabone to Mike Seaver, Shawn Hunter to Cory Matthews)
Bill Simmons (1:05 PM)
1. George Kostanza; 2. Steve Sanders; 3. Cliff Klaven; 4. Shawn Hunter; 5. Snoop.
Connor (Portland, ME)
Bill, your thoughts on the potential Bret Hart-Vince McMahon showdown at WrestleMania XXVI?
Bill Simmons (1:07 PM)
I like it. I've been DVR-ing wrestling every week since the Bret Hart comeback and zooming through it. Did we make enough about the fact that The Miz is a legitimate WWE star now? I feel like this is an underrated story. He's the most successful MTV reality guy ever... of course, that's like calling someone "the most successful janitor ever" or something, but still.
Frank C. (CANADA)
21 million of Canada's population of 33 million watched the Canada Russia hockey game on tuesday. That's almost 70% of the population! What telecast can you think of that can capture 70% of the State's population?
Bill Simmons (1:08 PM)
You just inspired Gary Bettman to block more failing American teams from moving there.
You and ESPN pretty much worship the ground LeBron walks on. You gotta admit this guy still has work to do. His free throw percentage is dropping again, he can't hit 3's (yet continues to take them over over in big situations) and his one-on-one defense is overrated. Melo killed him last week. No way LBJ wins a title without another STAR.
Bill Simmons (1:09 PM)
Read more of Josh's LeBron's take at www.nitpick.com.
Bill Simmons (1:11 PM)
BTW, LeBron has a chance to become the first player ever to win "Player of the Month" for all six regular season months. He's averaging 32.3 PPG, 10.7 APG, 6.9 RPG and shooting 50% in February. You think we should be underplaying this?
The Canadian Curlgar is by far the leader in the clubhouse, but after a few beers on a Friday night, the sisters from Denmark become strangely attractive. Thoughts?
Bill Simmons (1:11 PM)
Strangely? How bout, "undeniably!"
Mukund (Ames, IA)
What do you think about the Winter Olympics in regard to the fact that all of the sports are incredibly specialized and open to a select few people who happen to have access to say, a bobsled track?
Bill Simmons (1:14 PM)
My only question with the Winter Olympics is why parents would choose to push their kids to be an Olympian in the first place. For instance, my daughter loves ice skating and she'd be great at it. But why the hell would I want to wake up at 5AM for the next 10 years so she could skate, and why would I want that life for her? Hey, here's your upside - there's a 0.000000000002 percent chance you might win a medal. That just seems insane to me. I'd rather my daughter was doing more important things, like watching Max and Ruby.
Eddie (Fort Worth)
Is Tiger ever going to be the same golfer?
Bill Simmons (1:16 PM)
To me, that's a much bigger question than "Where is LeBron going?" Tiger's comeback is going to be the most fascinating running sports story of my lifetime. I really believe that. We only get a handful of truly transcendent athletes per lifetime, he's one of them, and yet, none of them have ever been tested this way.
Bill Simmons (1:17 PM)
The only thing that comes close: When Ali returned from 4 years of boxing exile for refusing to serve in Vietnam.
Bill Simmons (1:19 PM)
The top-2 picks are John Wall and Evan Turner in some order. Wall has the inside track, but Turner is gaining on him and could make it a 50/50 thing with a monster March Madness (I think he's the next Wade, personally). So you're No. 3, DeMarcus. And yet, I wouldn't go near you. You frighten me. I would trade down or trade the pick. It's nothing personally. I just don't trust you to keep your head on your shoulders. I mean, not literally... but you know what I mean. I want to be the GM who trades for you for 20 cents on the dollar in 2018 after you're more mature.
Any chance you could plant some of that pot in Richard Jefferson's trunk as well? Who has a worse contract next season than RJ?
Bill Simmons (1:20 PM)
Of course! Any other requests? Milwaukee, can we send some for Michael Redd's car? What about Eddy Curry's SUV, New York?
Will anybody remember me in six months if I DON'T put out a sex tape?
Bill Simmons (1:21 PM)
Nope. Borrow a camera.
Elton Brand (Philly)
Don't forget me!
John Wall (Kentucky)
People think DeMarcus Cousins is the only person with personality issues on our team. I know I'm too talented not to go number one, but you understand I'm a little off right?
Bill Simmons (1:21 PM)
Yes. Well aware. That's why Evan Turner is gaining on you. Well, that and the fact that Turner is practically averaging a triple-double every night.
Really Bill? Ali coming back to win the title after being banned from the sport for religious convictions that prevented him from serving in a war that continues to effect the course of American history today, "comes close" to Tiger missing 5 months for a cavalcade of bimbos and a staged sex rehab?
Bill Simmons (1:24 PM)
Here's the big difference though: Everyone was rooting for Ali. He never came even 10% close to facing the scrutiny, vitriol and 24/7 news cycle microscope that Tiger will face.
Wade is a Nike guy.
Bill Simmons (1:25 PM)
You're right. He switched last summer, I forgot. So yes, that's the only way Wade-LeBron-Bosh could happen - they take less money from NYK, but Nike makes up for it with a $100 million mega-campaign centered around them being the new superheroes of Gotham or something. Personally, I think Nike would be better off spending that money on my adopted son Kevin Durant.
Doug (So Cal)
How nervous are you about John Lackey folding under the pressure of playing for intense fans and media of Boston, rather than the laid back Angel fans and an LA press that only follows the Dodgers? Are you ready for the 6-8 weeks on the IR, and the manufactured intensity that doesn't really help in big games (see recent Angel playoff series). Game 7 of the '02 World Series was awesome, but were you ever scared as a Red Sox fan of having to face him?
Bill Simmons (1:27 PM)
I gotta say, Angels fans have made me VERY nervous about the Lackey Era. None of them seemed sad that he left, all of them thought he got overpaid, and none of them seemed to trust him. I hate spending big money for a guy whose old fan base basically says, "Good riddance!" And I liked the Lackey signing. But this is stressing me out. Leave me alone, Angels fans.
I'm glad you've noticed Turner's play. Everyone just assumes he's below Wall But the kid BROKE his back, and missed 6 games. In his first game back he drops 30. His numbers are off the chart and he literally carries a big-time program (OSU) during much of the game. He also gets not rest as Matta has decided a bench is merely for sitting.
Bill Simmons (1:30 PM)
Check out Turner's game log - http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/player/gamelog?playerId=36135 The injury obviously didn't help matters, but this guy can play either guard spot and he's averaging 9.2 RPG in COLLEGE. It's ridiculous. The only downer for him is 3-point shooting. I am a huge huge huge fan. For him to come back from that back injury and play like he has was the most underrated college story. Huge heart. Plus, he knows Mark Titus.
Bill Simmons (1:31 PM)
That reminds me, my friend Kimmel wanted to have Titus (www.clubtrillion.com) on his show and NCAA rules prevented it. Does anything suck more than the NCAA? Coaches can recruit players, then ditch a school for another team and leave those recruits happening and it's fine... a funny benchwarmer on a Big 10 team wants to go on a talk show and he can't. Thanks for redefining the word "suck" NCAA.
Yes, I'm certain that in the early 1970s, a black man who refused to be called by his "slave name" was far better received by white America than Tiger is received in America today. Certain.
Bill Simmons (1:33 PM)
You don't know your Ali history. it's true that White America was against him in the mid-60's, but that shifted as America turned against Vietnam. By the time of the Ali-Frazier fight, Frazier was the "old guard" rep and Ali was the "new guard" rep. He had everyone under 35 rooting for him.
Totally agree with you on Turner...personally I'd take him number 1 and never look back, but hey, I like guys who can get a triple double every night out and, oh by the way, can come back from a BROKEN BACK within a couple of months (I'll take that over "tremendously athletic length every time)...speaking of the draft, how hilarious is going to be when Ed Davis goes 10 picks higher than Greg "I'm the Next Lamar Odom" Monroe?
Bill Simmons (1:34 PM)
It's going to be even more hilarious when both of them go ahead of Cole Aldrich. By the way, the most underrated lottery prospect right now is Xavier Henry. Best high school recruit, started off slow, everyone soured on him, he even fell out of Chad's top-15. Now he's coming on. That guy is a top-6 pick.
Bill, you have always been a HUGE supporter or HORSE at the all star game. What did you think of the debacle that was this years HORSE game.?
Bill Simmons (1:36 PM)
I'm done suggesting fixes for All-Star Weekend. They screw it up every year. If they really cared, they would create a committee to save it - a little like what they did for the Olympics post-2004 - and make an honest effort to make it entertaining. Their biggest mistake is burying the Rookie-Soph game on Friday. That should be the marquee Sat. night event.
Chris (Cayman Islands)
Bill my fiance wants to know what we are dancing too in our wedding - plus I have to be the only guy from the caymans asking you a question. If you could pick THE WORST possible first dance song for a wedding what would it be?
Bill Simmons (1:36 PM)
"Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.
You're tough on announcers, can you tell me how some TNT executive sleeps through the night knowing he has to wake up and sign a paycheck for Reggie Miller? It's got to kill him, right?
Bill Simmons (1:37 PM)
Whoops, posted that by accident. As far as you know.
How was the Eric Maynor deal not at all publicized. These are the types of moves that make good teams into great teams. The Zombie Sonics have legit backups in a couple of key positions. If they can land a big man in the next year or two they could be a as cohesive of a team as you can get in this day and age in sports.
Bill Simmons (1:39 PM)
A better question: how does Ty Lawson and Maynor fall to the bottom of the teens in last year's draft? Don't these GM's watch college basketball? Why even have a college basketball season then? Really, it's a newsflash that Ty Lawson is fast and a game-changer off the bench at the very worst? I had no idea!
David (Kalamazoo, MI)
Have you considered the possibility/likelihood of Tomlinson ending up a Pat? Belichick loves veterans who no one else wants.
Bill Simmons (1:41 PM)
I've considered it. If it's a choice between signing Tomlinson or signing an animal carcass that's rotting on the side of the road, obviously, I'd go with Tomlinson. I'd like to think we could do better. How many years in a row can they stick Brady with mediocre to sucky RB's? Ten? 12? Dillon in 2004 was the only good one he ever had.
Speaking of Mark Titus...you've seen the "Mr. Rainmaker" video on youtube haven't you? Coach Matta needs to find our guy some minutes!!!
Bill Simmons (1:42 PM)
It's a fantastic 4 minutes. I loved it. Surprised the NCAA didn't have him murdered for it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V6FCitvRUM
Why do I feel like Danilo "The Situation" Gallinari is nothing more than a glorified Jason Kapono?
Bill Simmons (1:42 PM)
Is that really his nickname? Because, if it is, I love it!
Would LOVE to hear your thoughts on Tony Kornheiser's suspension. Even though you probably can't. Ugh.
Bill Simmons (1:44 PM)
Sadly, I have to refrain. You're have to wait for my book, "Tuesdays With Korny" in 16 years.
Are you sick of the promos for "The Marriage Ref" yet? Not since "The Closer" have I hated a show that hasn't aired yet so much.
Bill Simmons (1:45 PM)
I agree. I hate the show so much and want it to fail so badly that I almost don't know what to do with myself.
Kornheiser topic brings me to an interesting question, if allowed to answer, which ESPN show host would you most like to work with and why?
Bill Simmons (1:47 PM)
I would love to host West Coast PTI with that chubby deviant fu manchu wearing Cuban lothario Dan LeBatard. Just stick us in the LA studio and let us go at it. Unfortunately he'd never move to LA and I'd never move to Miami. So we'll have to settle for sending each other sarcastic emails that you can't see.
Bill Simmons (1:48 PM)
By the way, I'd like to thank my son for waking us up today at 5:45 with his "Max and Ruby Max?" routine. He singlehandedly reduced the ceiling of this chat from an A-plus to a C-plus. Don't have kids. I'm telling you. Just be an aunt or an uncle.
jeff (san antonio)
Bill Simmons (1:50 PM)
She is the greatest. If ESPN was thrown into some sort of fantasy draft where we could only protect 10 of our people, and everyone else could be signed by other TV networks, she is my LeBron first pick.
Would you rather have sex with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or play horse with Kevin Durant?
Bill Simmons (1:50 PM)
Can I do these things at the same time?
Bill,I read everything you write including both books and every article and listen to every podcast. Other than my wife you have the most input in my life. I have a $3000 car repair bill on my car 2000 Ford. Should I buy a new one or repair the old one?
Bill Simmons (1:51 PM)
Thanks Sean! You should never spend that kind of money on car repairs for a 10 year old car. Just dump it and buy a new one or a newer one. It's a sunk cost. You own the Eddy Curry of cars right now.
noah (san francisco)
"A better question: how does Ty Lawson and Maynor fall to the bottom of the teens in last year's draft?"A fair question. But isn't a better question how Collison fell to the second round?
Bill Simmons (1:54 PM)
Also stupid. That draft was an apocalypse of bad logic. Thabeet at 2, Kahn passing up Steph Curry twice, Lawson and Maynor dropping below Hansbororough/Henderson/Clark... of course, nothing was dumber than the Knicks passing on Lawson to take a power forward who didn't even fit with the system they had when they were already paying their coach 6 mill a year. Donnie Walsh should be fired for that move alone.
what are the chances that Tiger returns in full eff-you mode for the masters?
Bill Simmons (1:56 PM)
Has to be at least 20-1 right now, right? We're only 5 weekends away. He'd need one comeback tournament beforehand. I just don't see it. Much better chance of him appearing on a Dr. Drew show on VH1.
What Dejuan Blair falling into the Spurs' hands in Round 2?
Bill Simmons (1:57 PM)
Yup, that was another one. Just plain moronic. He went 20 spots lower than he should have.
Rory Van Nostrand (Greenlawn NY)
Remember when you used to like baseball? Then the Sox won a World Series and you stopped caring?
Bill Simmons (1:58 PM)
We won two. And I still care.
What's Worse. A staute built to Bud Selig, or the NBA championship trophy being named after Larry o'Brien?
Bill Simmons (2:00 PM)
The Larry O'Brien trophy. By the way, I tweeted this yesterday but I'm saying it again... I think the Selig statue should have smaller statues of baseball players roiding up in front of it while the Selig statue looks the other way. And I think it should be blacked out every Saturday afternoon during baseball season.
Kevin (Bakersfield, CA )
Come on Bill, the Blair slippage was understandable. The guy has NO ACL's in EITHER leg! He's one bad landing away from being done for his career.
Bill Simmons (2:00 PM)
That's ridiculous. Name me the guy the Cavs took at No. 30. Seriously. Name him right now. How many people on this chat can name Cleveland's No. 30 pick. They basically said, "PASS."
Why has Ron Artest not been involved in a WWE match yet?
Bill Simmons (2:01 PM)
I... I don't know.
If LeBron leaves Cleveland, we will find a way to light Lake Erie on fire. The river was child's play.
Have you ever met Megan Fox? I feel like she is probably one of those "even more beautiful in person" celebrities.
Bill Simmons (2:04 PM)
Have not. But I have a good one for you, a new captain for the "Better Looking In Person" All-Stars. Last night I went to EW's Oscars party and Coach Taylor's wife from Friday Night Lights was there. She is pretty on the show we can all agree. In person? Fantastic. Just drop-dead pretty and her hair is great. Even the Sports Gal signed off on it. You know someone's beautiful when your wife says, "yes, she is beautiful." So I am making Connie Britton the captain of the 2010 Better Looking In Person All-Stars.
Col. Angus (Shady Thicket)
How could you expect the NBA GMs to make logical selections in last year's draft? It was the day Michael Jackson died!
I am shocked by all the attention to Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso....yes, they are decent looking women, but there has to be an "Olympic" hot scale. I mean, who are their competition? Female hockey players? Dare I say....female curlers?
Bill Simmons (2:06 PM)
Of course. You know how I have that running joke about Press Box Hot, Military Hot, Hospital Hot? You can DEFINITELY add Curling Hot and Winter Olympics Hot.
Wesley Johnson (Upstate NY)
Shouldn't I be considered as a top 3 pick? I'm the top player on arguably the best team in the Big East!
Bill Simmons (2:07 PM)
I like you, Wesley. You are easily transferrable - what you do in college is exactly what you will do in the pros, and you have a defined position. You're in the top-7 or 8 but you need to have a big tournament.
No more references to Friday Night Lights? Have you forgotten the "greatest sports-related show ever made"? Wondering how you're weighing in on Season 4--the new cast, Lion Pride, and if you've ever wanted to kick someone in the nads at much as Joe McCoy? Most importantly though, can Connie Britton get added to the Diane Lane All-Stars already?
Bill Simmons (2:10 PM)
Yes. Connie is on the team. I need to remake it as a 25-woman roster and include the following... Marisa Tomei, Elizabeth Hurley, Laura Linney, Monica Bellucci, Ashley Judd, Vanessa Marcil, Lori Loughlin and especially Shania Twain. The big question... does Sarah Palin (AKA, Gal Sharpton, as Whitlock called her) make it? Have heard multiple times from people who have been in the same room with her that she is VERY attractive.
Bill Simmons (2:11 PM)
PS: I loved Season 4 of FNL. Too many people haven't seen it yet to comment though.
James Harden (Tempe, AZ)
Hey Bill, how cool do you think it is to be me right now? I'm 20, I get to dress up like Erkel and sit in the front row on All-Star Saturday night with my new BFF Kevin Durant, and look cool as hell doing it. Not bad.
Bill Simmons (2:11 PM)
There is no way you're 20. You're 32.
Thoughts on LOST? Are you as confused as I am? Because ever episode has left me with a look on my face that would rival Wade Phillips or Andy Reid in the final 2 minutes of a playoff game.
Bill Simmons (2:12 PM)
So confusing, so many characters, so hard to follow... I guess the question is, "Do I want to watch a show that requires me to spend more time following it, researching it and figuring it out than if I had chosen to go back to high school and take AP History?"
Frank G (Big D)
Can you give me a REALLY good reason why I should stay on this chat since you haven't answered any of my questions & there's Curlgar action on right now as we speak?
Bill Simmons (2:13 PM)
I'm gonna say something dumb and get in trouble soon. It's usually right around the 135-minute mark when I snap and can't help myself.
Does CLE survive if they win it this year and Lebron still decides to leave?
Bill Simmons (2:15 PM)
That might be the most fascinating of the scenarios. The entire city of Cleveland would make the face that Affleck makes at the end of Good Will Hunting when he realizes that Damon left, only it would quickly turn into anger and hostility and get ugly.
Alex (New Orleans)
Epic fail for the Swiss. Shawn White look alike just did her best Sheed impression.
Bill Simmons (2:16 PM)
Yup. Swiss curlers just choked away the gold medal to China. Lack of curlgars kept me from being distracted during the chat.
Bill Simmons (2:17 PM)
I just tweeted during a chat. I think I just made internet history!
The Curlgar (Vancouver)
How do i not leave this oympics with a reality show?
Bronze Bill, Bronze
Bill Simmons (2:18 PM)
Yup - sorry, China won the bronze. Their matches always make me hungry for curling again in 2 hours.
What are your thoughts on the future of JJ Hickson. His talent is still a little raw, but is making huge progress in limited minutes in Cleveland.
Bill Simmons (2:20 PM)
It pisses me off that the Wizards didn't insist on getting him in the Jamison deal and Ernie Grunfeld should be disbarred as a GM for it. In fact, keeping Hickson was Cleveland's ONLY chance to keep LeBron - now, they can potentially sign and trade him with other stuff to Toronto for Bosh or Phoenix for Amare. Pisses me off. That was as bad as Chris Wallace hooking up LA with Gasol.
Scale of 1 to 10, how big of an idiot is Jake when he picks Vienna (as reported) over Tenley on The Bachelor?
Bill Simmons (2:21 PM)
I blame Chris Harrison. It's Chris Harrison's obligation to tell Jake, "Just so you know, she's a divorced Hooters waitress" before he gets down on a knee and proposes marriage.
Otto (Sheboygan, WI)
LeBatard bated his followers to badger you on Twitter to do PTI today. I assume that's not happening. So what would it take to get you on the show for a day?
Bill Simmons (2:24 PM)
I know, he's an idiot as I told him. I'm not going to break my PTI virginity by doing it by satellite where I'd have to stare into a camera wearing an ear piece. That would have been a debacle. I'm not ready to do PTI yet, I'm too competitive and I will suck the first few times, which will make me want to keep doing it, and then suddenly I'd be one of those guys who's using tanning cream and wearing half-open shirts while telling people that I'm on TV like LeBatard.
If beadle is so great, why did you leave her hanging when you appeared on Sportsnation to promote your book (which, I FINALLY finished by the way.) was your second to last chapter inspired by Space Jam?
Bill Simmons (2:27 PM)
It was a joke - she thought it was funny (I think). Her producer Jamie Horowitz told me to do something to mess with her. So don't blame me, blame his bad producing.
Will (Silver Spring, MD)
I just had Chik Fil A for lunch. Jealous?
Bill Simmons (2:28 PM)
Yopu just reminded me, I have a scoop for LA readers: The Carl's Jr. on Hollywood and Sunset is turning into a Chik Fil-A this summer. I will weigh 259 lbs by Christmas. I can't wait.
Forrest Gump week has been great on AMC. They even did a fake preview to make it look like a horror movie.... "tormented all his life... Hey Stupid!" Anyway, isn't the funniest moment of that movie when Forrest says "I'm not a smart man, but I KNOW what love is", then walks out and puts his hands on his hips and poses? I've done that move thousands of times while drunk, and it kills every time. Kinda like the "Oh wait" guy in Silence of the Lambs. My friend can do that voice spot on.
Bill Simmons (2:29 PM)
I love that we can have Forrest Gump Week and Shark Week, and yet, ESPN can't have Tyson Week.
Any cool pranks planned for Dorkapalooza? Maybe some fake stats on the "correlation between headband-wearing and getting drastically overpaid (Baron Davis, Charlie Villanueva, TJ Ford,...)". You could even include the statistical outliers (Melo, LBJ)
Bill Simmons (2:30 PM)
I'm on the same panel with Bill Polian - I was thinking about starting things out by asking him, "Bill, if I do a better job than you on this panel, are you going to change the rules next year so that they're more in your favor?"
Hollywood and Sunset don't cross, Clipper boy.
Bill Simmons (2:31 PM)
Sorry about that - I meant the Chik Fil A is going to be on Highland and Sunset. Right now it's a Drive-Thru Carl's Jr.
can you just please agree with me that women's hockey isn't that great...also youre the only one who thinks lebron could go to chicago, why?
Bill Simmons (2:32 PM)
Women's hockey is awful to watch, and even worse, it's an awful Olympic sport since only 2 countries are good at it. So yes, I agree. That might be the single worst women's sport to watch. I can't think of anything that comes close. It's like watching 10 drunk people try to have a snowball fight.
patrick (los angeles)
As a Clipper season ticket holder, can you list of the upcoming free agents based on the percentage likelihood of them coming to the Clippers?
Bill Simmons (2:33 PM)
The only one who might be dumb enough to come is Rudy Gay. He just wants to get paid and they could sell him on the whole, "It's LA, and we need a small forward!" thing.
Jeff (Albany NY)
They're Canadians, They're Hockey Players, They won in Canada.... I LOVE the Canadian Women's Hockey Team celebration!!! The IOC can eff off.
Bill Simmons (2:34 PM)
I agree. I guess that was the one redeeming thing about Olympic women's hockey.
Bill,To go back to you saying you like Everton, because of Donovan and Howard playing on it, and also the Spurs. Now i know you picked Tottenham as your team to follow the EPL but you cant root for another team in the same league. Its like rooting for the Angels or Rays or Blue Jays or Tigers (you get the point) because you may like one or two players on those teams because they happen to be from Mass or the Boston area. Just because 2 american are playing for Everton doesnt make it right. I realize I've just lost about 90% of your readers right now by talking EPL.
Bill Simmons (2:36 PM)
Yeah, but it's good for Team USA if Everton keeps doing well and Donovan/Howard (2 of our 4 most important players) get those world-class reps at the highest pressure level heading into this summer. As an American, how can you root against that?
Michael (Green Bay)
Can you please tell Favre to retire?....and actually stay retired?
Bill Simmons (2:36 PM)
Come on, one more year! How can you root against more Favre? What's more fun - a 2010 Vikes team QB'ed by Favre or Tarvaris Jackson. DOn't be silly.
I loved your column about fixing the NBA. Unfortunately, there is no way owners would ever go for your reducing ticket prices for missing the playoffs plan. But do you think the NBA could relegate teams to the D league for finishing dead last. This does two things, stops tanking and creates genuine interest in the D-league.
Bill Simmons (2:39 PM)
Look, the owners are in for a rude awakening if they think they can continue to fleece fans like this. Look at what happened to hockey the past 15 years - they priced their fans out, the sport collapsed, and now it's coming back. The bottom line is that it shouldn't cost 350 bucks for good seats to an NBA game, and it shouldn't cost 20 bucks + 20 in parking a 4 hour committment for crappy seats to an NBA game. These teams are delusional. They need to blow things up and it won't happen until they get over their arrogance and admit that the habits of sports fans are changing and nobody wants to pay for crappy seats or overpay for good ones anymore.
What is your worst-case scenario for the Knicks this offseason?
Bill Simmons (2:40 PM)
Amare and Rudy Gay.
Eric (Rochester, NY)
Hey Bill did you know our city won an NBA championship in 1951? Suck it Cleveland!
Bill Simmons (2:40 PM)
That's just not fair.
I don't know what's worse Rasheed Wallace shooting 3's or hearing Reggie Miller say how Wallace will be good when he gets into game shape (there are only 24 games left!!!!!.
Bill Simmons (2:41 PM)
It's a tie. Yeah, Game 58 and a TV announcer is saying seriously that a player making $6 million this season who's been halthy all year "just needs to get in game shape." Are you kidding me? CTC, right Rasheed?
In you're last column you ripped the NBA's lack of caring about the fans, but can't you extend these arguments to any sport?
Bill Simmons (2:43 PM)
It could easily be extended to baseball, but here's the difference: it's fun to go to a baseball game. You're outdoors, you can take your family, bad seats don't matter... there's some upside. You could be a Royals season ticket holder and miserable, but at least you're outside. In fact, that should be their 2010 marketing slogan: "The 2010 Royals: At Least You're Outside."
Bill Simmons (2:43 PM)
FYI: We're shutting down this chat in 15 minutes because I have to tape a massively important podcast with the tsar or reality TV, Dave Jacoby.
Bill Simmons (2:44 PM)
Heard on the USA network right now: "HARD! HARD! HARD!!!!!!!!!!' Go Curglar!!!!
Let's get a national perspective -- will McNabb be back in Philly next year? Should he?
Bill Simmons (2:45 PM)
They should absolutely an unequivocally trade him for a draft pick and usher in the Kevin Kolb with Vick Backing Him Up Era. McNabb and Philly are like Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson - they just need to break up for everyone's sake.
Zach (Kansas City)
You really want to be outside in Kansas City in April?
Bill Simmons (2:46 PM)
At least I'd have BBQ!
You ranked Carmelo #1 player you would want taking the last show for your team on Cowherds show... why though wouldnt you just want LeBron to drive to the basket instead, NOBODY can guard him in the NBA
Bill Simmons (2:46 PM)
But that's the problem... LBJ settles for 20-footers and threes a little too much right now. He can get to the rim every single time.
Andrew (Burlington, VT)
This week, Conan O'Brien joined twitter, which set the world ablaze for over 29 minutes before the world collectively moved on. Is there any one person you would like to see get on the twitter, and do you have enough juice to get Worldwide Wes to join?
Bill Simmons (2:47 PM)
Uncle Wes would have the greatest twitter ever. That's the first twitter that I'd tie to my cell phone so it would send me a text every time he wrote something.
Nick M. (Atlanta, GA)
Is it too early to call Hasheem Thabeet the biggest bust of all time in any major sport? I say not. MLB - Brien Taylor - Injury. NFL - Ryan Leaf, he at least played more than one season. And he wasn't shipped off to the NFL equivalent of the D-League NFL Europe. I mean, what an utter whiff of a draft choice.
Bill Simmons (2:48 PM)
Come on, Jamarcus Russell has to be worse.
Daniel (New Orleans, LA)
With a week to review, which NBA trade is your favorite in terms of affecting this season? Any thoughts on the evils of chewing straws?
Bill Simmons (2:49 PM)
I tweeted this when it happened: the sneakiest trade was Charlotte getting Ty Thomas. They needed a rebounder/shotblocker/athlete and the price was negligible. He has top-4 lottery pedigree and had a couple of bad coaching situations... now he gets to play for Larry Brown on a team that needs him, and Capt. Jack will keep him in line. I loved that gamble by them. It's just hard to believe that MJ made that trade while putting on the 14th at Pebble Beach while holding a cigar.
Remember the column you write about the 06 Miami Heat turning into a dinner table full of women fighting over how to split the dinner check? Hope you enjoyed your 08 title because the bill just came due in Boston.
Bill Simmons (2:50 PM)
Yup. And we're sitting here at the table glancing at each other awkwardly.
Final men's olympic hockey gold medal game prediction?
Bill Simmons (2:51 PM)
I am pessimistic. Canada doubled our shots in that last game but made the mistake of going with Jacques Plante over Luongo. (Wait, that wasn't Jacques Plante? I thought it was!) Our best thing in our favor is the crowd - I think they will get superdupertense if they fall behind. It means too much.
You the Sixers GM. The Rockets have offered you Tracy McGrady's EC and rookie Chase Budinger for Andre Iguodala and Samuel Dalembert. Iguodala is your best player but your team sucks, McGrady gives you tons of cap space for the future, and any trade meanign Dalembert leaves is good. But you say no, and trade meaningless players for meaningless players and GIVE UP a 2nd round pick. Please role play for Mr. Ed Stefanksi and try to tell me what type of prescription drugs he is on please.
Bill Simmons (2:52 PM)
Agree. I would have done that trade in 2.2 seconds.
Clay (New London, CT)
Bigger NBA trading deadline mistake: The Celtics not dealing Ray Allen for something useful or the Warriors not taking the Mayo and Thabeet for Monta Ellis?
Bill Simmons (2:53 PM)
If GSW turned down Mayo and Darko Thabeet for Monta, their fans should revolt. I just can't believe that's true. It's basic math - you'd rather pay Mayo one-third what Ellis makes for the next 3 years. That organization may have supplanted the Clips as the worst in the NBA. Amazing but true.
I think of the Celtics like John Locke. Off island story resemble the 3 years prior to the Celtics landing Garnett. They were mediocre, everyone looked down on them and at one point they were just plain sad to watch. The 08 season is John Locke from seasons 1-3.. sure they had their low points but they were the best team/character by far. The 09 celtics equals John locke seasons 04 & 05. He was still one of the best characters but died and gave BEN the chance to nab the best character spot, similar to how Garnetts injury gave the Lakers the chance to win it all. 2010 Celtics equals season 6 locke, dead.. Just.. dead. You have any more examples of a team resembling a character on LOST?
Bill Simmons (2:54 PM)
I just poured myself a hard drink.
Luke (Wilmington, NC)
How disappointed were you that Tiger didn't end his media event by looking at the camera and saying "hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid" followed by strippers giving lap dances to everyone in attendance?
Bill Simmons (2:54 PM)
Rick Reilly thought that tweet was disgusting.
Is anything more depressing than this season of 24? I'm considering not watching anymore to not taint the memories. Can I just give up on it, or do I owe it to Jack to finish the season?
Bill Simmons (2:56 PM)
Come on, "24" is like a football team - sometimes it goes 13-3, sometimes it goes 3-13, sometimes it goes 8-8. But that doesn't mean you give up on the team! With that said, this was a 2-14 season and they have a chance to get the No. 1 pick. I think we all learned a valuable lesson here: if the answer is Freddie Prinze Jr, you need to re-think the question.
Getting married tomorrow - What is the appropriate drinking amount for grooms at weddings?
Bill Simmons (2:56 PM)
There is no appropriate amount. Knock yourself out. Just remember to eat so you have a food base.
FranKie D. (Hoboken NJ)
Bill Any Recommendations for books in 2010 so far. Sports and Non-sports related?
Bill Simmons (2:56 PM)
So far I really enjoyed "Game Change" and "Beatty."
Bryan (Phoenix, AZ)
Would Jack Nicholson regularly attend Clippers' home games if they sign LeBron James?
Bill Simmons (2:57 PM)
I think that would have to be part of the deal. LBJ would say, "I'm in, but Nicholson has to be in as well."
How dare you Simmons! As a huge Cavs fan AND a huge Simmons fan, I ran upstairs to my laptop immediately after the Cavs/Cs game last night to check your Twitter page (please ignore what this implies about my life), hoping to find your analysis. And what did I find? NOTHING. No "How many times have I said that the Cavs small line-up is 'Poop-in-your-pants scary?'" No "the Cavs should have won by more." No "it would've been different if The Truth was playing, even though he can't stop Lebron multiple times in a 7-game series anymore." This is all to say, I'd like to know what you thought of last night's Cavs/Cs game, i.e. what it says about the Cavs and what it says about the Celtics.
Bill Simmons (2:58 PM)
What do you want me to say? Cleveland is better than Boston. We won the 2008 title and now we're on the outside looking in. It's LBJ's year. Anything else?
So is the 30 for 30 series coming to DVD or what? This is more important than curling, the NBA's various debacles, and even the Jersey Shore. It is easily the best thing you have done at ESPN*. The U documentary is already legendary and needs director commentary/deleted scenes with a proper DVD release.*career
Bill Simmons (3:00 PM)
Yes. Way down the road, but yes. That reminds me, we have an awesomely eclectic and entertaining group of docs coming up. I think Dan Klores's doc on Reggie Miller and the Knicks (premiering 3/14) ius the best NBA doc ever made (although I haven't seen HBO's Bird-Magic doc yet, I heard that was great). The Iverson and Ricky Williams docs will change how you think of those guys. Then we have fantasy baseball, Hank Gathers, the 2 Escobars... it's a murderer's row. Get ready.
Bill Simmons (3:01 PM)
And on that note, I have to record a podcast. Thanks for all your questions - 42K in three hours! Enjoy the weekend and GO USA!!!!!!!!!!!!
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