ESPN

Bill Simmons

  (1:02 PM)

Sorry I'm late, was finishing this week's BS Report with Cousin Sal. We are open for business!

Marc (Michigan)

If Darko Milicic (17.0 points, 8.8 rebounds, 3.5 assists and 4.0 blocks in his past four games) is able to continue to look like a legitimate NBA starter for the course of the season how will it further affect your opinions of David Kahn and Joe Dumars?

Bill Simmons

  (1:05 PM)

I picked up Darko for my 0-3 fantasy hoops team this week... and started him. I'm starting to think Kahn is like the island in "Lost" - he rejuvenates troubled souls.

Patrick (New York)

What do you think about Victor Martinez leaving the sox and going to the Tigers?

Bill Simmons

  (1:07 PM)

I'm surprisingly fine with it. He's going to be 35 by the end of that deal (4 years, $50 million) and the history of catchers hitting their mid-30's is just awful. And also, for the Sox to play the "we're all-defense now!" card and then have Victor catching never made sense. With that said... I'm going to miss the handshakes. And all the times he touched Beltre's head and pissed him off.

Bill (Chicago)

With Gilbert Arenas showing odd signs of life over the last five games, where do you think he would be the ideal fit?

Bill Simmons

  (1:09 PM)

The team that's always made the most sense to me: Orlando. They need a creator; Washington needs to get Gilbert out of there and turn the team over to John Wall. If I were Orlando I'd be pushing Rashard Lewis on them (a bad deal for bad deal) trade and if I were Washington I'd be holding out for Vince's expiring deal and a complimentary box of maxi-pads.

Kyle (Duluth)

How badly do you think Lebron regrets signing in Miami? And is he secretly hoping wade is seriously hurt so he doesn't have to deal with him on the court at the same time?

Bill Simmons

  (1:11 PM)

I have 2 theories on this...1. LeBron signing with Miami was like two people getting married in Vegas - it seemed like an awesome idea in the moment and I don't think he put any real thought into it. I think the dude was in pain from the Boston series and what happened behind the scenes, and he wanted to play with his buddies and Wade/Riley really won him over and said all the right thing and suddenly he was saying the words "take my talents to South Beach." and now it's the next morning and he's in some hotel room in Vegas going, "Wait, can we get this annulled."

Bill Simmons

  (1:15 PM)

And 2. Wade/LeBron/Bosh knew they were playing together all along and just assumed they would run over everyone and completely discounted the parts where A) you need 9 guys to win, B) if you're a 3-man team with 2 solid role players and a bunch of stiffs, you basically can't have any injuries whatsoever, and C) Wade/LeBron are just redundant with their strengths, they don't complement each other so well. But instead of thinking, "Damn, I wish I had put a little more thought into this," he's in "we'll be fine, we just need to get healthy" mode. translation: total denial. Because the league is too deep now, and LA/Boston are too good, to beat anyone with a 3-man team and no interior defense/rebounding.

Bill Simmons

  (1:15 PM)

So it's either one of those 2 feelings for him right now. I continue to think he should have picked the Knicks. he would have owned New York.

Scott (California)

Warriors fan here: We had Marco Belinelli for 3 years? What took you so long with the Sly Stallone comparison? Thats literally all anyone talked about when the guy stepped on the floor.

Bill Simmons

  (1:17 PM)

I just didn't notice it until last night. It's unbelievable. I went with my friend Chen - he pointed it out early and I couldn't stop doing Stallone grunts every time he shot a 3. He looks like Stallone circa 1982 (the First Blood/Nighthawks stretch) before Stallone started, um, enhancing his look. Dead ringer.

Jim (London)

Sports Guy: what's your prediction on when the first major-league American athlete comes out of the closet?

Bill Simmons

  (1:20 PM)

Great question. I think it will happen within the next 30 months. It will be someone who isn't a superstar but a recognizable player - like a 3rd starter in baseball, or a swingman in basketball (no pun intended) - and someone who's closer to the end of his career. I think it will be basketball or baseball. But the thing is - someone SHOULD do this. They'd become an icon in the gay community and much more marketable/famous. It's a smart career move.

Bill Simmons

  (1:20 PM)

My odds: Baseball: 3/2. Football: 20/1. Basketball: 2/1. Hockey: 30/1.

Ben (Chicago)

Has there ever been a game with a higher probability of on-court violence than December 2, Miami at Cleveland?

Bill Simmons

  (1:23 PM)

obviously I hope Cleveland fans handle themselves the right way: Bring your signs, bring the boos, bring the passion, make your point but don't do anything dumb to undermine the game itself. Handle yourself with class and make your point: that you feel betrayed, that you won't forgive the guy, and that you will never forgive him. Anything beyond that would be creepy. It's just sports.

Bill Simmons

  (1:23 PM)

obviously I hope Cleveland fans handle themselves the right way: Bring your signs, bring the boos, bring the passion, make your point but don't do anything dumb to undermine the game itself. Handle yourself with class and make your point: that you feel betrayed, that you won't forgive the guy, and that you will never forgive him. Anything beyond that would be creepy. It's just sports.

Mark (Maine)

Can we officially call The Miz the biggest star to ever come out of the Real World/Road Rules/Inferno era after he won the WWE Title last night?

Bill Simmons

  (1:26 PM)

It's an incredible story - here's a kid who went on the "Real World," called himself "The Miz," did fake wrestling promos, fake-wrestled people in the house and openly dreamed of being a WWE wrestler and now he's the champ. Isn't this a sports movie or am I crazy?

Ben (Mexico)

Every time the Texans lose I feel like someone kicked me in the nuts, do you know when this will be over??

Bill Simmons

  (1:27 PM)

You better buy a much bigger protective cup - they refuse to fire Gary Kubiak (who should have been fired even before the Jets game ended) and as long as you have that rudderless Kubiak/Schaub combo it's hopeless. I wouldn't trust those guys to close out a dinner tab.

Jaash Freeman (Tampa)

It's time to get me on the BS Report!

Bill Simmons

  (1:28 PM)

JAAAAAAAAAAAASH FREEMAN! BTW - why is he never mentioned in the MVP discussions? The Bucs are 7-3, San Diego is 5-5, but Phil Rivers is more valuable????

Justin (Providence)

Bill, VMART just went to the Tigers...who is Boston's target for behind the plate?

Bill Simmons

  (1:30 PM)

Feels like we're Miguel Olivo waiting to happen. Forgot to mention one thing with V-Mart: the Sox get a great compensatory pick for him. It's weird that we never mention this with baseball, but when a big market team gets a high compensatory pick they can crush it because they can always target one of those top-10 prospects who was headed to college unless someone bowled him over with a crazy offer. The lesson, as always: It's fun to root for a team that can spend money!

Chris Bosh (Miami, FL)

Why did Lebron and D Wade start screening my phone calls? Hanging out with Juwan Howard is not fun.

Nick (Nashua, NH)

Griffin over Mozgov! See it live? Thoughts? Top 3 in-game dunk of all time!

Bill Simmons

  (1:32 PM)

I missed Sat's game because my wife said, "That's not how I am spending my Saturday night." So it's a very sore subject in my house right now. Here's the thing: The Mosgov dunk WASN'T A DUNK!!!!! He never touched the rim! I can't call that a dunk. It was incredible, it was unbelievable, it was the best NBA play of the year... but I need a hand to touch the rim for it to be a dunk.

Suzy Walter (NYC)

Are the Knicks the #1 team to get Carmelo at the end of the deadline (or end of the year if he's not traded)? What are the other likely candidates?

Bill Simmons

  (1:35 PM)

I still would bet anything that he's going to the Knicks - either before the deadline or this summer. That's where he wants to go and he's rooster-blocking the other options. Now, New Jersey could Godfather offer Denver (the trade I mentioned in last week's column) and basically hope he'll re-sign there... it's possible.

Bill Simmons

  (1:36 PM)

And if Chicago put Luol Deng, Taj Gibson (who's turned into a legitimately good player), $3 million and a couple of No. 1 picks on the table, I think Denver would have to consider it. (And so would Melo). But I'd make the odds like this...

Bill Simmons

  (1:36 PM)

Knicks -400; Bulls 3-1; Jersey 5-1; Field 20-1.

Jono (Atlanta)

When do you think the Sal podcast will be up? My friends and I need to score our lines pool...

Bill Simmons

  (1:38 PM)

Usually takes around 2 to 2.5 hours to turn the podcast around so it should be by 3:30 ET. You could read the chat while listening to the podcast... DOUBLE SIMMONS! (Crying.) What does it mean??????

Trey (Charleston)

What's the deal with Durant? He has some sort of Ewing Theory stuff going on. His +/- is bad and they beat the C's without him.

Bill Simmons

  (1:40 PM)

I thought the Zombies deferred to him too much in the first 3 weeks. Not his fault, not anyone's fault, just a natural outcome of his Team USA experience and all the hype he was getting. They'll figure it out. The one guy who seemed to legitimately thrive without him was James Harden, which made me wonder if he's just not meant to be a role player - he might be someone who needs to be actively involved to be effective. I think he's more of a scorer than a 'stand in the corner like Trevor Ariza and wait to shoot threes" guy.

Vince Young (Tennessee)

Is there any hope for me?

Bill Simmons

  (1:41 PM)

You need a new team. You're No. 2 in the "I Just Need a New Team" Power Rankings behind poor Greg Oden, whose name should officially be changed to Poor Greg Oden.

Charles (San Jose)

Who wrote the better book, Adam Carolla or Baba Booey? Or Portia deRossi?

Bill Simmons

  (1:43 PM)

Obviously he's my friend and I am biased. But I think I have established a track record of not plugging things unless I really like them. And I loved Carolla's book. I thought it was funny as hell, I thought it had an overall theme, and I thought it captured what it's like to be around him and what's rattling around in his head at all times. it made me laugh out loud over and over again which is almost impossible for me at this point. I plowed through it in 2 days.

Sohail (The Valley)

Do you think the refs overreacted in Sunday's Oakland/Pittsburgh game by ejecting Richard Seymour? How else should somebody react when being lunged at by a known sexual predator?

Bill Simmons

  (1:45 PM)

I know you're kidding about the known sexual predator part (right?) but I did think everyone overreacted on that one. White Mamba had just completed a TD pass, then ran behind Seymour and trash-talked him. What did he think was going to happen????

Josh (Detroit)

Funny how you'll blame Vince for the issues in Nashville but not acknolwedge his career success and Jeff Fisher's lack of it...

Bill Simmons

  (1:47 PM)

The QB is the leader of a football team - Vince doesn't act like a leader. At least not yet. I just think he needs a fresh start. The Vince-Fisher thing definitely fits the "bad relationship" corollary - once too many bad things happen with a relationship/marriage, there's no going back and those guys are there.

jeremy (west virginia)

what was it like being around christy canyon at a bar called "happy endings"?? what would 25 yo Bill Simmons have thought if you had a time machine and came back in time to tell him

Bill Simmons

  (1:50 PM)

Sal and I discussed this in today's podcast. (FYI: I appeared on Carolla's football podcast this Sunday and she was a guest as well.) I think 15 year old Bill Simmons would have been more overjoyed than he was when the '84 Celts beat the lakers. 25 year old Bill Simmons would have been furious that I didn't ask her out. And 41 year old Bill Simmons was sitting there terrified that Carolla was going to drag the conversation into an inappropriate place and get me suspended or fired. I had the Carson Palmer Face going. I finally fled. I couldn't handle it.

DAVID STERN (NY, NY)

Do you think there is a "99 percent chance" that there will be an NBA lockout? Do you really think the NBA will cut salaries 700-800k? When do you think the NBA will resume?

Bill Simmons

  (1:52 PM)

No way. I'd say 30/70. Stern is doing a lot of tough talk right now but I think it's posturing... the 2010 player's union is soooooo much smarter than the 1999 player's union was. and they know from experience that a lot of their members live paycheck to paycheck and can't afford to miss three months of checks. And also: Stern wants no part of having a lockout be the final chapter of his legacy. I would bet on "no lockout" before "lockout." Much better chance for the NFL.

Drew Kelso (Kansas City, MO)

What are the odds that the Heat maybe trade Bosh to get 2 or 3 role players?

Bill Simmons

  (1:53 PM)

Won't happen this season... but I could see it happening this summer. Potentially. Although we have to ask... is Chris Bosh badly overpaid at $110 million? Is that a contract you'd even want to take on unless you were desperate? Why is he worth $30 million more than David Lee or 2.5x more than Luis Scola?

Andrea Zuckerman (Beverly Hills, CA)

Why wouldn't Brandon sleep with me? I should have hooked up with Steve Sanders when I had the chance.

Bill Simmons

  (1:53 PM)

You aimed too high.

Marc Stein (Dallas )

When are me and Bucher going to be on the Podcast. It would be nice to discuss what has been going on so far in the season

Bill Simmons

  (1:54 PM)

Buch has been banned since he refuses to do it from a landline. And also, because he kills my ratings in Utah.

Robert (NYC)

If Mayweather/Paquiao ever happens, who ya got?

Bill Simmons

  (1:58 PM)

I don't think it will ever happen. Doesn't seem like either guy totally wants it. I think Manny is going to keep fighting bigger guys that he knows he can beat (like Margarito last weekend), he's always going to be too fast for those guys as long as the weight difference isn't so ridiculous that he would get creamed. I wrote this last week: I'd love to see him fight Pavlik at 168, Pavlik's washed-up but a name, and the weight difference is so dramatic that he'd have a real chance... and yet, I think Manny would win. But he'd get crushed by someone like Sergio martinez, I don't see him ever fighting anyone that could make him look bad at this point. He's already made more than enough money.

Joseph (Chicago)

how good would the Spurs be if they didn't screw up the Scola thing? They'd currently have Timmy, Scola, Blair, McDyess, Splitter for bigs. Competition for the Lakers unlike any other team.

Bill Simmons

  (2:00 PM)

Yeah, the Scola thing was their biggest mistake of the past 10 years and it's never really been explained why they panicked like that - it would have been a luxury tax hit for one year (and not even for THAT much) and they just gave him away. I'm still not sold on them maintaining this pace... keep hearing that Manu's ankles and knees are in much worse shape than they are letting on.

Mike D (CT)

Last Night: Boston Collge 69 Holy Cross 54, THOUGHTS?

Bill Simmons

  (2:01 PM)

(Shaking my head.)

Swonger (NYC CHINATOWN)

What are your thanksgiving day plans?

Bill Simmons

  (2:03 PM)

They hinge on the Pats game (9:30 am start on the West Coast). If we choke away that game in Detroit, I'm going to put on a sleeveless white t-shirt, start drinking, act surly, refuse to help out my wife and be mean to my kids. If we win, I will be a good husband and dad and maybe even carve the turkey. So we'll see.

kevin (boston)

so when the bulls get boozer back....that's the celtics' main competition, right?

Bill Simmons

  (2:05 PM)

That's the Eastern team that scares me the most, especially if they can upgrade the 2-spot and do a little better than Ronnie Brewer. I'm terrified of them trading for Rip Hamilton. Repeat: terrified. Sorry Miami... I'm just not scared of a two-man team that has its best 2 guys basically alternating possessions. And sorry Orlando... I don't see how you're any better than last spring.

Rich (Boston)

Who do you think the Sox should grab from free agency out of Crawford or Werth? Do you also think they will make a big trade for Fielder or Gonzo?

Bill Simmons

  (2:08 PM)

I'd much rather see them re-sign Beltre (as long as it's fairly reasonable) and avoid a big-money panic signing (like the Lackey one last winter) that's done partly so they can say, "Look, we changed our team!" That's the Lou Gorman mentality that Theo Epstein always swore to avoid - you don't make moves to make fans/writers/talk show hosts happy in December, you make them because they're smart. And overpaying for Crawford/Werth (and losing draft picks) so we can then turn around and deal Jacoby Ellsbury for 35 cents on the dollar... how is that smart? The team got destroyed by injuries last season and still hung around into September. Why do they have to panic?

Bill Simmons

  (2:11 PM)

PS: my dad said on the phone last week, "We need to do something, their ratings dropped, ticket demand dropped, we didn't have a single compelling star." Which is all true. But isn't "we need to do something" a recipe for disaster? I'd hold the fort, bring Beltre back (I thought he was fantastic last season - great teammate, played hurt, played really well, what's not to love?) and wait until a logical move presents itself (like a Gonzalez trade, or even an Upton trade if it's for the right price). Put it this way: Lou Gorman would have overpaid Crawford. 'Nuff said.

John (Asheville, NC)

How excited were you about Tottenham's win over Arsenal on Sunday? Did it compare with Sunday's Pats win over Indy?

Bill Simmons

  (2:12 PM)

Sadly it started on the West Coast at 4:30am so I woke up at 6:30 and watched it on DVR... not quite the same. But I enjoyed the Arsenal choke more than the Tottenham win. Arsenal's fans are annoying. Plus, I won beers from David Hirshey. And my guy Gareth Bale scored a goal. It was a good way to start the morning.

Bill Simmons

  (2:16 PM)

By the way, it's funny to take heat from soccer fans that I'm a bandwagon Tottenham fan. I mean... of course I am. I am something like 17 months into this thing. But what I don't get about sports like the UFC/soccer/NHL (and even baseball with the saber community towards people who just like baseball and don't want to dive into the stats) is why the diehards are so protective/condescending towards casual fans. What's the goal there? To just drive away everyone who might like the sport and want to become more of a fan? I think there's a difference between local bandwagon fans (like the Pink Hat Red Sox fans) and "I am starting to like your sport, I genuinely want to follow it and learn about it" fans and it would just seem like the diehards should embrace the latter group. Or am I crazy?

Phil Jackson (LA)

When is Pat Riley gonna step down from the front office and coach again?

Bill Simmons

  (2:18 PM)

Believe me, I love the concept and it's fun to make the canoe/Fredo jokes about him and Spoelstra... but he's not coaching again. I think there's a much better chance that he'd bring in one of his guys (Jeff Van Gundy, etc) to take over.

Bill Simmons

  (2:20 PM)

PS: This isn't Spo's fault. I know it's fun to blame the coach, but tell me how you'd coach a team that can't protect the rim, has no depth whatsoever and has 2 players with similar skill sets who need to figure out how to coexist on their own? I mean, Eddie House is a HUGE part of this team! He was the 11th man on the Celts last year and they traded him away... that's your 4th best player????

Scott (Norfolk)

Who are your favorites to win Survivor Nicaragua and Cutthroat 2? Any chance there's an upcoming BS Report w/the Reality TV Czar?

Bill Simmons

  (2:21 PM)

Yes - we're overdue. My favorites are the Abram/Laurel/Sarah team for Cutthroat and the old lady who raises dogs and looks like an old Mrs. Holland from Mrs. Holland's Opus for Survivor.

Tom (Simi Valley, CA)

You're not crazy, especially with soccer fans. As I see it, the hardcore fans think 1) you're a moron if you don't like and can't appreciate the beauty of soccer. Then, if you start showing some interest in it, 2) you're a moron because you don't know the intricate details of the game, like the difference between Iniesta and Xavi, or you like the World Cup the most. Finally, 3) you're a moron and a bandwagon jumper if you take a liking to a new team. Perhaps you need to start in the lower levels with Dag & Red or something and hope to get promoted through the levels.

Bill Simmons

  (2:25 PM)

That's a good way to put it. BTW - here's a word to the wise for the MLS. You need to stop putting your semifinal and Final playoff games head to head against Sunday night NFL. it's a suicide mission. Schedule those games for Tuesday nights when there's no football and you're only going against NFL. You will never, ever, not EVER gain traction in America in any conceivable way by going head to head against the NFL. It's idiotic. it couldn't be dumber. That MLS Cup final was really exciting (especially the last 20 minutes of extra time, and yes, I was toggling between that and the Eagles game) and nobody saw it.

Stan (Seattle, Wa)

When is the Jacoby House going to be found online?

Bill Simmons

  (2:26 PM)

He's working on it. He made a whole document filled with current house members and people who lived in the house - it's fantastic. We're trying to figure out what to do with it. It's one of my favorite ideas in awhile.

Brian A (NYC)

You just pissed-off hardcore UFC fans by calling it UFC - it's MMA. And I honestly think that they don't want it to be a mainstream sport. Part of it is that there's some bitterness when they see it talked about on shows like "PTI" where they just call disgusting and move on. The other part is that it was "underground" for so long they like being part of this little club that watches and follows it.

Bill Simmons

  (2:30 PM)

I remember tackling this topic a few months ago - I had a theory about it that I wrote up in a column. Can someone send me the link? I do think that diehard fans tend to exclude newcomers - the same phenomenon works with music, you always want your favorite band to be the little band that not everyone knows about (and never have them get to the U2 level). I think Kings of Leon are a good recent example of this and even the band members hated that they became "mainstream" because it brought in fans that they didn't necessarily want. The best breakdown of this was in Steve Martin's book about his standup career when he talks about becoming hugely famous and how he started dreading doing his shows because he felt like people weren't there for the right reasons. It's an interesting topic I think.

Kevin (Ottawa)

The problem with supporting Spurs is that they are genuinely exciting for the first time in a long-time so you come off as a fair weather supporter now. That being said, please write more about soccer. It NEEDS more North American coverage.

Bill Simmons

  (2:32 PM)

Yeah but I picked them in this 2006 column: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060719. I just didn't have the time to properly follow them until I finished my basketball book so I waited until August 2009 to start.

Nathan (Huntington Beach)

Ok, lets stop talking about soccer. Lets start talking Lakers winning #17 this year.

Bill Simmons

  (2:36 PM)

I can't wait to see what happens when Bynum comes back. They're in such a great groove right now - and Lamar/Gasol are playing at such a high level, really the best they've ever been - that I don't see how Bynum is anything more than a backup center and insurance against low-post guys like Howard/Shaq/Bogut/Duncan at this point. He should never play more than 20 mins a game for them = maybe 2 10-minute stretches per half. Will he accept this? Will he understand it?

Grayson (Boone, NC)

Was the topic of UFC in a mailbag? If it was correlated with Soccer here it is about midway down. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100722/mailbag1

Bill Simmons

  (2:37 PM)

Yeah - that was it. Thank you. I called it "The Cult of the Status Quo." I used to remember these things off the top of my head... and then my son woke up at 5:30 AM for 3 straight years.

Clint (Texas)

Heard anything from our boy Dork Elvis on how he plans on fixing the Rockets after we get free of Yao?

Bill Simmons

  (2:41 PM)

I'm afraid to e-mail him - they're 3-10 right now and this is the first bad stretch they've had since he's taken over. Everything's gone wrong for them for 4 straight weeks. The best thing Daryl has going for him (and again, I have NOT talked to him): tradeable assets that could really help contending teams. Like Shane Battier... that's a guy who could push a team like Oklahoma City or Orlando to another level. And he's already proven he's not afraid to make moves. I bet he's active as hell.

Bill Simmons

  (2:41 PM)

I'm afraid to e-mail him - they're 3-10 right now and this is the first bad stretch they've had since he's taken over. Everything's gone wrong for them for 4 straight weeks. The best thing Daryl has going for him (and again, I have NOT talked to him): tradeable assets that could really help contending teams. Like Shane Battier... that's a guy who could push a team like Oklahoma City or Orlando to another level. And he's already proven he's not afraid to make moves. I bet he's active as hell.

Kevin (Edmonton)

How excited are you for the "movie with a bunch of nudity that you actually get credit with your wife for seeing with her" genre to launch with that new Anne Hathaway movie?

Bill Simmons

  (2:42 PM)

My answer to the Daryl question: I'm afraid to e-mail him - they're 3-10 right now and this is the first bad stretch they've had since he's taken over. Everything's gone wrong for them for 4 straight weeks. The best thing Daryl has going for him (and again, I have NOT talked to him): tradeable assets that could really help contending teams. Like Shane Battier... that's a guy who could push a team like Oklahoma City or Orlando to another level. And he's already proven he's not afraid to make moves. I bet he's active as hell.

Bill Simmons

  (2:44 PM)

My answer to Hathaway: Look, when Halle Berry won an Oscar for Monster's Ball (and really, she wasn't even that good in that movie, she just threw herself into the sex scene and swayed us until thinking the whole performance was great, when really, it was the greatest faked sex scene of all time and I'm not even totally sure they faked it), we braced for an era when good actresses would use nudity as a weapon for Oscar nominations. And then a few years passed, and now Anne Hathaway is bringing it back. I applaud you, Anne Hathaway.

Bill Simmons

  (2:45 PM)

By the way, I went to a wedding that she also attended a few months ago (for my friend Jacoby) and nobody hit on her the whole night. it made me wonder if Jennifer Aniston's inability to find a man isn't totally her fault. Maybe you just reach a point where it's impossible for you to meet anyone other than other famous (or rich) people. And then you're doomed.

Batt Mowman (cowboy@aol.com)

The thunder team on the floor right now is the team we'll be watching for the next five years right? No big additions?

Bill Simmons

  (2:47 PM)

Yeah... probably. Although after watching Westbrook without Durant last weekend, I do wonder if we're headed for a Stringer/Avon situation with them. Remember, Stringer was happy working for Avon and being the No. 2 until Avon went to jail... then he got a taste of running the show himself and was like, "I don't need you anymore." And that's when the Wire unleashed the greatest 16-18 episodes in TV history. So... yeah.

Brad Childress (St. Paul, MN)

Is ESPN hiring?

Bill Simmons

  (2:48 PM)

Come on, there's no way we'd hire someone who failed miserably as an NFL coach or GM.

Sean (Berkeley)

We saw Carmelo play last night. He looks like a freshman on the varsity squad who is forced to go through the motions in JV practice. Can he end up anywhere besides NYC?

Bill Simmons

  (2:52 PM)

Yeah - I remember writing about this during Kobe's first month of the 2007-2008 season (about 2 months before Chris Wallace gift-wrapped them Gasol). If you're a top-10 player, you can check out on your team and still be 85% as effective as you were, and only people who watch this stuff carefully will even notice. That's Carmelo right now.

JT (Chicago)

Which Hollywood 'star' would you say that Lebron is most similar to?A) Lindsay Lohan - a crazy person seeking attentionB) Jennifer Aniston - looking for love in all the wrong places C) other

Bill Simmons

  (2:54 PM)

Hmmmmmmmm.

Bill Simmons

  (2:54 PM)

That's a great question. Post some suggestions for me, I will cherrypick them.

Eric (San Antonio)

How long before ESPN drops the Heat index? My guess is they don't bring it back for next season

Bill Simmons

  (2:56 PM)

I think the Heat Index has replaced Funny or Die as the single funniest site on the internet. I want them to add a ".500 Watch" where users can go there to find out if the Heat are above or below .500.

Brandon (San Diego)

Why do you think none of the Steelers went after Seymour when he dropped Ben?

Bill Simmons

  (2:57 PM)

Thought it was fascinating, actually. Made me wonder if he's been totally accepted by his teammates yet. If Brees/Brady/Manning got clocked like that, I think their o-linemen would have reacted.

Carl (Seattle)

Are you familiar with the Heat "Fan Up" campaign. Where they are trying to teach their fans things about being a good fan, such as coming to the games, etc.

Bill Simmons

  (3:02 PM)

We made fun of it when I co-hosted PTI on Friday. My take: I don't blame Miami, there's too much to do and the weather is too nice. I don't know how the NBA can suddenly be life-or-death there in the span of 2 weeks like it's been in cold weather cities. I blame LeBron for signing there. He should have wanted to play in a big market for fans that would have deified him if he did well. It really makes me angry. He should have gone to New York. Then again, that's what I wanted him to do and I don't matter... he obviously wanted to be with his buddies in a fun city and that's what mattered to him. Then again, it's just crazy that we went from "This guy's gonna be the new MJ" to "crap, he might just be Dr. J 2.0 crossed with a little Magic" to "wow... where are we???????" in the span of 8 months.

Kyle (Eau Claire, WI)

Did you hit the treadmill once you knew you were going to be on PTI?

Bill Simmons

  (3:04 PM)

I have been hitting the treadmill hard the past two weeks. The camera really does add ten pounds. It's amazing. HD is not a friend. It's a cruel mistress and an enemy. Don't be surprised if I go Carson Daly these next 9 months and just waste away.

Ben (Chicago)

When do you think Doc Brown will show up at a Heat game and tell LeBron, "We have to go back!" ?

Kevin (Kansas City)

The hollywood star Lebron is most like is Eddie Murphy. Murphy completly dominated early (Beverly Hills Cop, Trading Places, Coming to America etc). Then he got so big and famous he took the easy way out and started making crappy kids movies because they paid him a ton of money to do them.

Bill Simmons

  (3:05 PM)

Boom. Done. I really hope it doesn't play out that way. PS: Eddie had a phenomenal 8-year run (1981-88) before things turned... and this is LeBron's 8th NBA year. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Bill Simmons

  (3:08 PM)

Semi-related: I watched Beverly Hills Cop 2 on the treadmill over the span of 3 days (it's been on a lot lately) and decided that's the No. 1 most underrated 1980's movie. It's actually more entertaining than the original "Cop" and it's the third best movie he ever did - I'd rank them 48 Hours, Trading Places, Cop 2, Cop 1, Coming to America and then Boomerang as the top-6.

Peter (Dallas)

How are you doing in your fantasy football?

Bill Simmons

  (3:09 PM)

Headed for the playoffs in both leagues. Thank you for asking!

grow up (fool)

did you really just rank beverly hills cop 2 over cop 1? you are an idiot.

Bill Simmons

  (3:09 PM)

And I stand by it. It's a better movie. Watch Cop 1 and Cop 2... it's no contest.

Todd (Newtown, PA) [via mobile]

How do you feel about getting the same treatment Queen got from Vanilla Ice, with the NHL (and league VP Brendan Shanahan) blatantly pirating your idea for choosing teams at the All-Star Game?

Bill Simmons

  (3:12 PM)

You're talking about this column (from I think 2008). http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3602402 I am fine with it... it's just an idea, I'm glad someone is trying it. Maybe it will inspire the NBA to finally do it.

Bill Simmons

  (3:14 PM)

Sorry, just took a break to tweet that I was chatting.

Bill Simmons

  (3:14 PM)

PS: In 1995, I would have been totally confused by the previous sentence.

Brett Favre (Minneapolis)

Yea, I am just hanging out at the hotel and I would love for you to come over. I can send some photos if you're not convinced. Wait, sorry this was meant for the Sterger not Simmons.

Tiffany (Arizona)

who is your favorite sports figure to follow on twitter?

Bill Simmons

  (3:16 PM)

I really enjoy Jared Dudley. He's brought me more joy than any BC grad ever. And I'm including my mom.

Andy (Vienna, VA)

How would the NBA choose which two captains to use w/o hurting feelings. And how motivated would people be if they were taken last? They should let the teams wager on who would win too... if that were legal.

Bill Simmons

  (3:16 PM)

And... that's exactly why they should do it!

Thomas (Washington, D.C.)

Whatever happened to the Cubs/Bartman 30 for 30? Will it ever air?

Bill Simmons

  (3:19 PM)

We moved it out of the series because the director (Alex Gibney, who is brilliant) wanted more time with it. On the one hand, it was a shame because it would have been one of the 3 best docs of the series and possibly No. 1. On the other hand, the fact that he's spending MORE time on something that was already great has us really excited. PS: We're spinning off the "30 for 30" series next year into something that will probably be called "30 for 30 Presents" or something like that... we're going to be putting out 4-5 sports docs per year on the level of the best "30 for 30" docs and getting the best filmmakers to do them. Same creative team is involved. We have some terrific ideas in the hopper. So even though the SMU doc will be the 30th one (right after the Heisman ceremony) don't think the spirit of the series is going away.

Bill Simmons

  (3:21 PM)

PS: the first fifteen 30 for 30s are being released in a box set on December 7th. http://www.amazon.com/ESPN-Films-Gift-Set-Collection/dp/B003YMR98M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1290543621

Ryan (San Francisco)

Mashed potatoes or stuffing?

Bill Simmons

  (3:21 PM)

Stuffing.

Bill Simmons

  (3:22 PM)

For me it goes: 1) stuffing, 2) sweet potatoes, 3) maple glazed carrots, 4) mashed potatoes, 5) turkey. In that order.

matt (Denver)

So when will the Bartman documentary be shown? Sometime next year?

Bill Simmons

  (3:24 PM)

Next spring. It's outstanding. I can't say enough about it. For the record: it's about the concept of scapegoats in sports more than it's about Bartman.

Mike T. (Ann Arbor, MI)

In honor of all the kick returns we've seen the last few weeks, my buddy and I decided we absolutely needed to construct a film entirely of kickers/punters attempting a tackle. Any given return there's a 90% chance the guy makes a fool of himself. Tell me you wouldn't watch 45 minutes worth of clips of tiny white guys getting juked and then falling into the fetal position?

Bill Simmons

  (3:26 PM)

I would love this. I'd also like to see a 10-minute montage of Larry Fitzgerald starting to jump for a Derek Anderson/Max Hall pass and then just stopping mid-jump as the life sinks from his body because he realizes it's 10 feet over his head.

TJ (NH)

We're past halfway through the NFL season. Which team do you see coming out of the NFC and which team scares you the most in the AFC?

Bill Simmons

  (3:28 PM)

Philly scares me the most in the NFC; the Jets scare me the most in the AFC. Sal and I talked about the Jets in today's podcast: when teams get into a habit of pulling out close games in football, after awhile, you can start sensing that they ALWAYS think they're going to pull it out and that's when they become dangerous. The Jets are there. They're starting to remind me of the 2003/2004 Pats which frightens me.

Bill Simmons

  (3:28 PM)

(Did I jinx them enough? Should I keep going?)

St. Pete (Burlington, VT)

Bill, I know you are an avid fan of the show Friday Night Lights, as am I. What do you think about this 5th and final season? And much like you have in the past, what part of Jordan's career do season 4 and 5 represent?

Bill Simmons

  (3:29 PM)

I have the first 4 episodes on my DVR and will watch them this weekend. It's really hard for me to understand why this show has to go away, and yet the networks trot out stuff like Lone Star and Outlaw every fall and think it's going to work... why not just keep the show that's well-written and has diehard fans?

Barry (Sacramento)

Could you and Tyreke Evans sit down for a screening of Teen Wolf and a pep talk? The Kings are about three weeks away from fist fights over the ball.

Bill Simmons

  (3:31 PM)

I'd love it! Name the time and place. That seems like an unhappy team when you watch them... the pieces don't fit even though I like almost all of the pieces. Still waiting on that Pistons/Kings trade. PS: I was excited to see them in person but they're playing at the Clips on Thanksgiving night. Thanksgiving night?????????? You can't schedule 2 lottery teams on Thanksgiving night! We could have 4k people there. And of course that will be the game when Blake dunks from the foul line.

Bill Simmons

  (3:31 PM)

I'd love it! Name the time and place. That seems like an unhappy team when you watch them... the pieces don't fit even though I like almost all of the pieces. Still waiting on that Pistons/Kings trade. PS: I was excited to see them in person but they're playing at the Clips on Thanksgiving night. Thanksgiving night?????????? You can't schedule 2 lottery teams on Thanksgiving night! We could have 4k people there. And of course that will be the game when Blake dunks from the foul line.

Dave (Arlington, VA)

Bill, considering the Packers are now Coach Killers. What are the odds they end Singletary's tenure in Week 13?

Bill Simmons

  (3:33 PM)

I'd say 2-to-1. And watch out for Week 14 - they're playing the ESPN employee who came up with the idea for the Heat Index.

Bill Simmons

  (3:34 PM)

Hot off the podcast presses: Today's BS Report with me and Cousin Sal tackling the Week 12 lines. http://es.pn/hFAJLP

Justin (Minneapolis)

My buddy said Kobe was the hungriest player in the NBA...I countered with DeJuan Blair.

Bill Simmons

  (3:34 PM)

I pick Baron Davis.

Joe (Detroit)

How sad is it that my biggest hope as a Piston's fan is that we sign Greg Olden?

Bill Simmons

  (3:37 PM)

Was "Olden" a typo or intentional? Look, I'd absolutely take a $40 million flier on Oden this summer if I was a smaller market team with no real chance to get a superstar. What if I told you Portland's training staff was subpar? What if I told you he had bad luck? What if I told you this is starting to sound like a "30 for 30" commercial? "The Mistake" directed by Spike Lee - Tuesday night on ESPN.

James Furnish (Southampton, England )

After, Love, Griffen and maybe Gasol added to the GSW/NYK crazy feats this year, can you predict the future and tell me who else you think might break doing something amazing against them?

Bill Simmons

  (3:38 PM)

I'm counting Gasol's 10-for-10 FG as another crazy GSW/NYK box score (as well as Griffin's 44-17 with 3 of the dunks of the year) so we're already at 4 and we're not even at Thanksgiving yet. The "over" is going to win.

Francisco (New York )

At your upcoming public showings for your book tour, what other items are you selling other than TBOB paperback? You mentioned the poster of your HOF Pyramid sometime ago.

Bill Simmons

  (3:41 PM)

Right now we're doing NYC 12/7, Washington 12/8 and San Fran 12/9... not sure what else yet. But we had an artist named John Alexander paint the top-50 of my Hall of Fame Pyramid and we'll have the posters of that painting at the signings. They couldn't be cooler. Not sure how many we're printing yet. FYI: The paperback comes out on 12/7 as well... Larry Bird's birthday. Unintentional but fantastic. Here's the Amazon link for the paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Book-Basketball-NBA-According-Sports/dp/0345520106/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1290544888

Evan (Boston, MA)

They just announced that Haslem may be out for the rest of the season, if that happens, can we officially write the heat off?

Bill Simmons

  (3:42 PM)

Here's the link: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/miamiheat/news/story?id=5843177

Mike (DC)

Is Yao Ming the NBA equivalent to Lucky Strike cigarettes? As a back-to-the-basket post player, he's an outdated product, but his popularity and marketability keep the lights on at Sterling Cooper, er, the Rockets.

Cody (Fayetteville, AR)

I made a bet with a buddy of mine that the Cowboys would have a better record than the Titans at the beginning of the year. Are you liking my chances more than you were two weeks ago?

Bill Simmons

  (3:47 PM)

That's a pretty good one. Dallas is 3-7, Tennessee is 5-5... I hope you got major odds on that one.

Sam (Toronto)

What has happened since your book that would be the biggest change to your pyramid?

Bill Simmons

  (3:50 PM)

For the paperback, the biggest things that changed were LeBron, Wade, Kobe, Nash and Howard - I rewrote either part or all of everything for those guys. The smartest thing I did was wait to see where LeBron went. I just had a feeling that something weird was going to happen last summer and I wanted the paperback to be able to live in book stores for years and years, so even though my publisher wanted every revision turned in right after the Finals I just couldn't do it. I had to see. And I think his decision played into his career as a whole... and also, Wade's ability to convince LeBron to play for HIS TEAM played into Wade's career as a whole. So I'm glad I waited.

Eric (Minneapolis)

Do the Yankees cave, and give Jeter 4 years @ 15+?

Bill Simmons

  (3:51 PM)

They don't have to cave until someone else comes in with an offer. Life is all above leverage and Jeter doesn't have any.

2TV (Triptown)

Cashman has told Derek Jeter and his agent to go ahead and test the market. What uniform would Jeter look most ridiculous in next year?

Bill Simmons

  (3:51 PM)

Arizona.

John (Chicago)

Have you experienced your first TSA fondling yet?

Bill Simmons

  (3:52 PM)

I'm 2 weeks away! I can't wait!

Jake (NYC)

Can you request a TSA fondling?

Bill Simmons

  (3:52 PM)

I plan on it.

Tim (San Francisco)

Any changes for Pau Gasol on the pyramid? That seemed like the biggest miss when I saw it after the 2010 finals.He's one of the best players in the game right now, and was the difference maker last year.

Bill Simmons

  (3:53 PM)

I waffled on including Gasol and Durant and ultimately decided to leave it at 96. But I made odds for the guys who were most likely to join them by the time 2016 rolls around and I release "The Book Of Basketball, Vol. 2: I'm Broke And I Need Cash."

Evan (Boston)

When you said life is all about leverage I just had a mental image of Timothy Hutton making a serious face at the screen when I watch NBA games on Thursdays

Howard (Toronto)

C'mon, after Damon signing with the Yanks, you don't wish (even a little) that the Sox would turn around and offer Jeter the moon?! Of course he wouldn't be worth it, but still...

Bill Simmons

  (3:55 PM)

It's not completely far-fetched. He needs to move to 3B; if Beltre leaves, then 3B is open. They have the money; he needs to go to a team with deep pockets. And it's the kind of spiteful dick move that's made the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry so fantastic for so many decades.

Bill Simmons

  (3:55 PM)

It's not completely far-fetched. He needs to move to 3B; if Beltre leaves, then 3B is open. They have the money; he needs to go to a team with deep pockets. And it's the kind of spiteful dick move that's made the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry so fantastic for so many decades.

Bill Simmons

  (3:57 PM)

Put it this way: It took me a solid week to talk myself into the Shaq signhing. If the Red Sox offered Jeter 4 years for $75 million to play 3B, and it was like a fantasy auction in which the Yankees laughed and said, "Fine, you can have him," I would talk myself into it in 48 hours. "He just had an off-year, it happens, now he's going to change his training regimen, you can't count Jeter out, he's going to be a 9.8 on the Vengeance Scale" and so on. I'm that big of a homer. Don't bet against me.

Jarritt (Calgary, AB, Canada)

What's your favorite part of your job? Books, podcasts, columns, TV appearances, something else that I am missing?

Bill Simmons

  (4:02 PM)

There are 10-12 times a year when something big happens and I have to come up with a quality take fairly quickly. I enjoy that the most. A good example is after LeBron got knocked out of the playoffs... I went to bed and thought, "I'm going to wake up tomorrow super-early, turn my laptop on and start typing and try to figure out what the eff just happened and trust the process and that I will be able to come up with a coherent column even though I have absolutely no idea what I want to write at this moment." Those are my favorite days because I have been doing this long enough that I trust the process now.

Shane (Portland)

How do Blazers not get mentioned as one of the all-time cursed franchises? Moses Malone, Jordan, Durant, etc. Not only that but losing Sabas for the better part of his career, Vinnie Johnson's buzzer beater in the 90 Finals, Drexler winning with Houston instead of Portland, Sean Elliot's buzzer beater in the 99 West Finals, meltdown in 2000 West Finals, B Roy's knee. Ay.

Bill Simmons

  (4:03 PM)

I think they're there. 2012 will be the 35th anniversary of the '77 team and really, it will have been a 35-year run that ranks against anyone in any sport for a single team.

Dan (San Diego)

I thought you said your favorite part of the job was the topless pools in Vegas during summer league?

Raymond (Seattle, WA)

Hey Shane in Portland. Wanna trade?

Ahmed (Flint, Michigan )

Did the Miami Heat forget that in NBA vernacular, the phrase "closing in on picking up Erick Dampier" is synonymous with "closing in on inevitable failure"?

Jason (Denver, CO)

I'm a lifelong Bruins fan, and love hockey to death (and welcome newcomers to the sport wholeheartedly!) and I'm curious how you feel about the Seguin bandwagon, unless you've already gotten off. Let me guess: Flat, not a lot of scenery, a couple of nice views, but the Driver keeps telling you it's going to soon be like The Grand Canyon filled with rain forests and Eiffel Towers with rainbows floating on unicorns everywhere.

Bill Simmons

  (4:07 PM)

I haven't cared about regular season hockey since the mid-90's and Seguin has me caring... if I'm home and they are on, I'm flipping over for the 3rd periods or sticking it one of the 4 TV's in the Man Cave. So that's progress right? I still need Jacobs to sell before I can fully come back 12 months a year.

Trevor (MN)

Stop it Bill. Portland doesn't even BEGIN to compare to the Vikings. 4 Super Bowls = 0 wins. Favored in two of them (for sure that I remember), Darin Nelson, a perfect Gary Anderson, Brett Favre throwing across his body... I can keep going. Losing to the Giants in the NFC Championship game by 40+, want more? Did I mention the "Love Boat" or Randy Moss x2? How about Brad Childress being our coach? I can keep going...

Bill Simmons

  (4:08 PM)

You guys win for the worst 45 year span.

JG (Houston)

What is your best homer argument? Mine is I am adament the 93-94 Rockets would have beat Jordan's Bulls. He always played average against them, and the Bulls had no answer for Hakeem. Rockets in 6 and for the love of God I will not be talked out of this.

Bill Simmons

  (4:10 PM)

Mine is that had Lenny Bias lived, A) Jordan wouldn't have won a title until 1995 or 1996, B) Magic only would have won 3 titles, and C) Bird/McHale wouldn't have broken down and would be known as the No. 3 and No. 24 best players respectively.

Josh (Naples, FL)

The Detroit Lions when any span during the past 60 years, the curse of Bobby Lane. We even see Portland's Greg Oden and raise Matthew Stafford, he actually has shown his talent making his injury that much more devastating. Oh and don't get a Lions fan started on Charles Rodgers. WORST pro franchise ever, sell the team Ford family.

Bill Simmons

  (4:10 PM)

Fine you can have the 60-year span honors.

Sean (London UK)

When TP-Longoria went down, I pulled the numbers on first post-divorce filing games for as many NBA players as I could find. Wade, Shaq and most anyone who plays the 2-5 are abysmal. Point guards, on the other hand, are dominant. Nash: 21pts, 13 dimes, 0 TOs. Kidd: 10pts 14 assists 8 boards. Parker: 24 pts, 10 dimes and a remarkable (for him) 2-2 from beyond the arc. What does this say about the PG position? Is the sweet serenity of massaging a well-oiled offensive machine a different feeling altogether for the just-separated working male than the harsh reminder of failure to deliver at home when you're playing a position that demands delivering buckets?

Bill Simmons

  (4:11 PM)

"Coming up next on Outside the Lines!"

Mark (Cleveland)

Is it wrong that I get angry when people think their city/team is more tortured than ours?

Bill Simmons

  (4:11 PM)

You win the "worst last five decades for an entire sports city as a whole" award.

Wally (Yuma, AZ)

and one more thing on nash. Would you try and send him to the Knicks for a monster offer from that buffoon Dolan? Nash and the video game rock band for draft picks out the as* and whatever else I cant think of that I know you can at this moment. D'Antoni would have open arms I'd like to think at this point

Bill Simmons

  (4:13 PM)

I want to see Nash end up in Orlando. There's something here - maybe Nash, Hedo, Jason Richardson and $3 million for Jameer, Vince, Brandon Bass and 2 No. 1's, something like that. Or even just Nash and Richardson for Vince, Jameer and picks. Or a three-teamer where Jameer goes somewhere else and Phoenix gets a 1st rounder from a 3rd party and just promotes Dragic. Something.

Bill Simmons

  (4:14 PM)

PS: I say that as a Nash fan and not a Celtics fan... as a Celtics fan, I don't want Orlando to get Nash under any circumstances.

Dave (Reno)

where is your clever ESPN commercial where you're under a tight deadline and the Holy Cross Mascot is cheering you on from your poorly lit cubicle?

Bill Simmons

  (4:14 PM)

they keep rejecting the idea... what's wrong with them?

Paul (Jersey City, NJ)

I am a weekly attendee at a "Gamblers Anonymous" meeting. Every week we pick a topic, relating to our compulsive gambling, to discuss. Last weeks topic was "Bill Simmons".

Bill Simmons

  (4:15 PM)

I'm honored! Thank you!

Daily Bugle editor (Portland, Maine)

Hi Bill,You're a huge Shawshank fan. Did you ever wonder how the Portland Daily Bugle was able to have the story of "corruption at Shawshank" on the front page of the paper the same morning that Andy broke out?

Bill Simmons

  (4:17 PM)

Look, there are a lot of things to wonder about in that last 20 minutes. Why didn't he shimmy further down the sewage pipe to the last possible spot before breaking it open? Why didn't anyone in town know that there was an escaped convict on the loose? How did the Warden's suit fit Andy when Andy was 8 inches taller? How did the suit get dry, and why didn't it smell like sewage? Who gave Andy a ride to the Buxton cornfield so he could put Red's money and letter under the special rock, and how did he get to Mexico from there?

Bill Simmons

  (4:17 PM)

Look, there are a lot of things to wonder about in that last 20 minutes. Why didn't he shimmy further down the sewage pipe to the last possible spot before breaking it open? Why didn't anyone in town know that there was an escaped convict on the loose? How did the Warden's suit fit Andy when Andy was 8 inches taller? How did the suit get dry, and why didn't it smell like sewage? Who gave Andy a ride to the Buxton cornfield so he could put Red's money and letter under the special rock, and how did he get to Mexico from there?

Levi (Holland)

One more thing to add to the commercial. Trying to meet that tight deadline while typing with 2 fingers

Mike C (Philly)

I've been dying to ask - who the heck is the "rusty steak knife" guy that plays at the beginning of all your BS reports?!

Bill Simmons

  (4:19 PM)

His name is Ronald Jenkees - look him up on You Tube. He wrote the BS Report theme for me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvCaK1_CRCo

Andy (Southie MA)

Bill,Is your ability to pick NFL games going to go on "hiatius" while you are on the TBOB book tour? I may have to take into account the "Simmon's Jetlag Affect" for future wagers. Andy

Bill Simmons

  (4:21 PM)

Oh - there's no doubt that I will finish 4-12 that week. Lock it down. Never fails. I;m just trying to build up a big enough cushion over .500 until that weekend.

Peter (Knox)

How'd you like The Town?

Bill Simmons

  (4:23 PM)

I saw "The Town" twice. I loved it. The first time I watched it, I was too distracted by the Boston scenes and the Charlestown scenes and there was so much going on that I started to look like Mike Shanahan. So I had to go a second time to watch it like a real movie. I just love bank robbery movies. There should just be a TV show where people rob banks and never got caught - I always end up rooting for them even though they are always awful people and there's always that one guy in the gang who goes too far and butt-ends the back manager with his rifle. And yet, i'm rooting for him. I'm telling you: bank robberies, the show! I would watch this.

Connor (Newberg,OR) [via mobile]

Who is the MVP in the NFL? Mike Vick or Phillip Rivers?

Bill Simmons

  (4:25 PM)

I don't have either in my top-2 (has to be Brady/Manning in some order right now) but I think either Rivers or Vick will end up winning it. They need to bank a few more weeks of wins. If Rivers goes 10-6 and wins the AFC West, he should get it - no question. I just can't say he's the favorite on a 5-5 team that might be 5-6 after the Indy game this week. This isn't the Cy Young where you're just evaluating individual stats - you need to be on a playoff team to be an NFL MVP. Period.

Lee Compson (Warsaw IN)

TNT's Leverage is all about robbing banks. Except it's boring. But good luck with that!

Bill Simmons

  (4:25 PM)

Is this true???? I never knew what it was about! That's probably a bad sign for the effectiveness of their promos.

Patrick (Pasadena, CA)

"NFL back to LA" question: when it happens, do I give it a go with the incoming franchise (and who IS the incoming franchise?) or do I stick it out with my lifelong team, STL?

Bill Simmons

  (4:27 PM)

Depends if you're from St. Louis, if you're from LA and root for the Rams because you started rooting for them when they were in LA and then they moved, or if you just randomly picked the Rams. If you randomly picked them, you have to stay with the Rams. For the other 2 scenarios, you can switch.

Dre (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

Bill can you enlighten me on an issue i have with American sports' fans? why is it that you guys don't have any real chants at your sporting events? For example, here in Brazil, every soccer team has around 10-12 songs that they're teams sing, usually about the other teams' daughters and mothers, but anyway anything sounds great when sung by 80 thousand people. How come all you guys have are " Defense! Defense!" chants?

Bill Simmons

  (4:28 PM)

I'm with you Dre - we do a terrible job and that's one of the reasons I created the @celticschants Twitter account. I don't have an explanation other than that after I'm appointed Sports Czar, I'm going to hire a Secretary of Chant Coordination.

Drew (South Jersey)

You're fooling yourself if you think Roger Goodell isn't going to "David Stern" the MVP voting in Vick's favor.

Tiger Woods (FLA)

Do you have any single friends? I am looking for a date for Thanksgiving.

Nick (Chicago)

I know you had Daniel Tosh as a potential winner of your comedian of the year for 2010, but is Jay Pharoah making a late push? He is seriously the only bright-spot this year outside a few of their guest hosts!

Bill Simmons

  (4:30 PM)

I'd say Stewart and Colbert are co-favorites after the success of their rally a few weeks ago, right?

Kevin (Honolulu)

Need a sports equivalent for Dave Grohl. Someone who took over or went to a new team after a tragic loss of superstar and had a great career even though it will never compare to short career as a supporting cast member on the superstar's team.

Bill Simmons

  (4:32 PM)

Great question. I don't think Dave Grohl can be compared to anyone in sports - he's basically a two-sport athlete because of the drums/guitar thing, so it would be like if Scottie Pippen won the 1991 title with Jordan, Jordan died, then Scottie went to the NFL and made the All-Pro team 5 times as a tight end.

Justin (Minneapolis)

Vince Young was asked to leave the Titans facility...I think the Vikings should trade for him. Thoughts?

Bill Simmons

  (4:33 PM)

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5843438

Bill Simmons

  (4:34 PM)

Vince needs to go warm-weather and to one of the two crappy West divisions. I'm thinking the Cardinals.

Desperate Marlins Fan (Wade County)

Any thoughts on the Sox moving Papelbon to make room for Bard?

Bill Simmons

  (4:35 PM)

You mean, other than "I hope it happens?"

Bill Simmons

  (4:35 PM)

You mean, other than "I hope it happens?"

Luke (WI)

If you could rebuild one arena/stadium that has been demolished what would it be?

Bill Simmons

  (4:36 PM)

You mean, other than the Boston Garden?

Michael (Los Angeles)

For the Grohl question, how about Mark Messier becoming the alpha dog for Edmonton after Gretzky was traded, and leading the Oilers to one more Cup win?

Bill Simmons

  (4:36 PM)

And then, going to play baseball.

jason: chandler,az [via mobile]

Have u ever walked out on a movie? My only one is major league 2.

Bill Simmons

  (4:37 PM)

Two: Pee Wee's Playhouse and Mr. Deeds.

Greg (New Brunswick)

What do you put the chances at that Gasol will be more of an MVP candidate then Kobe at years end?

Bill Simmons

  (4:38 PM)

4-to-1. At some point Kobe is going to say, "All right, enough of this" and score 35-plus for 12 straight games and that will be that.

Peter (Santa Barbara)

Since you are the king of what ifs - how come you have never delved into the what if San Fransisco had picked Aaron Rodgers over Alex Smith in 2005 and what impact that would have had on the Brett Favre situation that we find ourselves in every year

Bill Simmons

  (4:39 PM)

Thank you! I like being the King of What Ifs. It's a good one but not nearly as good as "What if Miami had signed Drew Brees?" which ended up affecting Super Bowls and even college football.

Peter (Portland, OR)

Ever tried to get Vince McMahon on for a POD Cast?

Bill Simmons

  (4:40 PM)

I would love it. He'd never do it though. Besides, I'd much rather use any Vince time to try and convince him to do a two-hour Andre the Giant documentary with ESPN Films... that's on my wishlist of things to get done before 2016 when my daughter turns 12 and starts ruining my life.

Steve (Brooklyn,NY )

Whats your take on the whole Colin Campbell controversy? Shouldn't this be a much bigger story then it is? If this was the NFL it would receive Brett Favre like coverage.

Bill Simmons

  (4:41 PM)

Yes - should be a much bigger deal and I don't understand why ESPN isn't covering it like so.

Rob (Philly)

when does this end? i'm done work soon and want to know if i should hurry home to catch the end of it

Bill Simmons

  (4:41 PM)

Soon. By 5:00 ET. I still haven't eaten lunch yet and I am going to start typing weird things soon. Nobody wants that.

Eric F (Minneapolis)

I was recently watching Sleeping with the Enemy (don't ask) and could not beleive how much the Ben Woodward character looks like Pau Gasol. My question is: how can People magazine put out a sexiest man alive every year if the previous year's sexiest man did not die or become mangled in a car wreck?

Bill Simmons

  (4:45 PM)

Great question - I don't have an answer. But I love your Gasol point. I always get sucked into that movie because I love Julia Roberts' abusive husband, it's one of the most over the top performances by an actor EVER and I don't think the guy ever worked again. You couldn't even release a parody of that movie because it's already a parody. It's actually a running joke with me and my wife - if she snaps at me I will use the guy's weird accent and say, "Now now, I'm not crazy about your tone" and then we both laugh, right up to the point where I force her to have sex to Symphonie Fantastique and then stack all of our canned goods in the cabinet.

Bill Simmons

  (4:45 PM)

See, I told you I'd start getting weird. I need to eat. LAU-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

rich (VA)

How excited are you for the remake of "True Grit"?

Bill Simmons

  (4:46 PM)

Extremely. I've gone from being anti-Coen Brothers to conditionally for them depending on the movie. This one looks like it's right in their wheelhouse.

Jonathan (Phoenix)

what is your over/under for the year that MJ admits on some 60 minutes interview that he got banished from the league for gambling in 93-94?

Bill Simmons

  (4:47 PM)

2029.

Trevor (Indianapolis)

I've tried for five hours to get one question posted. I've been whitty, topical and persistant. Why cant I quit you Bill Simmons?

Bill Simmons

  (4:47 PM)

Well why dontcha!

Dave (Vancouver, BC)

Your personal favourite 30 for 30?

Bill Simmons

  (4:49 PM)

My favorite was the Marcus Dupree one because it exemplified everything we ever wanted from the series - not a typical subject of a sports doc, only it was told in a way that sucked you in whether you knew who he was or not. I was really proud that it got such a fantastic rating, it showed me that people trusted the series and they knew that if we were giving someone 2 hours, it was going to be worth it.

Chris (Philadelphia)

Should I be as pumped as I am to see the Fighter? Or are there rumors out there in LA that it's going to suck?

Bill Simmons

  (4:50 PM)

Word on the street is that it's terrific. Also: word on the street is that Wahlberg's hoops court that he mentioned on 60 Minutes is only 8-foot rims. No joke.

Kobe Bryant (Newport Beach, Ca)

Bill, I know you better have owned up to your mishandling of my pyramid placement in TBOB...

Bill Simmons

  (4:51 PM)

I moved you into the top 10, Mamba. You deserved it. And not even in 6 of every 24 copies... in every copy.

Carlos (Philadelphia)

Who do you like more: Mark or Donnie Wahlberg?

Bill Simmons

  (4:52 PM)

I am a huge Donnie fan. I support any celebrity who uses his money to follow his favorite teams around for big games.

Mike D (Chicago, IL)

What's your take on the new Dexter season?? How do you feel about Julia Stiles character Lumen????

Bill Simmons

  (4:53 PM)

Bailed. Dexter is like an erratic but talented band - you just don't know from season to season (or album to album) whether it will be good or not, but by the second episode/song, you know.

Alex (Tampa)

As a Laker fan I love all your 6-24 jokes because all I remember every time I see the reference is, "We beat the Celtics in a game 7 in which they had a double digit second half lead" One of the greatest sports days of my life...so keep it up Bill

Bill Simmons

  (4:54 PM)

Don't you pull that reverse psychology crap on me Alex. DON'T YOU DO IT!

Allen (Houston)

[i]In a follow-up interview with TSN, Colin Campbell admitted "it (the email content) was inappropriate. But no one told me or maybe told you five years ago that you can take your emails and read them all.". [/i]I had to google the story, because I didn't know what you were talking about. That quote is great.

Chris (NY)

Don't keep us waiting. Who are your NFL picks for Thursday?

Bill Simmons

  (4:56 PM)

I'm posting them tomorrow on Twitter -- check out www.twitter.com/sportsguy33. Rest of the picks will run on Friday as a "Quick Picks" column (probably 800 words). And if you're complaining about that - it's Friday of Thanksgiving Weekend!!!!!! Go out and spend some money on dumb things that are on sale for god's sake.

Marc (Dayton OH)

Guess who just youtubed Symphonie Fantastique? This guy. I don't think anything exemplifies a Bill Simmons piece better than forcing me to pause and open a new tab on my browser to explain your references. PS: Here's a link for Symphonie Fantastique. Look at the little clarinet riff at 1:40. Sexiest thing ever, no? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrezpUWIY98

Bill Simmons

  (4:58 PM)

Here's the trailer - you can see the creepy husband on it as well as a young Pau Gasol. Creepy Husband is awesome. I demand that someone puts all his creepy scenes on You Tube.

Brandon (Seattle)

It wasn't until midway through the first season of "The Wire" when I realized, "Hey, this show has almost no music in it! And that makes it even better!" Shouldn't that start a trend? Why don't more movies and TV shows trust the audience to feel an emotion without a musical cue? The only negative is that it kind of ruined Friday Night Lights for me, and it definitely ruined Lost.

Bill Simmons

  (4:59 PM)

I don't even have a response - I saw "The Wire" and just posted your question sight unseen.

Bill Simmons

  (4:59 PM)

I don't even have a response - I saw "The Wire" and just posted your question sight unseen.

Everyone who has a desk job (United States)

Thank you for a great chat!!!

Bill Simmons

  (5:00 PM)

You're welcome! I wrote a response to that last Wire question but it disappeared. Sorry.

Bill Simmons

  (5:00 PM)

You're welcome! I wrote a response to that last Wire question but it disappeared. Sorry.

Kevin (Edmonton)

Is it weird as a 41 year-old guy to have Kornheiser constantly talk about how young you are on PTI? How old does he think you are?

Bill Simmons

  (5:04 PM)

He thinks I'm 28. Don't tell anyone. BTW I have so much fun doing the show with him. I was in withdrawal yesterday when he was with Wilbon. It's an incredibly fun show to do and the producers make it impossible to fail. I think I'm mediocre at best on TV so the fact that I can't derail that show can tell you something.

Mitchell (Atlanta )

I would love to get your opinion on Cowherd. I think the guy is hilarious but does have some ridiculous opinions.

Bill Simmons

  (5:10 PM)

It's his job to stir people up. That's what a sports radio host is supposed to do and that's why he gets listeners. When he stirs people up, I don't understand why people get so upset about it - he's doing everything for a reason. With that said, I disagreed with his Wall takes and didn't totally understand them. The thing I like about Colin is that he thinks out his angles and argues the hell out of them, and whether you agree with him or not, you end up saying, "that's how he feels and he thought about it." In that specific case, I didn't get his angle or his agenda. But I've had moments like that as well - sometimes you have an opinion in your head that doesn't come out exctly how you want it to come out. I hope that's what happened there.

Dave (Missoula)

Who's on your podcast bucket list? If you had your pick of any five guests who have never been on the B.S. Report, who's on that list? I'm guessing Nicholson and Letterman are at the top of your list. Others like Tiger and Obama would be good gets but probably dull interviews. Who else makes your cut?

Bill Simmons

  (5:13 PM)

Obama. Seinfeld. Larry David. Garry Shandling. Springsteen.

Mike (pittsburgh)

If you had Roger Godell on the BS report what are the 5 most important questions you'd ask him? and what do you think his response will be?

Bill Simmons

  (5:15 PM)

I'd really push him on the hypocrisy of pushing for player safety and yet also pushing for an 18-game schedule. Why the 2 orders, Colonel Jessup? I don't think he'd like it - he's used to eating dinner with writers over arguing with them.

Dylan (Chicago)

What's the Sports Gal's take on the Parker/Longoria situation (ducking)?

Bill Simmons

  (5:16 PM)

She always said they were doomed to fail because of the age difference - then again, she also said this about Ashton and Demi.

Sportsgal (Home)

Bill are you still chatting with your internet friends? The dog needs to be walked and your kids forget what you look like.

Bill Simmons

  (5:16 PM)

Good point. Let's wrap this up soon... couple more and then we're done.

Dave (Trenton)

Springsteen? you're an idiot. Springsteen makes music for white dorks. why would he be an interesting interview?

Bill Simmons

  (5:17 PM)

You're from Jersey and you wrote that? See you in hell, Dave from Trenton. SEE YOU IN HELL!

Brian (Dallas)

If you could be granted a one-hour interview with any athlete hooked up to a lie detector, who would it be?

Bill Simmons

  (5:18 PM)

Jordan.

Nate (Boston)

I'm a Mets fan. And screw you for not thinking we're tortured. Start with Piazza getting the bat to his head, the Art Howe years, Beltran watching strike 3, The Collapse, The Collapse Redux, the Year of the Injuries, the Phillies AND Yankees winning it all.... my point is we're tortured. So PLEASE give us credit...

Bill Simmons

  (5:19 PM)

Oh, poor you - you won a World Series within the last 25 years thanks to a single, a single, a single, a wild pitch and an error all with 2 outs when you were down 2. Lemme get my hankerchief.

Rick C (Boston MA)

Do you agree you could have essentially based a Fantasy Basketball draft entirely on the Team USA players from this summer, given how the first 4 weeks have gone? You could potentially have taken something along the lines of 1)Westbrook/Curry, 2)Gay, 3)Love, 4)Gordon, 5)Odom in your first 5 rounds depending on your pick and completely run away with any league..

Bill Simmons

  (5:22 PM)

That's a great point. Even by the round it would have worked. I asked Kevin Love about that on my podcast and he said that playing for Coach K for those weeks was like going to an awesome basketball camp... so maybe that's why. One thing's for sure: let's all agree that it would have helped Chris Bosh.

Tom (Kansas City)

what about your hypocrisy on saying the season can't be made longer for safety reason, then getting upset that they are serious about head injuries? Seems that head injuries are far more serious to long term health than all other injuries that you would get in a longer season. I bet you just don't want a longer season because it makes it harder for you in Fantasy football/3 team teases.

Bill Simmons

  (5:24 PM)

I wasn't upset that they got more serious about head injuries. But you can't do it retroactively to that week's games - you have to say, "going forward, here are the new fining methods."

Jack (Barcelona Spain)

You should add "Studying Abroad" on the list with Going to a warm weather school, not getting married til 35, etc. Watching the Lakers lose to Barcelona (and then see them 5 feet away hours later at the club) was only the 25th coolest thing i've done in the past 3 months (and that was freakin sweet)

Bill Simmons

  (5:25 PM)

Yup. Always study abroad for at least a semester. Don't let your loyalty to your buddies affect the decision - just go. It's 4 months and you'll have your whole life to hang out with them.

Tim (Pflugerville, TX)

Any advice for a soon-to-be father?

Bill Simmons

  (5:26 PM)

Sleep now.

Steve (Merritt Island, Florida)

Were you at last night's Clippers victory versus the Hornets, and what were some of your impressions?

Bill Simmons

  (5:29 PM)

Wasn't impressed by NO but it was a back to back. I do think they're going to struggle against athletic teams a little. The Clips are the most endearing 2-13 team ever - the Bledsoe/Griffin/Aminu/Gordon quarter is extremely likable and they play their butts off. I'm shocked by how good Aminu is. Thought he was going to be a bust and he's a little Pippen-y. And you can't leave your seat when Blake's out there, you just never know when a "Whoa!" play is coming.

Yetti (Southampton, PA)

Ok this chat really needs to end now, PTI is about to come on.

Bill Simmons

  (5:30 PM)

Yup. Watch PTI. Thanks for all the questions: nearly 56k overall! And enjoy your Thanksgiving... safe travels.