Chat with DJ Gallo
Welcome to SportsNation! On Tuesday, Page 2 columnist DJ Gallo will stop by to chat about his NFL Offseason Pigskinpalooza and to crank out his sarcasm and wit.
Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the award-winning sports satire site SportsPickle.com, while being a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine. He is also the authoer of "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck."
Send your questions now and join Gallo to chat Tuesday at 2 p.m. ET!
DJ Gallo (2:01 PM)
Hello, SportsNation. It's been a long time since I saw you. My, you sure have grown! /pats you on the head //pinches your cheeks ///asks you to go fetch me a beer
DJ Gallo (2:02 PM)
As always, anything is on the table in this chat, especially all the big news in sports: Manning, Tebow, other NFL moves, the NCAA Tournament, the Pittsburgh Pirates, etc.
Chris Fiegler (Latham,NY)
Where do you think that Quarterback Tim Tebow will play for in 2012?
DJ Gallo (2:03 PM)
First of all, Tim Tebow thanks you for referring to him as a "quarterback." Not many people do that. Second ...
DJ Gallo (2:05 PM)
... I can see him staying with the Broncos. The trade market isn't that great for him right now and I can see Elway promising Tebow that he can learn from Manning for a few years and then takeover as the starter ... and then Elway will sign another quarterback to start in Tebow's place, and will proceed to point and laugh at Tebow, knowing he has ruined the prime of his career. It's the worst thing Elway can do to Tebow, so he will definitely do that.
Jeff M (Albany, NY)
Which was your favorite Hines Ward dance?
DJ Gallo (2:05 PM)
1) paso doble2) touchdown3) salsaBut then I'm a purest.
Dan (Connecticut )
What is your favorite article that you wrote?
DJ Gallo (2:07 PM)
Hmmm. I don't think I really have a favorite. Although without fail, the stuff I'm really happy with is usually met with crickets or tons of e-mails like "you should be fired" and "I hope you die of cancer" and "your the worst writer ever, moran!"
DJ Gallo (2:08 PM)
So it would probably be best for my career if I throw out every idea I have that I really like.
DJ, have you had a chance to look back and reflect on the greatness that is "Hobo with a shotgun"??
DJ Gallo (2:09 PM)
I have yet to see "Hobo with a Shotgun." As a noted hobo enthusiast, or hobthusiast, I fear being let down by the movie.
Dang! What happened to the turtleneck picture yo?
DJ Gallo (2:11 PM)
First of all, it was a MOCK turtleneck. Get it? I was laughing in the face of turtlenecks. That's simply the kind of courage I carry around within me. Second, I don't think I've had that picture on my columns for about 5 years.
DJ Gallo (2:11 PM)
I appreciate you and all of my loyal readers.
Tebow. Not a question. I'm just saying...
DJ Gallo (2:11 PM)
Tim Tebow (Denver -- for now)
DJ, I just wanted you to be the first to know that I will be taking my talents to Pittsburgh, where I'll replace that evil sinner Ben Roethlisberger at QB and lead the Steelers to multiple 8-win seasons!
DJ Gallo (2:14 PM)
Another reason I think Tebow possibly stays in Denver is semi-seriously your 8-win season idea. Tebow will probably end up being a lot like Doug Flutie. When he get a chance to start throughout his career, he'll go 8-8 or 9-7 or 10-6. And then that team's front office will think: "JUST IMAGINE HOW AWESOME WE'D BE WITH A BETTER QUARTERBACK!" Then they'll dumb Tebow and bring in someone else who will go 6-10 but look potentially awesome.
DJ Gallo (2:15 PM)
or "dump Tebow" that is. That was a typo. I didn't mean to question the intelligence of someone with a Florida education.
AJ Burnett (Pittsburgh)
I think I just gave myself 3rd degree burns on my throwing hand while baking cookies.
DJ Gallo (2:16 PM)
Miguel Cabrera fractured his orbital bone yesterday. AJ BURNETT: BASEBALL TRENDSETTER.
Seriously, no funny captions lately. You make me sad.
DJ Gallo (2:16 PM)
Send me a picture and I will gladly caption it. "Here's a picture of Ross (SLC). What a handsome fellow."
You're up against Barry Melrose and he won't answer any of my questions about mullets! Will you?
DJ Gallo (2:18 PM)
How do you know he won't answer your mullet questions? His chat just started. By the way, I heard that he speaks of mullets in code. When he's talking about "hockey," he really means "mullets."
DJ Gallo (2:19 PM)
By the way, I think there are at least five other SportsNation chats going on right now. So I will attempt to stand out from the pack and pull in the masses by intermittently Live-Chatting the Tigers-Braves spring training game ...
DJ Gallo (2:20 PM)
Just Verlander is getting hit pretty hard so far today. Verlander and Roy Halladay will be the worst pitchers in baseball this season. PASS IT ON.
With Evgeni Malkin playing the best hockey of his career and Sidney Crosby now back (hopefully for good), are the Penguins the Stanley Cup favorites? Oh, wait... this isn't the Melrose chat.
DJ Gallo (2:21 PM)
a) Yes. b) I hope you didn't submit a hobo question to Mr. Melrose.
Craig (St. Paul, MN)
How excited are you for the return of Mad Men?
DJ Gallo (2:22 PM)
I am an 8 on a scale of 10 afternoon glasses of whiskey.
Jim (Oil City)
I missed the Ike Taylor chat, so can you pretend to be him and answer this question: "How does it feel to have been the goat of Hines Ward's last game in a Steelers uniform?"
DJ Gallo (2:23 PM)
Ouch. Well, if Hines Ward was as great a receiver as Julian Edelman, maybe he could have been playing defensive back on that play and tackled Thomas. Didn't think of that, did you? HINES WARD. NOT A HALL OF FAMER. NOT SCRAPPY ENOUGH TO PLAY DEFENSIVE BACK!!!
Squall (Balamb Garden)
Better Bobcats right now: Charlotte (NBA) or Ohio (NCAA)?
DJ Gallo (2:24 PM)
3) Charlotte; 2) Ohio; 1) Goldthwait.
DJ Gallo (2:25 PM)
So the Braves rolled out an lineup today featuring Eric Hinske and Matt Diaz. If you can stock your lineup with old, failed Pirates, you have to do it.
Whines Hard ended his career the right way today. He forearmed Tomlin in the back while ref wasn't looking
DJ Gallo (2:27 PM)
Ahhh, I see what you did there. Good one. That *would* be an appropriate way for him to end his career. It would be like when Ray Lewis and Ed Reed retire and Joe Flacco inevitably whines about not getting any credit for their greatness.
Peter Rees (St. Louis)
If ESPN were a Sportsnation chatter, it would be DJ Gallo.
DJ Gallo (2:28 PM)
ESPN wins countless awards, is highly profitable and is a cultural icon. But I think this comparison is the company's finest moment.
The NCAA tournament? Please, the only college basketball tournament that matter is the CBI...which featured the powerhouse Pitt team taking down Princeton.
DJ Gallo (2:31 PM)
So far Pitt hasn't ruined my CBI Tournament bracket, unlike what they do to my NCAA Tournament bracket every year. But it's tough to brag about your CBI bracket. When you talk about your NCAA bracket, lots of people roll their eyes and sigh or walk away. Bring up your CBI bracket? I've been hit with a shovel. Twice.
DJ Gallo (2:32 PM)
Braves-Tigers UPDATE: The game is on a commercial break. A great opportunity for the players to rest. Spring training can be exhausting.
The CollegeInsider.com Tournament is down to the Elite 8. Who you got? Personally, I think this is Mercer's year.
DJ Gallo (2:33 PM)
Oh, come on. Loyola Marymount is the obvious favorite. It's like you don't even follow mediocre college basketball.
Hey, DJ: How are you spending all of your free time since the demise of the Page 2 podcast? Do you still find yourself randomly handing out game balls and mumbling that people should "stay classy"?
DJ Gallo (2:35 PM)
No. I haven't been handing out game balls or stay classy awards. But definitely mumbling. So in a way the old podcast still lives on.
DJ Gallo (2:36 PM)
The time I spent doing the podcast is now spent doing a few extra blogs a week for Page 2 and also working on the promised new version of the podcast.
DJ Gallo (2:37 PM)
I think you'll really like the new Page 2 Podcast Goes Broadway! The dance numbers are great. Philbrick has great gams.
What are the odds that Chipper pulls a coup, becoming the first player-manager in decades, relegating Fredi to teaching high schoolers how to bunt when you're down by 4 runs?
DJ Gallo (2:38 PM)
Fredi Gonzalez and Clint Hurdle should go on a nationwide barnstorming tour teach the youth of America how to waste outs.
DJ Gallo (2:40 PM)
Okay, update: Verlander has now set down eight Braves in a row. So scratch that previous prediction. Only Roy Halladay will be the worst pitcher in baseball. Verlander has been upgraded to: MEDIOCRE.
Larry Jones (Atlanta)
Could people PLEASE stop calling me "Chipper". I'm about to turn 40.
DJ Gallo (2:41 PM)
I know, right? Use your real, given name like a grown man. I can't respect someone who uses a non-name in place of their first name.
great now i can't NOT think of the image of Philbrick's gams...
DJ Gallo (2:42 PM)
I'm not going to lie. They're not perfect. There's some cellulite. Page 2 Power Fudge is fairly high in calories.
DJ Gallo (2:43 PM)
Tigers-Braves UPDATE: Jair Jurrjens just threw a pitch and fell down. Let's say he's "questionable for Opening Day." It's the Official Diagnosis(tm) of MLB trainers.
Why doesn't Brian Scalabrine get more credit?
DJ Gallo (2:45 PM)
Brian Scalabrine ... NBA Tebow? If he does anything positive, the crowd goes wild. Also, they both have amazing muscle tone.
Anthony Davis' uni-brow.....discuss.
DJ Gallo (2:47 PM)
Anthony Davis is in a very delicate portion of his career. He's becoming famous while sporting a half-inch thick unibrow. If he's going to tweeze that thing into two normal, human eyebrows, he needs to do it now before the unibrow becomes so famous that he can't get rid of it ... like Rollie Fingers' mustache or Brian Wilson's beard.
DJ Gallo (2:48 PM)
And so concludes my NCAA Tournament ANALYSIS.
DJ Gallo (2:49 PM)
Whoa. 12 minutes until Peyton Manning's press conference. Will he address his infatuation with horses?
Craig (St. Paul, MN)
What has to happen before Northwestern can make the NCAA Tournament?
DJ Gallo (2:50 PM)
Getting good basketball players would be a great first step.
DJ Gallo (2:51 PM)
Tigers-Braves UPDATE: Prince Fielder just hit the ball into right field and was NOT thrown out at first. The Tigers have to be excited that he's already in regular season shape.
Eli M (NYC)
Peyton likes horsies :)
DJ Gallo (2:53 PM)
I think it's time we retire the "Eli Manning is a dumb little boy" jokes. At least it's time for you all to retire them. I'd still like to use them. Frequently. Thanks!
go red wing wer better thean the penguins
DJ Gallo (2:54 PM)
They're very good. But did you say something about thetans? I don't think Scientology has much of an impact on the Stanley Cup playoffs.
DJ Gallo (2:55 PM)
Tigers-Braves UPDATE: Jhonny Peralta looks to be in pretty good shape. I trust his Tigers teammates are mocking him for that.
hins ward is a wosy im a browns fan for life
DJ Gallo (2:56 PM)
This guy is 10 out of 10 afternoon cocktails excited for the Mad Men season.
Tom Cruise (Hollywood)
Scientology has an impact on all things.
DJ Gallo (2:57 PM)
I often watch playoff hockey while jumping up and down on my couch, so we have that in common.
DJ Gallo (2:58 PM)
Tigers-Braves UPDATE: There is a reliever in the game for the Tigers who has a goatee. Let's see if this facial hair style catches on throughout baseball. I am skeptical.
DJ Gallo (2:59 PM)
Alright. The chat is over. It's Peyton Manning press conference time. Plus, Eric Hinske is batting. I've got excitement overload.