The Sochi Olympic Games are a few short weeks away, which means it's about time to be totally brutal about Team USA's sartorial choices. Here's what American athletes will be wearing in the parade of nations:

We're undecided. On one hand, that uniform is pretty obviously American; on the other, it looks like the third-place winner at a particularly competitive ugly sweater contest. Paul Lukas called the uniforms ''not exactly subtle,'' although he did praise Team USA's classy silver podium jackets. Honestly, as long as Team USA wins a whole bushel of medals, we don't care what the athletes wear.

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