Look, we're not great athletes. That's why we're writing instead of competing.
But we -- meaning you, us, everyone -- surely could throw a better first pitch than the one tossed by rapper/business mogul Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson at the New York Mets' home game against the Pittsburgh Pirates on Tuesday night. Right?
Just ... watch.
Here's a pitch-by-pitch breakdown of 50's night:
Our data scientists have confirmed that 50 Cent's first pitch was awful... pic.twitter.com/VYxThhs1vS— SportsNation (@SportsNation) May 28, 2014
... and some expert analysis from the Los Angeles Lakers' Nick Young, who had his own mound misadventure earlier this season:
50 cent won lol— Nick Young (@NickSwagyPYoung) May 28, 2014
Lastly, if you're dying to know how 50 Cent's amazingly awful toss stacks up to other first pitch fails, check out this compilation.