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May 29, 8:14 AM ET
Chat with Bill Simmons

Bill Simmons
  (12:28 PM)

What's happening? I am still in mourning over the tragic events of 5/22, maybe this chat will cheer me up. Let's get to the questions...

Smitty (Boston)

So now that we've had a week to reflect on the tragedy that was the NBA Lottery, some more rational thoughts? I'm personally still distraught...

Bill Simmons
  (12:32 PM)

My only rational thought is that I wish I hadn't been so optimistic about 38.7% odds. I don't know what I was thinking. We didn't even have 2 in 5 odds. But I'm talking myself into something positive happening at No. 5. it's like when the Deal or No Deal contestants pull the "That's okay, that's okay" routine after the last big suitcase goes away. It just took me awhile to get into that mode. And a lot of drinks.

Dave - Pittsburgh PA

What type of chat are we shooting for here today? The two, three or four-hour long variety? Just so I know how long I'll be completely unproductive for...

Bill Simmons
  (12:33 PM)

We're going to be wrapping things up between 2:30 and 2:45 ET depending on how many quality questions we get. So you should still have a job at the end of the day.

Greg (Columbus, OH)

What size would you like your Durant SuperSonics Jersey to be?

Bill Simmons
  (12:33 PM)

That hurts.

Chuck (Manchester NH)

Bill, since Stern & Jackson killed the Suns-Spurs series, I've lost 5 pounds, read two books, and rekindled the romance in my marriage. Can you relay my thanks to the NBA Overlords?

Bill Simmons
  (12:35 PM)

Absolutely. I have to say, I've never been less interested in the Conference Finals. Maybe it's a hangover from the tragic events of 5/22, I don't know. But watching this Cavs-Pistons series is like pulling teeth. Have you ever seen a Final 4 team with worse coaching and a worse offense than the Cavs? It's like watching 5 complete strangers playing pickup with a drunk from the neighborhood yelling instructions at them.

Adam (York, PA)

Bill, as you look back on your karma analysis of the Lottery, have you reconsidered your point system? The 3 teams that tanked the most seemed to get punished the most.

Bill Simmons
  (12:36 PM)

Yeah, I should have weighted the tanking category more - should have made it worth 25 points. That was clearly the dealbreaker.

Yi Jianlain (China)

Can your dad make up his mind? Am I the Asian Stromile Swift or the Asian Brad Lohaus?

Bill Simmons
  (12:36 PM)

Dad is leaning towards Lohaus at this point. He said he wants to see Yi post up some more 5-foot-9 trainers before he delivers a final verdict.

Tim (Detroit)

Still laughing at the fact that you watch Deja Vu on draft day.

Bill Simmons
  (12:39 PM)

At least one of us is laughing. By the way, I received a ton of e-mails wondering why I left a $17 tip for lunch that day. We went to the Four Seasons lounge for lunch - two $19 burgers, Dad had a shrimp cocktail, I had a salad, he had an iced tea, I had a coke. We didn't even order a drink and the bill still came to something like $82 bucks. You have to love the Four Seasons. We splurged for lunch because we thought it was going to be a great day. Hold on, I might start crying again... gimme a second to regroup.

Steve (CT)

After watching the Trot Nixon lovefest last night, doesn't it anger you that the Sox honestly could've kept him for at least this year & saved themselves about 65 million? I mean watching J.D Drew every day is brutal. At least we knew Trot gave a crap (I do realize that the Sox have a huge lead right now but I need something to complain about right?).

Bill Simmons
  (12:40 PM)

I'm torn on this one because I do think they did the right thing in letting him go... his power numbers peaked in 2003, check out his stats from 2004-2006, they were positively pedestrian. And he could only play against righties.

Bill Simmons
  (12:42 PM)

With that said, I was vehemently against the JD Drew signing and wrote so at the time - I just don't think it's smart to spend $70 million on someone who provoked such universal scorn from the fans of the teams for which he played. It's not like every Dodgers/Cards/Braves fan didn't see this coming. But it's hard to complain about anything when they're 35-15 and leading the Yanks by 30 games.

Rick (Cook, NE)

A bald chick made the final 10 in the Miss Universe pageant last night, and no blondes did. Who was judging this thing, Dave Navarro and Michelle Kwan? Oh, really. Never mind.

Andrew, Huntingtion Beach, CA

I'd like to nominate Reggie Willits of the Angels to the Reggie Cleveland All-Stars.

Bill Simmons
  (12:45 PM)

Done and done. We may even have to change the name to the Reggie Willits All-Stars.

Davs (Washington, DC)

Hey Bill, doesn't Kristen Wiig have to go down as the hottest female cast member in SNL history? i mean, seriously, who else is even in the running?

Bill Simmons
  (12:47 PM)

Hmmmm... that's a great point. I always thought Victoria Jackson was kinda cute. Nancy Walls looked good during her one season. There was a British female cast member named Pamela Stephenson during the Crystal-Short-Guest season who was cute. It's not a long list.

Bill Simmons
  (12:48 PM)

PS: Not a bad SNL season this year. Every time they have a smaller cast, it's always a decent season. I continue to enjoy Bill Hader's work. And Samberg had some funny moments. It's really the ultimate TiVo show, you can blow through it in about 10 minutes.

Sean (C-town)

Can you state for the record why Danny Ferry is one of the worst GMs in the NBA. I just want to make sure all the Cleveland fans realize that LeBron will never win anything with this current lineup...THANKS!

Bill Simmons
  (12:50 PM)

I think he's a bad GM, but there were mitigating factors with his incompetence - they were terrified that they might lose LeBron, so that led to the Ilgauskas panic re-signing and the big contracts for Marshall and Jones, as well as the Hughes mega-contract. It was poorly played all the way around. I just think it's painful to watch them. You can't overstate how bad the Eastern Conference was this year. Every Western playoff team except LAL could have beaten Detroit in a series.

Tiny Cadon (East Providence, R.I.)

SG, do you think that annoying Foxwoods commercial with the couple who go there to reconnect was created by Stanley Kubrick, I feel like I'm in my own Clockwork Orange every time I turn on NESN???

Bill Simmons
  (12:51 PM)

I miss the "Wonder of it all" commercials... why did they stop? Why mess with success?

Gary Sheffield (Detroit)

I'm going to take Elijah Dukes under my wing. That's definitely what's best for him.

Bill Simmons
  (12:53 PM)

You know what's amazing about the Dukes thing? My buddy Hench pointed this out to me last week: Doc Gooden, Gary Sheffield, Elijah Dukes, Vance Lovelace, Carl Everett... all from the Tampa Hillsborough area! What the hell is going on there? Could somebody check the water?

Mike D (Atlanta, GA)

The passing of Charles Nelson Reilly got me thinking - with all of the reality TV on right now, can't we bring back the days of C-list celebrities helping regular shmoes win money? Or better yet, do "Stump the Schwab" where you're teamed with, say, Scott Pollard.

Bill Simmons
  (12:55 PM)

I'm glad you brought this up. First of all, RIP to Chaz N. Reilly, one of the all-time greats. But here's why we don't see those game shows with C-list celebs anymore - they're all doing reality shows. 30 years ago, if they had reality-TV, Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly would have been sharing a reality house with Nipsy Russell or something.

Lindsay Lohan

i'm so drunk right now....

Bill Simmons
  (12:56 PM)

Uh-oh, call her a cab!

josh a (miami, fl)

Bill, please give me one reason why a Spurs-Pistons Finals will be worth the time it takes to turn on the TV?

Bill Simmons
  (12:59 PM)

I actually think a Spurs-Pistons Finals will be infinitely better than the one 2 years ago - it won't be as much of a defensive clash and I might be in the minority here, but I like watching the 2007 Spurs, I like watching any basketball team that plays exceedingly well together, and they do. They get a bad rap. Also, I can't get enough of that Pussycat Dolls song. Really, keep it coming, ABC.

Jim Santi Orchestra (Mashantucket, Connecticut)

Take a chance Make it happen Pop the cork Fingers snapping Spin the wheel Round and Round we go Life is good, life is sweet Grab yourself a front row seat Let?s meet and have a ball Yeah...Let?s live for the wonder of it all.....Foxwoods

Jayson (Amherst, MA)

Enough with the Oden v. Durant arguments. Where do you stand on the fact that Maxim picked Lohan over Alba and Scarlett? What's up with that?

Bill Simmons
  (1:00 PM)

It was such an amazing miscalculation, I don't even know where to begin. Had to be a deal with her PR person. That's the only explanation.

Rob Thomas (hollywood)

Couldn't they have brought back "this is how a heart breaks" for the draft lottery? I need money.

Firooz (Kansas City)

Don't you think there should be an online gallery that archives all of Craig Sager's suits? Better yet, there could be a site that helps you get his look. Craig Sager is like brocolli. It took awhile, but I am a fan and believe that he is good for the body and the mind.

Bill Simmons
  (1:01 PM)

I like this idea. It could also be used as the color check for all televisions.

Ronalt (São Paulo - Brazil)

It's just me, or Kate (Evangeline Lilly) looks much better waking up in the island than with all that make up in that last scene of the season finale??? She looked lihe a hore... Ah, and do you have any thoughts about the season finale?

Bill Simmons
  (1:03 PM)

Yeah, she's one of those girls who looks better unshowered without makeup than dressed up with makeup on. It's a weird phenomenon. The MVP of this category was Stephanie from "Survivor." Alanis Morissette needs to be involved as well. And Jim Lampley. That would make for an interesting All-Star team. Any other suggestions?

Clinton (Indianapolis)

Bill, I know your *following the EPL this season* kinda fizzled out, but are you planning to give it another try in August, when the new season starts up?

Bill Simmons
  (1:04 PM)

I haven't given up on the EPL, just haven't had the time to properly throw myself into it. But you'll be happy to know that I watched the entire UEFA Final on Wednesday. VERY entertaining. I was rooting for Liverpool and couldn't possibly tell you why.

Ben B. (Strongsville, OH)

How about Tyler Perry on the cover of Madden '08?

Fernando (San Juan, PR)

I know you're a "Lost" fan, as are most smart people. Your thought on the "drop-your-jaw-on-the-floor, turn-life-upside-down season 3 finale?

Bill Simmons
  (1:06 PM)

Uh-oh, do I have to give a spoiler alert here? I mean., it's been six days. All right, spoiler alert to anyone who's been travelling or is serving overseas.

Bill Simmons
  (1:06 PM)

******SPOILER ALERT******

Bill Simmons
  (1:06 PM)

Bill Simmons
  (1:07 PM)

OK, my thoughts: That was one of the greatest season finales I can ever remember. It was like a movie. I watched it twice. The thing was, I was wondering if it was a flash-forward during the first scene, then I abandoned it in my head when Jack said his Dad was still alive...

Bill Simmons
  (1:10 PM)

But the final scene was incredible. I love the concept that the show might not necessarily end with them getting off the island, that we could have a final season where they're all adjusting to the real world again. (By the way, I subscribe to the "time machine" theory for the show. Look it up on the 'Net.) Anyway, it continues to be my favorite show other than the Wire.

Bill Simmons
  (1:11 PM)

I'd say more but I'm always terrified of spoiling a show now. We need to make a new law in this country - if you haven't seen the show within 5 days, everyone's allowed to talk about it. *****END SPOILER********

Joey (Canton, OH)

What were your thoughts on the 24 finale? You are right, DVR really is the best thing ever.

Bill Simmons
  (1:12 PM)

I stopped watching at the 2/3rd mark of the season when the Prez came out of a coma in one hour. I am not giving up on the show, just chalking it up to a crappy season. They need to re-invent it and move out of CTU, which they're doing. I would never give up on Jack Bauer.

Griff - Boston

please settle this ongoing debate: Is it possible to hit a home run at Fenway and land it on the Mass Pike?

Bill Simmons
  (1:13 PM)

Very possible. it's happened a number of times. You need the bounce off the parking lot behind the left field wall.

Tony Boston

Is Papelbon going Jose Mesalately, he is making some games interesting lately?

Bill Simmons
  (1:14 PM)

I still have complete confidence in him. You know what's great about the Papelbon Era? Varitek still gives him the affectionate, "Well done, Jonathan" cup to the head after every save. As long as that keeps happening, I'm not worried.

Portland fans...

cant you be happy for us???

Bill Simmons
  (1:16 PM)

Of course I'm happy for you. I love the Walton/Oden parallels and like the nucleus with Oden, Roy, Aldridge and whatever you get for Zack Randolph. The Randolph/Jamison trade rumor makes a ton of sense for both sides, it's almost too logical to ever actually happen.

Jason, Rio de Janeiro

Have I been out of English speaking countries for too long, or is Jeff Van Gundy actually being amusing- even downright funny at times during the western conference finals?

Bill Simmons
  (1:18 PM)

He's been great. I've thoroughly enjoyed the Breen-Jackson-JVG threesome, especially because every Mark Jackson comment when he gets excited makes him sound like Sam Jackson in "Time to Kill." YES THE JAZZ DESERVE TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL! But Van Gundy has been really good with the inside stuff, like his riff about Steve Javie being the best ref in the league last night.

Bill Simmons
  (1:20 PM)

That's what drives me crazy about some of the "famous" announcers who've been around for too long, like Packer/McCarver/Morgan/Madden - they've been out of their sports for so long, they're just not connected to them anymore, they don't have any inside info, it's all overanalysis and strong opinion to compensate for the fact that they don't have any inside info.

Bill Simmons
  (1:21 PM)

New rule: Every national color analyst should be required to hang it up if they've been out of their sport for more than 10 years.

Avril Lavigne (Beverly Hills CA)

I am in the process of writing the song for next year's NBA playoffs. It's gonna be the bomb.

Bill Simmons
  (1:21 PM)

I think it's between you, Josh Groban and Sanjaya.

Tim (Dallas)

I keep hearing the Randolph for Richard Jefferson rumor also. Doesn't that make more sense, since Jefferson is a 3 and Jamison is a tweener.

Bill Simmons
  (1:22 PM)

That's a good one, too. It's imperative that the Blazers trade Miles and Randolph before either of them have a chance to befriend Oden.

rob (philly)

I think the United States Basketball team has their PG for the next 2 Olympics. His name is Deron Williams.

Bill Simmons
  (1:24 PM)

I'm a huge fan of Williams, but let's not get carried away - he's doing this against Tony Parker (who's made many a PG look like a Hall of Famer over the years) and Bruce Bowen (who doesn't have the foot speed to stay in front of PG's anymore). Chris Paul would be ripping the Spurs up just the same.

Doug (Darien, IL)

Heard an interesting rumor on Mike and Mike. Kobe to the Bulls for Gordon and Deng. Would this be a good trade for the Bulls?

Bill Simmons
  (1:25 PM)

Look, the Lakers are NEVER trading Kobe. They command too much money for tickets - he's the reason why. They're not selling $350 tickets for Deng and Gordon. He's not going anywhere. Although I'm glad he finally spoke up against Mitch Kupchak, who's been particularly incompetent.

Bill Simmons
  (1:27 PM)

Whoops, had to delete that last question because of the stupid Spoiler Alert thing. I hate spolier alerts.

Kobe Bryant

I will consider staying in LA if you switch season tickets from the Clips to the Lakers? What do you say?

Bill Simmons
  (1:28 PM)

I am no longer a Clippers season ticket holder. So that's not gonna work.

Nick (Ames)

Please tell me you saw Miss USA fall last night during the Miss Universe evening gown competition - followed by her ultimately making the top 5 and getting booed and whistled at every opportunity by the Mexican crowd.

Bill Simmons
  (1:29 PM)

Missed it but the Sports Gal was delighted when it happened and made me come over to the TV to watch the big fall. I love the fact that Mario Lopez was involved. He's living Marc-Paul Gosselaar in the dust at this point.

Nasser (Phoenix, AZ)

You are starting a franchise and you get to pick between Tim Duncan at the height of his prime of Shaq at his zenith. Who you taking?

Bill Simmons
  (1:30 PM)

Shaq at his zenith was more dominant than Duncan at his zenith. But that's the thing about Shaq - he played two MONSTER years and a ton of good ones, but Duncan was consistently better and more dominant, and he had a greater effect on his teammates. If you were picking between them for a 12-year span, you'd have to take Duncan. You'd have to.

Adam (York, PA)

Bill, you said, "New rule: Every national color analyst should be required to hang it up if they've been out of their sport for more than 10 years." You just eliminated Bill Raftery. NO WAY! Raft gets an exemption from this rule!

Bill Simmons
  (1:31 PM)

Agreed. So does Jerry Remy.

Cory (Warren, OH)

After watching the Lost finale, is it safe to say that Jack had the greatest suicidal beard of our generation?

Bill Simmons
  (1:32 PM)

Better than Ron Burgundy? Or me after the Celtics landed the 5th pick last week? I dunno.

Sean: (Raleigh, NC)

Did you see the "source" that said Vick was a heavyweight in dog fighting? Why do they still do the blacked out face and such? If this guy is such a big deal in dog fighting, how hard would it be to figure out who he was?

Bill Simmons
  (1:33 PM)

I'll be honest: I turned that story off when they started showing the tapes of the dog fights. We were completely wrong in showing that, that was one of the few times where I completely and totally disagreed with an ESPN decision. Dogfighting is awful, we know it's awful, you don't need to show the tapes.

Kramer, Cleveland

Watching the Tribe game last night I was blown away by the reception that Trot Nixon got. Very classy move by Boston fans. I can't think of many other instances were a player wasn't booed after coming back with another team, no matter what the circumstances of them leaving. It really improved my opinion of Boston as a city. From putrid to disgusting.

Bill Simmons
  (1:35 PM)

Um, Mr. Big Shot needs to start hitting some big shots. He's been living off the 2004 + 2005 playoffs now for two years.

Yi Jianlian (China)

It is so good to already have such a good fan in Bill Simmons, I am honored. I hope my reception in Boston is as warm as I have recieved from you. Do you know a good jumpshooting coach on the east coast?

Bill Simmons
  (1:36 PM)

Kill me.

Dan (Boston)

Could Roger Clemens get a more fitting and deserving sendoff than joining the last place Yankees and getting absolutely lit up by American League hitting, simultaneously devaluing his last 3 seasons, burying what's left of the Yankees, and guaranteeing that fans in every city he ever played in despise him but take solace in the memory of his abysmal failure at the end.

Bill Simmons
  (1:40 PM)

I have to say, everything's set up for the perfect ending. I'm hoping it ends with Big Papi nailing him in the butt with a line drive, followed by a giant vial of HGH flying out of Clemens's back pocket and landing at Jeter's feet at shortstop, followed by one of those endings like the end of Cruel Intentions, when everything turns to slow motion as a horrified Clemens glances around (like Sarah Michele Gellar in the movie) and everyone shakes their heads at him in disgust while "Bittersweet Symphony" plays on the PA system.

Tim (Chicago)

You never would have had lunch at the Four Seasons when you lived in Mass. Are you officially a California sell out?

Bill Simmons
  (1:43 PM)

Hey, I take umbrage to that question! The Four Seasons lounge used to be a bar that was used in The Verdict, the one where Paul Newman got drunk and played pinball. That's a cool place to have lunch. So take it back.

Steve (Lowell, MA)

Any thoughts on the 2008 election yet?

Bill Simmons
  (1:43 PM)

I'm just excited that we get to elect a new President. I don't even care who it is. Although the thought of Bill Clinton becoming the "First Man," from ZA comedy standpoint, is extremely appealing.

mark (ottawa)

how can you discuss "suicidal beards" without mentioning Campbell Scott in Singles?!? He set the bar - that's like talking about great dunkers and not mentioning Dr. J.

Bill Simmons
  (1:45 PM)

Excellent point. Does Tom Hanks in "Castaway" qualify? I got sucked into that movie this weekend...it gets 5% better every time. The parts with Wilson kill me. I wanted them to include a scene where he gets a hooker after she comes back and makes her wear a volleyball mask.

Joe Amsterdam (Tenafly, NJ)

As a Yankees fan let me just say I've closed shop on this season. If you will excuse me I am now going to slam my testicles in a car door.

Bill Simmons
  (1:47 PM)

I e-mailed my Uncle Ricky and cousin Chris (two Yankee fans today) to ask them if they enjoyed the 2007 season. Chris e-mailed me back and said now he knows how it feels to be a Red Sox fan. So I e-mailed back and pointed out that the Red Sox haven't lost 90 games in a season since the mid-60's, the Yanks are on pace to lose 95. Then he e-mailed me back and said now he knows what it's like to be a Mets fan. The Yankee fans are grasping at straws. It's fantastic.

Rob (Portland, OR)

What does a volleyball mask look like? Is it anything like a left-handed football bat?

Bill Simmons
  (1:47 PM)

I meant a mask that was made out of one side of a volleyball.

Eric (NC)

If the Yankees have the "best fans" will they sell out their games in early september when they are 20 games back?

Scott, Salt Lake City

Bill please give me an outsider, objective opinion on last night's game (specifically, the officiating). True the Jazz didn't lose it because of the refs - we just couldn't make enough plays. But good grief - now it is easy to see why everyone hates the spurs - cause they are babies, they flop, and they get way too many calls. Oh and did I mention they are BABIES? please comment.

Bill Simmons
  (1:50 PM)

I didn't think the officiating was the problem. Utah is one perimeter player short - they could have addressed this during the season and decided against it. If they had a bigger guard who could defend Ginobili and make an outside shot, they could have won this series. Even if they traded for someone like Cuttino Mobley or Mo Peterson, that would have worked.

Jeff (Dallas, TX)

Have you seen this new reality show on E! called 'Sunset Tan'? I caught the pilot episode last night and this show is easily an 8 on the unintentional comedy scale. It follows the employees at an LA tanning salon through their daily activites and the 'drama' in the salon. Not only have I come to the assumption that the only qualification for working at a tanning salon is breathing, but everyone on the show looks like an Oompa-Loompa with their fake orange tans. First episode highlights, a house visit to Jose Canseco's ex-wife where she gets completely naked followed by a house party where a majority of the employees skinny dip infront of two 18 year old girls. Fantastic! Episode 2 should definitely involve Chris Hansen.

Bill Simmons
  (1:51 PM)

I'm adding it to my Season Pass as soon as this chat ends. Any other bad-but-good summer shows coming? Other than the MTV shows (Inferno and the Vegas reunion), I can't think of any. What happens when the Sopranos ends in 2 weeks?

Gary Bettman (New York)

Ottawa vs Anaheim!!?? What did I do to deserve this? Oh yeah, I single handly destroyed a professional sports league.

Ben, Boston

You've been talking about the Chinese guy so much lately I'm afaid you forgot Big Al Horford. Didn't you see the Florida/Ohio State game where he held Oden to 7 points while he scored 11 and pulled down 11 boards? This is the guy the Celts should pick right? Can you give us your scouting report on Hort please?

Bill Simmons
  (1:52 PM)

It's not gonna matter - the Grizz are taking him. Conley's going 3, Horford's going 4.

Ryan (Minneapolis, MN)

Any chance the Celtics make a play for Garnett? What would you offer us (the Wolves) for him?

Bill Simmons
  (1:55 PM)

I'm sure if they gave up Jefferson, they'd get him, But that would be insane. If I were the Celtics, I'd offer the No. 5, Telfair's expiring deal, Ratliff's expiring deal, Gerald Green, Wally (expires in 2009), Minny's No. 1 pick (we have the rights to the one after the one the Clips get) and our 2008 pick for KG and the Marko Jaric/Trenton Hassell contracts (both expire 2-3 years after Wally's deal).

Bill Simmons
  (1:55 PM)

That gives Minny 4 No 1's (including the No. 5 this year, and they already have the No. 7) plus the chance to be under the cap next summer and WAY under the cap in 2009.

Carl F (NH)

If the Sox didn't win the WS in 2004, how comfortable are we with this current lead?

Bill Simmons
  (1:56 PM)

Zero percent comfortable.

Adam (chandler, AZ)

I know you already dedicated a column to this but, what do you think the next move is for the Suns... I really doubt they will trade Stat- Which I wouldn't want anyway. Any chance they can make a trade that would get David Stern on their payroll (like the Spurs do now)?

Bill Simmons
  (1:58 PM)

They're screwed because Kurt Thomas exercised his 2008 player option for $8.3 million... they're a good 10-12 million over the tax right now. I could see them matching up with Charlotte, Charlotte has the 8th pick and could absorb Marion's contract, that would put Phoenix under the tax. They could even throw in Walter Hermann and his headband. He belongs on the Suns.

Mike Francesa

I need you to pour my diet coke for the rest of the year. I'm so depressed

Bill Simmons
  (1:58 PM)

I thought you had a Diet Coke IV?

Tim Maywood, NJ

When is George going to erupt? I know this is great for you but even you'd have to admit that the season is not the same w/out the Yankees. I keep waiting for them to snap out of this but it's starting to look like the band on the Titanic just keeps playing same song until the ship sinks. Then A-Rod will turn to Jeter and say "well it's been nice playing with you" before he bolts to the Cubs. Where is George? He's the new Howard Hughes.

Bill Simmons
  (2:00 PM)

George is in poor health. Everyone refuses to write about this. Not sure why.

HatefulNY (New York)

Im so happy the yankees stink, what do you think it will be like to see "The Rocket" end his career infront of 16,000 in September??

Bill Simmons
  (2:00 PM)

Delightful? Glorious? Euphoric?

Suzyn Waldman (NYC)

Of ALL the dramatic things, Roger Clemens is coming back -- to a Yankee team 13 1/2 games out of first place!!! Oh my goodness gracious!!!

Justin (Boydton, VA)

What can you say about Youk and his stellar performance so far? Should us Sox fans have seen this coming?

Bill Simmons
  (2:02 PM)

He started off hot last year as well. Everyone forgets this. His 2006 stats weren't so good only because he slumped the past 2 months. I'm a huge fan. He's also a great guy by all accounts. This might be the most likable Sox team ever, even more than the 2004 team. Good guys across the board.

Brad (Oshkosh, WI)

When will the SportsGal do the season ending blog for "The Bachelor"?

Bill Simmons
  (2:03 PM)

She wrote one last week, we posted it on Thursday: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=bachelor/070524

JKL(Boston, MA)

I can't believe you are giving up on Conley. This is the HAWKS for crying out loud.

Bill Simmons
  (2:04 PM)

Very good point. I just can't believe Knight would pass up on a quality PG... although it would be one of the five funniest moments in NBA history if he did.

Legal, NJ

As a Suns fan, is it reasonable to hope D'Antoni is smart enough as a GM to at least offer Marion, Barbosa, the 24, 29 and Atl's unprotected first rounder next year for Kobe? And could the Suns survive with Kobe and Bell on the same team?

Bill Simmons
  (2:04 PM)

Intriguing idea.

Bill Simmons
  (2:06 PM)

That's been the underrated problem with the Suns, by the way - D'Antoni took over personnel last summer and botched the Banks signing as well as trading the 2007 draft picks. Coaches should never be in charge of personnel, it's only worked once in the past 20 years - with Popovich in SA, and he had two No. 1 overall picks to help himself out.

Tom (Malvern, PA)

Your thoughts on the Timmy tribute at the end of last week's Inferno.

Bill Simmons
  (2:06 PM)

It was right up there with the end of "Brian's Song."

Meg (Danbury, CT)

Will the Sports Gal continue to write now that The Bachelor has ended?

Bill Simmons
  (2:07 PM)

She's retiring. She hated the pressure of coming up with something everything. She'd much rather IM with her friends.

Al (chicago, il)

can we rip on coaches for a minute here? mike brown, he's the worst right? would you ever want a coach that looks confused all the time? that's gotta be worse than doc right? please, we need to call this guy out and get lebron on a real team. we are wasting the talent here.

Bill Simmons
  (2:08 PM)

I can't even rip on Mike Brown because he's so overmatched... it's almost not funny. When Flip Saunders is working you like a speedbag, it's time to pick another profession.

Mike (Houston, TX)

Do you think the Rockets will regret letting JVG go?

Bill Simmons
  (2:09 PM)

Wow, it would be so tough to find another coach to take you all the way to the first round of the playoffs. Come on.

Patrick (Louisville)

I have now spent 90 minutes reading about particle physics and how it may pertain to the Lost island. Thanks Bill!

Bill Simmons
  (2:09 PM)

Youre welcome!

Jason (Philly)

Pretend you wake up on June 28th and you're Billy King (try to contain yourself) who do you take for the Sixers at 12,- Al Thornton, Acie Law, Nick/Thaddeus Young?

Bill Simmons
  (2:12 PM)

Lemme tell you, I akm TERRIFIED of the Sixers getting Thornton at No. 12. That's a worst-case scenario, he's exactly what Philly needs and would make them competitive ASAP. He's the dark house for 2007-08 ROY because he's 23 and ready to play right away.

Joe (Bethesda, MD)

If Conley goes 3 and Horford goes 4, then shouldn't the Celtics take Brewer at 5. Am I crazy in thinking that worst-case scenario Brewer turns out to be Caron Butler.

Bill Simmons
  (2:13 PM)

I'd take Brewer with that pick. He's one of the best 5 guys in this draft and plays bigger when it matters. If he's not as good as Josh Howard, I will be shocked.

Shahan (New York, NY)

Simmons repeated another answer, everybody drink again!

Bill Simmons
  (2:13 PM)

It's accidental - the system has locked up a coupla times.

Mike - Indy

Bill, I know you feel bad about picking at 5 - so what if I were to offer you Jermaine Oneil for that pick and Theo and Wally? Is that something you might be interested in?

Bill Simmons
  (2:15 PM)

I'm not sure if I'd be that excited to pay JO $20 million a year when he couldn't even lead the Pacers into the playoffs last spring. Doesn't sound too enticing.

kenny (San Jose, CA)

If the Bulls got Zach Randolph, would it help them or hurt them?

Bill Simmons
  (2:16 PM)

I think it would help them - he'd rip apart the East and you can always get away with one shaky guy. I don't think they have the contracts to pull it off though, they'd have to sign and trade Nocioni and/or PJ Brown as part of the deal.

caleb WA

Hey, I'm playing online poker and reading this chat at work. Do you think i'll have a job at the end of the day?

Bill Simmons
  (2:16 PM)

Couldn't you throw in a little porn to complete the trifecta?

jay (haverhill MA)

Sports guy, Bonds is coming to Fenway in June. If there was an Awkward Moment of Silence Meter, where do you think the first Bonds/Schilling matchup would rank? Ignoring the boos, of course, but I'd have to say it would fit nicly between Bridget's phone call to Brady and anytime Cashman walks into Georgie Boy's office.

Bill Simmons
  (2:18 PM)

i have to say, I can't wait for Bonds's first Fenway game. I'm legitimately pumped. Not just for the booing, either - it's just going to be a cool baseball moment.

Jason (Brighton, MA)

In light of the homerun on the Mass Pike question, have you ever been asked if someone has ever hit the Citgo sign? I have once, if so how did you handle it? Laugh in their face? Tell them Jose Canseco did it in 1995?

Bill Simmons
  (2:20 PM)

I swear, Cecil Fielder would have hit that thing once but the lights stopped the ball. I can't be the only one who remembers this. it would have been the first 1200-foot home run.

Bernie (Montreal Quebec)

Jenkees dropped some dope beats for your podcast, hope you checked them out..

Bill Simmons
  (2:20 PM)

Yup, he did. You can check them out at www.ronaldjenkees.com. Is it wrong that I want to legally adopt him and have him live with us?

Frenchy (Tewksbury, MA)

Bill did you watch the UFC PPV Saturday night? If so what were your thoughts? Every single fight they showed was exciting. Boxing can't even get an exciting main event let alone a whole under card of great fights like that. And you need to go to Sherdog and watch every interview there is with Rampage I don't think the world is ready for him.

Bill Simmons
  (2:22 PM)

Didn't see it only because I wasn't home on Saturday night and accidentally saw Liddell lost on ESPN.com that night, so I scrapped it. But you're right. boxing could learn a ton from the way UFC does their PPV cards, five quality fights. Even when boxing has a great undercard (like the fantasticPavlik fight 2 weeks ago), the main event will suck (like Taylor-Spinks 2 weeks ago).

Rick (Chicago)

Did you see the Edison Miranda/Kelly Pavlik middle weight bout last weekend? It was fantastic on two fronts; 1, a classic middle weight fight in which two guys stood toe to toe and absolutely murdered each other fro 7 rounds, and 2. Larry Merchant uttering the phrase, "Its about to get crunk!"

Bill Simmons
  (2:24 PM)

Got this question after a typed the last answer. It was an AMAZING fight and Larry was in rare form.

Seth (Cleveland, OH)

The ronaldjenkees site isn't working... did we all crash it already?

Bill Simmons
  (2:25 PM)

Uh-oh... sorry, about that. Here's his You Tube link. http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=ronaldjenkees

Chris (Memphis)

Who is the least likely guest for the podcast? My vote is a tie between Doc and Isiah.

Bill Simmons
  (2:26 PM)

I'd say Doc would be the least likely guest. I wouldn't rule Isiah out ... he's just crazy enough to come on.

Ray San Antonio, Tx

Bill no one talks about this but how funny is that USA basketball commercial. Everytime it gets to Lebron you can almost feel him sounding out the words as he tries to read them with those crazed eyes. Even with your eyes clsed you can tell when his part is up. Do you think he decided to mail that part in along with the rest of the regular season.

Bill Simmons
  (2:27 PM)

I love that and I also love the Brad Miller commercial... I always picture him sitting at his house at 3AM with two groupies, drinking Tequila and then that commercial coming on and him saying, "See, I told you I was on the team!"

Paul (College Station)

Hey Bill where do you think Acie Law IV will end up and what type of career do you see him having

Bill Simmons
  (2:28 PM)

I see him being really good - not an All-Star, but Cassell-esque and someone who makes a good team very good. Would love to see the Clips get him at No. 14.

Ryan (Arlington and Virginia)

How much did last night suck on TV? The game wasn't that good. No 24 or Heroes and I couldn't re-watch The Sopranos or Entourage? Miss Universe was not an acceptable alternative

Bill Simmons
  (2:29 PM)

Sunday night was worse - I was all fired up for the Sopranos and had no idea it was being bumped for that Wounded Knee movie. Unbelievable. What a crummy TV weekend.

Andrew (North Andover, MA)

Wait so are you gonna use that intro cuz that would be sick. You have to have him on too.

Bill Simmons
  (2:30 PM)

When he finishes it, we WILL use the Jenkees intro. I loved it, thought it was really good. Also, I won't make him change his last name when we legally adopt him.

Amy (Canada)

Bill if Wyc gave you the nod as GM, who would you pick for the C's come this June?

Bill Simmons
  (2:31 PM)

I would take Brewer, then trade Paul Pierce for the following package: Someone who could replace 75% of his scoring, an expiring contract and a top-12 pick. For instance, a deal with Ben Gordon, the No. 9 pick and a PJ Brown sign-and-trade (1 year, $10 million) works.

Matt , Mechanic Falls, ME

One of my best friends has been a die hard Red Sox fan for over 20 years. The other day after a small discussion, we decided that the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry is not an on-field rivalry anymore, it's a rivalry to see which group of fans can be more obnoxious when they are winning. Is this a fair description?

Bill Simmons
  (2:32 PM)

Hmmm... have to think about that one. FYI: We're wrapping this up soon.

Brooks (Cleveland)

Why does Charles Barkley hate Lebron so much?? This has gone on several years now and it is clear for some reason Chuck has an anti-Lebron agenda. Just because Chuck was a career loser doesn't mean Lebron will be. He is 22 for god's sake!

Bill Simmons
  (2:35 PM)

LeBron has turned into a polarizing figure to some degree, mainly because there's been nothing else to discuss the past 2 weeks. But I think everyone has the same problem with him in some form - he's carrying himself and talking about himself like someone who's accomplished something, instead of concentrating on just accomplishing something. I thought his Game 3 was the single best game I've ever seen from him. He was incredible. Clearly, he has the talent. But he coasts on that talent too much and some people take it personally.

Joe (Ottawa)

Who do you like in the Ducks/Sens final? (wondering if you really give a crap)

Bill Simmons
  (2:36 PM)

OTTAWA! ANAHEIM! It's the Stanley Cup Finals on VERSUS!

Rob (Los Angeles, CA)

What about Lamar Odom (75% of Pierce's scoring), Kwame Brown ($9 mil expiring contract) and the Lakers #19 pick for Paul Pierce Bill?

Bill Simmons
  (2:36 PM)

I'd have to get Farmar in the deal as well and make them take Telfair.

Bill Simmons
  (2:38 PM)

All right, I gotta wrap things up - look out for this week's podcast, we have one of the greatest athletes of the decade joining us. Thanks to everyone who sent in questions, over 15,000 in two hours on short notice! Enjoy the rest of the day.

Bill Simmons
  (2:40 PM)

PS: RIP Marquise Hill