Hello, SportsNation. Glad to be here on a Friday at 4 pm ET. While many people are out enjoying happy hour, I think we all know what the real cool kids are doing: sitting indoors chatting on the computer with me. Agreed? Agreed. Let's begin ...
Ohhhhhh, by the way, I should mention that the Pirates beat Manatee Community College 21-1 today, so ... yeah, I'm going to struggle to not be really smug about what is clearly the best team in baseball. Sorry, but they're awesome. And you must learn to deal with it.
How did you feel about Bob Huggins' formal attire last night?
That was the nicest I've seen a West Virginian dress since Kevin Pittsnogle went top hat and tails at his wedding.
Don't for get us idiots stuck at work looking to burn an hour
Take THAT, American economy.
I haven't been reading your stuff much since NFL ended. Is your job status safe? I went ahead and just clicked on the ESPN front page headline to your article just so you get the click, undecided if I'll read it or not.
With readers as dedicated as you, I'm sure my job will always be safe. It's even better if you don't read the article because your browser is open on my article for hours which looks good for my stats: "They love Gallo so much they stay on his article page all day!!!!"
Or they'll just assume you're a terrible reader, which is another big segment of my fanbase.
Watching the nba all star weekend stuff, I was surprised by how fat guys like Jalen Rose and Kenny Smith have gotten. You think you could come up with some sort of reality tv show for this?
I thought Jalen Rose looked okay for someone who hasn't been training like a pro athlete for a few years. But Kenny Smith is definitely packing on the pounds. I don't even know if it's lack of diet and exercise. It may just be because the pounds Barkley has lost landed on him. Or maybe he's just a moon circling Planet Barkley.
Was Danny Ainge drunk yesterday?
Probably not. And that's the concerning part.
Now that Charlie Sheen is somewhat unemployed, where could he fit in the sports world?
I've already said that he could easily step into the middle of the Yankees starting rotation. He has a baseball background and he's clearly better than A.J. Burnett. Plus, "Two And A Half Men" is the approximate size of both CC Sabathia and Bartolo Colon.
Hi DJ! I bet a friend I could get a question on this chat. If you help out I'll give you a couple of pennies. So, there. Have fun talking to drunks!
Unfortunately, you lose the bet. Because I don't see a question in your post. Too bad.
Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did Beiber cut off his hair!!!! Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! Why, Beebs, why?!?
Whaaaaaa? Is this true? If so, it's clearly because he is at a very crucial point in his career -- trying to transition from teeny bopper star to someone adults don't want to vomit on and punch -- so he decided he didn't want to be associated with a failure like Tom Brady. I can't blame him. I don't think Brady has won anything since before Bieber was born.
Im not drunk............yet.
But you ARE an actual drunk. Because it's 2:12 in Denver and happy hour hasn't started. Good job. Say hi to Charlie Sheen for us.
With the Pirates 21-1 dismantling of the Manatees this afternoon, it's obvious that the Pirates will be winning the World Series. The only question is who will they get to perform for the post game concert and fireworks shows during the playoffs? Who would your top choices be? I think Styx might be available...
Definitely Styx. My other suggestion would be the Povertyneck Hillbillies ... but I believe they broke up. Too bad.
Will Utah drafting Jimmer ease the sting of losing DWill?
I fear Utah won't draft The Jimmer. Kind of how Jacksonville didn't draft Tebow. They understood they needed to share that kind of power with the world. And for that they should be commended.
There is a very young kid playing games on his moms iphone at very annoying volumes. Should I tell him to pipe down?
While you are not a hobo, this is why hobos should be placed on all trains. Almost like federal marshals on planes. You think a hobo would let a kid play on an iPhone at high volumes? No way. He'd crack him over the head with his bindle and then eat soup out of his skull.
I saw a DVD of "Snow Dogs" starring Cuba Gooding, Jr. for sale at a Rite Aid for $24.95 last week. Did that really happen? Who would pay that much for that item?
The Borders near me is going out of business. So I went there last weekend because everything was 20% off. They also had Snow Dogs listed at $24.95 regular price. HOW DID THEY REACH BANKRUPTCY WITH THOSE GREAT PRICES?!?!?!?!
Does the fact that January Jones cheers for the Steelers nullify her lack of acting skills?
January Jones ACTS? Awesome. She has many talents.
Hey, come hang with us here, DJ!
Lenny Dykstra's latest financial advice: "What you want to do is put all of your money into crack futures. Trust me on this!"
I saw a 2 Disk Special Edition Batman (the Micheal Keaton version) at a Rock 30 Games for $40.00 last summer. Almost bought it....
FYE is another store with similar prices. "Hmmm ... should I buy this cd for $19.99. Or should I just download it for $9.99. Nah ... I'll buy the cd. Having money is dumb."
Why is basketball so hard!!!
I read an article on Thabeet when he was a senior at UConn. He said that in his free time he liked to go to clubs in "New York and Hartford." Hartford. Clubs in Hartford. It was then that I knew no one should invest anything in him.
Charlie Sheen, Jimmer, and Gallo. The new two and a half men?
That was offensive to me. How dare you say The Jimmer is just a man.
And speaking of overweight former athletes, Magic Johnson tweeted today that he still needs to lose 5 to 10 more pounds. Isn't this worth betting on in Vegas?
I saw that. And was confused by it. I think in order to fall under the 140-character limit, he left off an extra 0 on both the 5 and 10.
Actually, CC and Bartolo are more like 3 men. How about Bartolo, CC, and Hank Steinberenner in the remake of 3 men and a baby?
How about Sabathia, Colon, Andruw Jones and Joba Chamberlain in: "Four Men Eat A Baby Steer"?
Can I.... uh....... touch 'em?
Sure. Fine. Touch them. Just please stop predicting you will win the Super Bowl. It's really pathetic. You're like the Weird, Giant Boy Who Cried Wolf.
I've heard that if you hold a shell from the Great Salt Lake up to your ear, you can hear a Jimmer Fredette jumper swishing through the net.
It could be the sound of The Jimmer. It could also be the sound of Deron Williams' plane taking off for Newark. No one is quite sure.
Why are you pro-hobocide?
I wouldn't say I am pro-hobocide. It's not up there with other cides. For example: homocide. Or as we've seen in Auburn: herbicide.
By the way, from the pictures I've seen, the alleged herbicider looks like a hobo.
Everyone say we got Carmelo and I thought we get candy and I was like, "Yaaayyy!!! I love candy!!!! But, then Daddy say Carmelo just some bad man that plays basketball, not yummy candy. Now I sad.
I haven't heard any news about Jimmer in a few hours. Is he ok?
You're from New Jersey? Soon you'll be the only state that does Gym, Tan, Laundry. The rest of us are moving on to: Jimmer, Tan, Laundry. One day it will replace "In God We Trust" on the $1 bill.
So the guy in the auburn crime committed hoberbomicide? My head hurts...
I love your Page 2 collums there amazing!
Ma, if you're going to participate in the chats, at least don't give it away so easy by making your state your name. (Be up for dinner soon! Love you!)
I'm a Panthers fan. Give me your best Panthers joke.
A Carolina Panther walks into a bar. A sports bar. In Charlotte. Absolutely no one recognizes him.
It's funny (?) because it's true.
How much is Gary Bettman praying that there isn't an NFL or NBA season next year?
Probably a lot. Unfortunately, Bettman is so short that his prayers don't reach God. Unless he jumps.
Did you see my pathetic Cavs picked up Baron Davis? Sadly, I'm happy about this trade. I figure his butt can fill up 2 seats next year.
You live in Philadelphia ... why are you a Cavs fan? Maybe you should consider being a fan of the team there in Philade- ... nah, just stick with the Cavs.
So, it's supposed to rain in Phoenix this weekend and we have a NASCAR race that will be rained out. What do I do with all these race fans that have no race to attend? Move?
Just put up a sign in your window saying that you have no Dale, Jr. memorabilia inside. They will move on to another house.
Now im drunk.
There ya go!
DJ, why do fans blame Duke for the demise of the ACC? Isn't that what they are doing when they complain about their SOS?
The decline of ACC basketball was expected. Because they're about to become the nation's premier football conference!!!! (This post brought to you by 2004.)
Who wins tomorrow's game between BYU and San Diego State? Score?
Hmmmm ... let me break it down ... ONE TEAM HAS THE JIMMER!!!!!!! ... and the other does not. Yet another Jimmer-related question that is incredibly offensive.
Drink for everytime THE Jimmer is said!
I hope you are drinking something with no alcohol or caffeine.
DJ, With Carmelo gone, the Avs in a freefall, and the Broncos just plain sad how does a Mile High sports fan cope???
Well, you've got Jim Tracy. He once got fired by the Pirates, so he's probably really good.
Do the stories of me crying all day yesterday hurt my tough guy reputation? Or will my on court scowling make people forget about it?
Just imagine if Big Baby ever got traded. Boston might flood.
dude, do you have to be high to ask a question?
Who would win in a prayer-off, Jimmer or Tebow? Trick question, the answer is humanity.
What's going on? Anything exciting? Or were just bored on a Friday afternoon so decided to chat?
Yep. Just chatting. But according to Ben in L.A., everyone is high. But I think it's just a contact high because I mentioned Charlie Sheen earlier in the chat. He's that potent.
Did you mean Boston would flood because when he doesn't play they use Big Baby as a levee?
on your ice cream, do you put sprinkles or...wait for it...JIMMERS?!!
Rainbow Jimmers. Just like his perfect jumper.
You might want to get your next company photo taken professionally. Just sayin'.
I did get it taken professionally. It was at Old Tyme Photos. I dressed up as a hobo.
better actor... Chris Bosh or Charlie Sheen?
Better question ... Better jumper: Chris Bosh or Charlie Sheen? Most people in the crowd could do better than 1-for-19.
So I guess it's finally decided: Chris Bosh is Miami's third option.
Seriously, Chris Bosh making the All Star Game was the biggest joke ever.
Well, they had to meet the Celtics/Heat quota somehow.
JIMMER > BOSH
Unfair comparison for Bosh, as basic mathematics, philosophy and theology say: Jimmer > humanity.
Did Bosh attend the Spurs' Flop Camp? How can I go?
That was a Manu Ginobili-quality Matrix-style flop. Great special effects.
What must I do to get my starting job back?
Grow a neck beard. You will never see anyone grow a neck beard harder than Tim Tebow. God bless.
How did BYU lose that one game to New Mexico? It has to have something to do with Roswell, right?
Did Jimmer even play that game? Maybe the government captured him and did tests to see if he was human. He's not. He's Jimmeran. A species of one.
Speaking of 2 1/2 Men, what was I screaming about when I was introduced as part of the Big 3 in Miami?
Dude, I was 1 for 18. Get your facts straight, hobo
Oh. Whoops. I need to fire my fact checker. However, you were only 1-for-18 because you didn't attempt a 19th shot.
You see the latest Glee episode about teen drinking? If so what did you think
Yes, of course I saw the latest Glee episode. Because I hate myself.
How much would you pay to see an MMA style brawl between Jimmer and Tebow? Would the earth be able to withstand the aftermath of those punches?
It would be like Alien Vs. Predator. But for good.
Can you take me higher, DJ?
Speaking of hating yourself, if you do hate yourself, I encourage you to Google the Scott Stapp Florida Marlins video. It will at least make you hate your ears.
DJ, the Yankees always seem to bring in low-cost pitchers during their prime, with their rotation in shambles who do you think they'll go after? Josh Beckett?
I don't think Josh Beckett is on their radar. And I mean their actual radar. The Yankees have radar, but it only spots pitchers who are 300 pounds or larger.
You can only write one more article for the rest of your life do you go with a) Jimmer b) Favre c) hobos?
I could never decide. It's the same reason I don't go out for Halloween anymore. Because those are the three costumes I always consider and can never decide. I once went as Hobo Favre, but people just thought I was regular Favre.
BYU didn't lose that game to New Mexico, Jimmer scored 52 and BYU won by 30. The government just covered the whole thing up so the power of Jimmer wouldn't be revealed to the world.
I believe this.
The Dan LeBatard radio show did a parody of the Stapp Marlins song. Not sure if it's online, but it's outstanding.
Wait ... the Stapp song wasn't a parody of music????? Wow.
Alright, dear ones ... it's 5 pm. The chat is over. It's Friday night, so I'm going to go do something super-cool, because that is just the way I roll.
(I'm going to go watch Jimmer highlights while Creed plays in the background. Jealous????)