Dan Patrick burns worms with golfer Charles Howell III
Dan Patrick's interview with PGA golfer Charles Howell III appears in the March 17 edition of ESPN The Magazine
DP: Your dad's a surgeon. Did you ever think about going into medicine?
|Charles Howell III prefers Tupac over Biggie.|
CH: I can't stand the sight of blood, and I pass out at the sight of needles. Show me a needle, I hit the floor.
DP: So, final round of the Masters, Tiger brings out a needle …
CH: Exactly, I'm done.
DP: Let's say he doesn't have a needle. Does Tiger intimidate you?
CH: No. I'm younger than he is, so I feel like I have nothing to lose.
DP: Is there a misconception about your hometown, Augusta, that you want to dispel?
CH: Lost inside the issue of women being admitted to Augusta National is that Augusta is a great town, and the members are good people.
DP: Does your wife golf?
CH: She understands golf but doesn't play at all. It's probably best.
DP: Yes, you'll stay together longer that way.
DP: You get a lot of Thurston Howell III jokes?
CH: You can not imagine. Lee Janzen calls my wife "Lovey."
DP: Your actual nickname sounds like a rapper's: CH3.
CH: Actually, now that you say it, it does.
DP: Do you like rap?
CH: At Oklahoma State I had a poster of Tupac and one of Augusta National. They were on opposite sides of the room.
DP: You think Tupac's dead?
CH: No. I have my theories. I was in Vegas for a tournament, and I had a cabbie take me to where Tupac was shot.
DP: What did you see?
CH: A gas station, a broken headlight and some asphalt.
DP: Not exactly a great memorial. I'm more Biggie than Tupac.
CH: Then I guess I have to hate you.
DP: You've got to daydream. What's the strangest Thought you've had standing over a putt?
CH: Jesper Parnevik asks me brain-teasers. Like, at last year's LA Open, I was trying to figure out: If I wrap a string around the world and stretch the string so it is three feet above the earth's surface, how much longer will it be? [Ed.'s note: 3 feet x2¹=18.84 feet.]
DP: You do look a little nerdy.
CH: I want to look nice, but different. But I'll never wear pink pants or purple plaid.
DP: You talk to your clubs, don't you?
CH: All the time. Some threats are involved. I throw my putter in the closet until it learns to act better.